Megan's Journal

megkatkoz · #1 December 14th, 2009, 03:39 PM

I have been reading all of the TTCAL journals over the course of 6 days now, and it is such an inspiration. I especially loved reading through the journies that every mom on here has taken.

I lost my son on October 2, 2009. He had a rare abdominal cyst that stopped his heart. I delivered at 17 weeks.

We tried last month, but we think it was too soon to try. I have a regular blog, but I don't want my family knowing that I am charting, and I think this is a great forum to post this aspect of my journey.

So, so far I think I am on CD 14. I took an OPK yesterday and it was positive, I have never gotten a positive before, even when I was pregnant with my son. My husband and I were together last night and the night before last, and if I can help it, tonight as well.

My temps have been steady at the 97.70 mark..one day it jumped to 98.10, but then the following day fell back to 97.70...so I don't think I ovulated yet.

Feeling a bit crampy today, so maybe this is it? Very new to the temp charting thing...

Here's hoping for a positive test in 3 weeks!

megkatkoz · #2 December 15th, 2009, 01:27 PM

So...I know I may sound stupid, but I don't get this ovulation thing! My temps this morning were still low, like 97.80. My positive OPK was Sunday. Today is Tuesday. So I guess I didn't ovulate?

My husband and I feel intense pressure to conceive. We want it so bad after our loss. He got so nervous that we would miss the egg that he wasn't able to....well, you know. So that put me into a state of panic thinking that it wasn't going to happen. Then I got a low temp this morning so I am thinking there is still a shot?

megkatkoz · #3 December 16th, 2009, 05:15 PM

CD 17....and still no elevated temps. I was 97.70 today.
The problem with having a miscarriage, besides the obvious devastation, is that it makes me feel broken, like my body does not work the same. We conceived our first in literally, 3 weeks. On June 1st we decided to try and not use any birth control and the docs said I conceived around June 20th. I don't understand the positive OPK, then three days later still not have signs that ovulation occurred. This is our 2nd month trying.

I can't stand not being pregnant. I miss it so much.

.:Shortcake:. · #4 December 17th, 2009, 06:48 AM

Just wanted to say hugs hun! I pray you get your BFP soon.

megkatkoz · #5 December 17th, 2009, 02:55 PM

Thanks Shortcake

Well, today is CD 17...and my temp this morning was 97.54. Maybe I already ovulated??? I don't know anymore. I can see why people chart, but I can also see why they don't....it gets so confusing.

I also do have this "cm" that everyone talks about, but its not at all stretchy....but I have never noticed it being stretchy ever in my life...

My ovulation tests are still positive, 4 days after the initial test. Why? I don't know. I am so tired from work, the thought of being with my husband is...not to sound mean, but excruciating.

My period is due in literally 2 weeks, so does that mean I am past ovulation? AHHHHHHHH! I hate not knowing things!

.:Shortcake:. · #6 December 17th, 2009, 03:29 PM

Its hard to tell. After a m/c your cycles can be really screwy. You can O early, on time, late or not at all. I hope you O'd and caught that egg!

megkatkoz · #7 December 18th, 2009, 10:59 AM

Well, here I am, CD 18 with a temp of 97.84...so, that is a rise from yesterday...but I don't know if its significant enough.

This is the last day of school before Christmas break. I am a teacher, so my job is pretty stressful and this break can't come soon enough. Maybe on break I will get to relax. I keep thinking that if I am pregnant I should find out by Jan. 1....sometimes, I feel like I have symptoms already, like I feel sick sometimes. Problem was, I never had symptoms when I was pregnant with my son, so I don't know what pregnancy symptoms feel like.

Maybe I am just wishful thinking, as my Christmas wish would be a pregnancy...
I wish this ovulation thing was easier for me to pinpoint.

megkatkoz · #8 December 19th, 2009, 10:23 AM

CD 19...

its the first day of my Christmas vacation and I woke up at 6 specifically to take my temperature. Crazy. It was 97.54, and I am having cramping today, so maybe I am just now ovulating? Took another OPK and it was positive....again. Which makes 6 in a row. I was just checked out by my doc, so I doubt its PCOS like the internet is freaking me out about. I know I O'd late with my first pregnancy, but I am surprised with this one considering my first positive OPK was a week ago. I wasted one and ran it under tap water to make sure they were actually accurate. Well, my faucet doesn't have an LH surge,but apparently, I still do.

