[KirstenM]

Well I'm not usually much good at keeping a journal, but I'm going to make an effort to update at least once a week.

Background
DH and I met online just over 5 years ago, fell in love, got engaged and then married on April 23rd, 2005. We had always planned on having children, but DH wasn't keen to start trying immediately so we agreed to start in February 2006. In July 2006 we found out that I was pregnant and were very excited. the pregnancy was amazing - no morning sickness, no problems at all. At 29 weeks I went into labour, which they managed to stop and I was sent home again only to go into labour again 4 days later. This time there was no stopping it and our healthy and beautiful little boy was born on January 4th, 2007. Unfortunately he contracted a bacterial infection which they could do nothing about and he joined the angels on January 10th, 2007. We were advised to give ourselves a break before ttc again, and then we started experiencing serious problems in our marriage. We decided to stop ttc until we had sorted ourselves out.

Since July 2008 we are now officially ttc for our second child, but so far nothing has happened. Life has been quite busy and chaotic in those months and I guess that together with the fact that we are often both tired and not in the mood to dtd, is contributing to the delay in catching the eggy.

13 January 2009
At the moment I am on CD 27 and nearly at the end of the 2ww. Hopefully we managed to catch the last eggy of 2008 and can start the new year with the good news that we are pregnant. Ultimately I know though that we will be given another precious child when God knows the time to be right for us. I have been feeling a little bloated and achy like I usually do before Af arrives so at the moment I'm assuming that she will be visiting again this month. I won't be testing until next week just to be sure that my cycle isn't a long one (which has also happened in the past months).

[KirstenM]

Well it's almost a week since I last wrote, and AF got me last week. So I'm now on CD5 and more determined than ever to succeed this year. I so want to hold a baby in my arms this year still. I've told DH that we have until March to make a 2009 baby and now he's also motivated. I've started charting my temps and am also taking Agnus Castus. And I'll try my luck at the opk's again so I'm off to buy some in the next day or so. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is our month.

[KirstenM]

Another week has passed and we're into the swing of things. We decided to try the SMEP this month and so far have only missed one day of bd'ing (yesterday), but we're back on the plan from today. I also succumbed and bought a pack of opk's so I joined the poas brigade yesterday. I had a faint line so definitely not ov yet, but hopefully within the next day or so.

[KirstenM]

Had a + opk last night so dh is on duty at the moment. The plan says to bd on the day of the + and the 2 nights following, take a break for one night and then bd one more night. I'm so amazed at how seriously he's taking this whole thing and that he hasn't once complained about "being used". I think though that if it doesn't work this month I won't get him to try this whole process again. If he were quite honest he'd say that he thinks I'm crazy. Maybe I'm wrong...

[KirstenM]

So much for following the plan We managed on the day of the + opk and then DH just couldn't "get into the mood" again and so that's where our attempt ended this month. I'm now on 6 dpo and have another 6 days before I can test so I'm in the middle of the 2ww and it's driving me crazy. I acutally considered taking a hpt just to see but know that it's much too early. I don't think we caught an egg this month and the pressure obviously isn't doing DH much good, so that was probably the one and only attempt at the SMEP plan. I guess from here on out, it's up to God to give us our bfp when He thinks we're ready. Maybe this is His way of teaching me how to trust Him.