[momtoT]

Hi! I need a place to share this strange ttc journey I am on.

We're ttc #2 after a miscarriage in December and I am finding myself getting so frustrated. DS will be two in April, but still nurses all the time (including at night). This was great at first when I didn't want AF to return and I purposefully used ecological breastfeeding to avoid AF's return.

Then I started wanting to try for #2. I got my first pp period until July 2009 and I think it was only coaxed out because he decided to sleep through the night for a week.

We were kinda ntnp for the first two cycles. I am not sure I ovulated for those cycles. Then we were trying for two cycles and got pregnant the second cycle and lost the baby at about 5 weeks.

1st cycle after mc:

We were trying in in Jan. during the first cycle after the mc. Although I had gotten a bfn after my mc bleeding stopped, my body was still out of wack from the mc, which led me to suspect I was pregnant again because I was having weird symptoms. Plus I was using ICs that were showing faint lines, but that turned out to just be how the test always looks. I was pretty disappointed when AF arrived, but ready for a new cycle.

I told myself I wouldn't test too early next time.

2nd cycle after mc:

Then this month I thought I was going to ovulate on Valentine's day. But then I didn't have a temp. shift. I think I ended up ovulating a week later on (Feb. 21). I decided to test early because I was still confused about when I ovulated. At 8dpo I got a faint positive on a Dollar Tree Test, but no other tests since look positive (although the new weird FRERs are playing tricks with me). But I was really feeling I was pregnant and would get a bfp when I tested again this weekend. Then yesterday at 11dpo I started bleeding and today, at 12 dpo, AF definitely seems to be here.

So, Today I'm frustrated:

I charted for over a year as a form of family planning before ttc my son and conceived my son on the 3rd cycle we tried. I thought I knew charting and my body really well, but now I feel like I know nothing. This is the first time my LP has ever been less than 13 days (it is usually 14 - 15 days) and 10 days seems so short. I keep telling myself that I probably didn't ovulate or FF was just wrong about the date.

I guess I am just frustrated. It's hard to put so much hope into ttc when I have breastfeeding and a recent mc making my cycles unusual. It is also hard knowing I've been trying for almost 8 months, even if some of those cycles weren't viable attempts (thinking my first two pp cycles and maybe post-mc cycle were anovulatory). I need to think of cycles not months, but it's hard, especially when I watch my pregnant friends and own son grow as the time passes.

But, I am also ready for a new cycle. I would really like to be pregnant by my son's 2nd birthday next month. Since my period came early, that could still happen. So, I'm moving forward with hope to the next cycle.


Thanks for reading!


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Here is my chart: 15871f Ovulation Charts

Here is my ttc#2 time line:

First pp period: July 27 (25 months with no period thanks to ecological bfing)
cycle #1: July 27- September 10
cycle #2: September 11 - October 10
cycle #3: October 11 - November 13
cycle #4: BFP December 20 (at 17dpo)
Miscarriage December 22 - December 27 (no d&c)
cycle #5: Dec. 22 - Jan. 28
cycle #6: Jan. 29 - March 3
cycle #7: March 4

Oh man, that is a book! But I feel much more positive after putting it out there.

[Im.Nayomi]

hey there, I am sending you baby also are you familiar with
Ovulation Calendar and Ovulation Chart - Fertility Charting ? its a great resorce when trying to conceive. I hope you get un frusterated very soon.