My husband and I got into a fight this morning. I think from now on we are not going to obsess over timing, even if timing is everything. It's just not fun anymore. Its like, we want a child so bad, but not at so much stress. I think half of it is proving we can have a healthy baby.... I wish it was like the first time, and we conceive right away....

Sigh. I am stressed.

megkatkoz · #9 December 20th, 2009, 06:47 AM

CD 20 and I think I for sure ovulated yesterday, so I am calling today 1DPO. My temps had a significant rise this morning to 98.33, so even if FF won't confirm O, I am going with it.

We did bd yesterday, but it was really late/early morning this morning, so I hope that I caught it at the right time. I was cramping bad on and off yesterday, to where it felt like AF was coming, but today, I am not feeling it at all....maybe some dull ache, but thats it.

1DPO - dull ache in abdomen. Woke up starving....never really happens...

megkatkoz · #10 December 21st, 2009, 05:03 PM

Did I even ovulate this month?? My temps were down again.

I don't think I am going to temp anymore. It just gets me so confused...Going by my CM, I think I did ovulate on the 19th. So, I am 2 days DPO.

Symptoms: I am friggin hungry. I just smashed on Taco Bell like it was Thanksgiving dinner...but I was out Christmas shopping all day, so I might have just been starving.
Sometimes I have cramping....

Please God, let this be my month. I wonder if anyone out there doesnt have an ideal FF chart but still wound up pregnant....thats a story I need to hear.

megkatkoz · #11 December 23rd, 2009, 06:49 AM

Today is CD 23, or 4DPO. Feeling....extreme irritability.

megkatkoz · #12 December 25th, 2009, 12:42 PM

Merry Christmas!

I can't seem to relax, wondering if I am pregnant or not.

Last night in church, I was getting horrible cramps, sharper than aunt flow cramps, I was very uncomfortable. I was also light headed and dizzy.

There are blue veins on my chest...but no real soreness that I notice. I feel bloated and irritable.

I am 6do...and wish I could test. Just waiting til the 31st.....

I stopped temping. I wasn't consistent at the right times and it was stressing me out too much.

megkatkoz · #13 December 27th, 2009, 10:18 AM

Last night, I couldn't resist the urge, so I went and bought Answer Brand tests.

I expected a negative, so I bought cheap, thinking, I just need this to satisty my urge. I was 5 days before my missed period, so I knew it would be negative.

3 minutes later, I saw it.

The test line was way darker than the control line...so I thought the test must of been broken. Plus, with my first baby, I was negative until I was 4 days late. So I pulled out the charge card and bought the ClearBlue Digi.

PREGNANT.

I am stunned. I am scared it is a chemical since I have never got such a blazing positive 5 days before my missed period...so I am not sure what to believe...or when to get excited. I will be calling my doc on Monday....but I can't continue to pee on sticks, right? Should I accept this as true? Why would it show up so early....I am so scared its not real.

It says Pregnant, it really does!

Im.Nayomi · #14 January 5th, 2010, 09:24 AM

congrats & come back and update us

megkatkoz · #15 March 11th, 2010, 01:30 PM

I am back. I just read through my whole journal, what a whirlwind!
That pregnancy ended one week later in an ectopic. Luckily, it was caught early and I got to keep my tube. Now we are on cycle 2 of TTC our first after 2 losses.

I am on Cycle day 5 and will start OPKs in a few days. No temping though. Sigh...it will happen for me, one day....

Im.Nayomi · #16 March 11th, 2010, 04:01 PM

Sorry for your loss.....glad to see you update.

megkatkoz · #17 March 13th, 2010, 11:19 AM

Well, I am on CD 7, and went and bought OPKs. The directions say not to start them until CD 13, but I don't care, I want to know when it is happening. Expensive, I am sure it will be, but I want to know if I ovulate early or late, especially since DH and I were together so much last cycle and no pregnancy occurred. So, as of CD 7, I am not ovulating. 24 days til April 7th, the first day of testing for our Christmas baby! I am trying to stay positive that this will be our Christmas miracle!

Im.Nayomi · #18 March 13th, 2010, 09:12 PM

Here is lots of baby

megkatkoz · #19 March 22nd, 2010, 04:13 PM

CD 16, and finally, a smiley on the CBE digital ovulation predictor.

Hubby and I went away last night to a hotel room to relax and baby make, so we were together last night, and once already today...and we will make sure we get some dancing in tonight and tomorrow as well.

Does that mean we have a fairly good shot?

I hope so...