[mom 2 haley & tyler]

Well, where do I start? Dh and I got married in September 02. I lost my job in February 03 and shortly after had my 1st m/c. I was on the pill and lost the baby before I even knew I was pg. I just had very bad cramps and heavy bleeding, went to the dr and if was confirmed. I was m/c. I was completely devastated. It really made me start thinking of wanting kids soon. We had never really talked about when we would start ttc. Anyway, with a lot of talking into, we decided to start ttc in October 03. I found out the first week of January 04 that I was pg. I was so excited. I couldn't wait to have my baby. Well, I had a very uneventful pg. I had very little morning sickness or anything. We found out in May that we were having a girl. I was afraid dh would be disappointed because it wasn't a boy. He never showed any signs of being disappointed. She was due Sept 14, our 2 year wedding anniversary. Well, she wasn't ready. They induced me on September 17, 2004. Her heart rate kept slowing, so they did an emergency c-section. Now I had my beautiful Haley We had decided we only wanted one child. That was fine with me at the time. Then last May (07) we bought our first house. We decided to try again. So, in May I stopped my pills. I found out I was pg in the first week of July. We were so happy. At first everything was fine. Then one Sunday at about 6w, I started bleeding. We went to the dr Monday morning. They did an u/s and found a subchronic hematoma. But we saw the heartbeat. I was so thankful. The dr said that the baby would probably be fine. So, we were relieved. Dh and Haley both got to see the baby on the u/s. A week later I was scheduled for my next u/s. I knew in my heart that morning that we wouldn't see a hb again. I went in and they told me there was no baby left. I had lost my angel! I was scheduled for a d&c the following Monday. I just wanted it over. That was August 24. I have never felt so lost and helpless in all my life. Not even with my first m/c. I guess because that one was over before I even knew it. I grieved, but never like this. My levels didn't drop until late October. We started trying again, and we're still trying. I just want another baby. I don't understand why everything is taking so long. Dh doesn't want to see an RE. So, I guess we'll just keep trying a few more months and go from there. It's the hardest thing to TTCAL. Some days I don't even want to try anymore. Yet, I have this hope that one day I will hold another baby in my arms.

[Eleysia]

BIG Michelle, you will have another healthy baby I know it. Youll be holding him/her soon, and youll look into their eyes and realize that all of this was so worth being able to hold Haley's sibling. Im not giving up hope for you girl!

[madmum_sarah]

what eleysia said. i keep thinking of you and last night i dreamed of you with a baby and a little girl so i pray it comes true soon and you get that sticky bfp

xx

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

Thanks ladies. I hope your dream comes true Sarah. That would be awesome! You "knew" Eleysia was pg, so maybe I'll catch my egg next weeks.

[madmum_sarah]

i really hope so hun. you and bobbie are in my mind constantly right now (and the others of course) but there is something in my mind about you 2!
praying for you hunny
xx

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

Well I should be o'ing anyday now. This is 9 months since my m/c. I hope maybe this will be my lucky cycle. I've not been stressing about it yet. We've been dtd every other day just about, although that's normal for us. So, hopefully I'll catch that eggie. I'm just ready for another baby. I so want to be pg again before my 1 yr anniversary that I lost the baby. I will be testing June 11. If it's a BFP then I have to think of something to give my dh for Father's Day on the 15 and his Bday on the 18th. I hope I'll have a surprise for him.

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

Looks like I o'd cd13 this cycle. So, I guess I'm 2dpo. I hope we timed everything right this cycle and I'll get a BFP in about 2 weeks. I'm feeling pretty good about this cycle. I hope that means something. I would love to be able to tell dh on Father's Day. That would be awesome!

[madmum_sarah]

you know one of the best things to help you conceive, positive thinking! ok its a pain if it turns out wrong but it really does relax your body and help!
xxx

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I'm putting my positite thinking cap on for the next 2 weeks. Try to help me remember that when I start freaking out. lol

[madmum_sarah]

oh not a problem. just ask eleysia, i can be a bossy cow
i dont think you are going to need it though, im pretty sure we will all be keeping positive enough for you sweetheart. my tummy is in knots typing this. i have such a good feeling about you!! im pretty sure you are not far off
xxx

[Pitridge]

keep that positive thinking going,

[Eleysia]

Still thinking positive?! you had better be!!!!!!!!

[madmum_sarah]

too right you better be cos you woke me up from a deep sleep last night. yes thats right, YOU!
i had yet another dream of you holding a baby and there was a liitle girl who didnt look much older than your dd looking over the baby and stroking its head (sorry i couldnt get a real look at the baby to see if it was a boy or girl)
god girl if this isnt your cycle it cant be far off. i had 2 dreams of eleysia before her bfp and thats me had 2 of you, each one getting more colouful!
lots and lots of baby dust coming your way my darling (im using this one as its the one i used on bobbie and eleysia and looking back i left some for frozendesire) we can see hat happened to them so everything crossed it works for you!

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

Awww! Thanks so much Eleysia and Sarah. I'm still thinking positive thoughts. Sarah, I hope you're dreams are right. Sorry I woke you up though...lol! It was a good cause though. I wouldn't care if it's a boy or girl. I'd be happy with either. You are awesome! Let's hope you're right...hehehe! We'll know in a week. Next Friday I'll be 10dpo if I can wait that long..

[madmum_sarah]

you better wait it out longer than that madam! we dont want any bad vibes through disappointment of a bfn early on!
stay positive
xxx

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

Okay, how about Sunday the 8th. That's 12dpo.

[madmum_sarah]

hmmm if you holding off that long you could wait a day longer and test on my birthday. that way if i cant have a bfp of my own for my birthday i can at least be happy about yours

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

I am 6dpo today. I know it's super early, but I have been super dizzy the last 2 days. I hope that's a good sign. I will start testing probably Friday. I'll be 10dpo then. I'm still staying positive this cycle.

[madmum_sarah]

good girl (i refuse to admit i poas this morning for the same reason and others) )
i still have a feeling about you hun so it has to be soon
ohh i cant wait
xxx

[mom 2 haley & tyler]

Woohoo I finally did it!! I'm pregnant It took my 9 long months to get to this point. I'm excited, but a little scared.