[angel3y35]

I guess I should start one of these. Very short background. I'm 28 and was diagnosed with PCOS about 8 months ago and endo 10 years ago. I've had three laps. Two were to remove endo. The last was to remove endo and repair a hydrosalpinx. We finally got pregnant on our 16th cycle TTC (about 18 months because of the long PCOS cycles). It was my first cycle on Clomid and 3rd cycle after lap. I finally started m/c last night. I have never felt pain like that before. I didn't think anything could be worse than my period cramps with endo. I paced inside and outside for around 4 hours. I was taking Loratab 7.5 every 3 1/2 hours. I was still crying and screaming (into my pillow so DH wouldn't hear me). The pain finally eased off about 1 am but I'm still taking a pain pill every 4 hours. The pain starts back at about the 2 hour mark but is manageable. I'm a little concerned because the bleeding didn't start until around 6 last night and has almost stopped already. It wasn't that heavy either. We'll see how it goes and I'll mention it when I go in for my follow up beta Wednesday.

I'm sad and heartbroken by our loss but am very ready to get back TTC. This loss has made me realize just how much I want a baby. Luckily DH only wants what is best for me and is tough because I keep asking him if we can try this month even though the doctor said to wait one cycle In about a month and a half I'll be starting my second round of Clomid and hoping it works just as well as this past one did but results in a sticky bean!!! Between now and then I'm going to do everything possible to make my body as healthy as possible. Even though I know it's not true, part of me blames myself for losing the baby. I drank a lot of caffeine the first two weeks, didn't eat healthy, wasn't taking my vitamins, got drunk the night before I O'd because I was surrounded by kids at a BBQ and just "knew" I was never going to be pregnant, I'm over weight...... So cutting way back on the caffeine, taking vitamins every day, no excessive alcohol consumption, eating healthy, cutting out a lot of sugar....