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Lindsey's TTC journey (Lindsey2000k)


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  #1  
April 27th, 2011, 09:39 AM
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I figure since I have been a very active member here since last November.
So here is my story up to date and I plan to try and keep this up.... might be a good thing for me to get my feelings out even if no one ever reads it.

Oct 2002 I meet & started dating DH we were both 20 years old.
Our relationship moved very quick at first. He was living with me with in 3 weeks. The next year he bought a house and we both moved out of my apartment into his house.
Well at that point things slowed down to just dating for the next 4 years.

July 2006 OPPS my period had been absent for over 5 weeks now. This was nothing new to me but I took a HPT because in the past it always seem to make A/F show. Well SURPRISE I was pregnant. Because my periods were so irregular a DR thought I may have PCOS and would need MA to get pregnant so we were not very careful.
The next day we went and got an engagement ring and THEN told our parents. I did not have health insurance so we decided to rush a wedding and picked a date less than 3 weeks away.
About a week later I was spotting brown but had not cramping. Everyone I talked to said its "normal" and not to worry since it is not red and i don't have cramps. So I tried to ignore it. The Monday before the wedding DH's grandmother passed away and my spotting turned to more period type bleeding. I called my OB and the receptionist told me they would not make an appointment for me because at this point there is nothing they can do and if the bleeding gets bad I need to go to the ER. I was not going to take that as an answer so I found another office and they got me in with in 45 minutes of my phone call. Since I did not have insurance and little money the DR said lets do this the cheap way and just do Beta's. I do not remember what the betas were around 500 and dropping and I should have been getting close to 8 weeks along. The DR confirmed I was having a miscarriage and that night the bleeding got very heavy and I passed large clots. The DR followed me to the desk on the way out and said no charge for the visits or the blood work... I was so impressed. So we still got married that Saturday, It sucks that my memory of my wedding and honey moon are of a miscarriage. The DR I saw was a older DR and told me to wait 6 months and put me on birth control for people with low hormones.

During that 6 month break I quit smoking and lost 15 pounds. We also decided it was a good time to buy a new house. Our first month in the new house I quit birth control to get ready to TTC.

March 2007 I got my first non birth control cycle and I used OPK's. Well we got pregnant!!! At 5 weeks I had some bleeding and went in for a ultrasound. There was a sac, fetal pole but no heartbeat. I was told to come back in 2 weeks. That was the longest 2 weeks of my life, plus my grandmother passed away (starting to notice a pattern with people in our family passing away in my early pregnancy). 2 weeks later have my follow up ultrasound and the baby was measuring right on track and there was a heartbeat! The rest of my pregnancy went perfect. I ended up swapping to a new DR because the other way retired right before I got pregnant again. I had a great pregnancy but the birth was pretty traumatic and the DR ended up being awful during delivery. December 4th 2007 we welcomed Madison Ann into the world.



So for the next 2 and a half years I enjoyed being a mommy and started my own business.


July 2010 I weaned Madison from Breastfeeding.
Sept 2010... Uh oh Period is over 5 weeks late again and I feel like CRAP. Made a DR appointment with my family DR. 1 hour before the appointment something inside me clicked and I took a pregnancy test. PREGNANT.
That Monday I called this new mid wive/OB office that I had heard so many wonderful things about. I told them my history and they said no need to come in early since I only had 1 loss and a live birth since, they will see me at 9 weeks. I go in for my visit and all seems normal. I kept telling my friends how un pregnant I feel. I was not sick nor tired. I told the mid wive this and she said well maybe its a boy because we react different to different pregnancy's. She then went on to do the ultrasound... she kept looking and was quite. She said I am not seeing any fetal movement or cardiac activity I was supposed to be 9 weeks even and baby measured 8w1d. She sent me to another office to get a second opinion and it was confirmed. I am a wedding photographer and had 5 weddings in the next 4 weeks and 6 other types of shoots so I was triffid to just wait it out and did the D&C the next morning (Oct 6th 2010).

Oct 2010- I started using OPKs because I wanted a heads up on when my period might show. I got a positive and decided why waste it and we TTC. I had my D&C follow up Nov 4th and the DR said you want a blood test so you don't have to wait... Of course I said YES. It was negative though

Nov 2010- First period came and it was long and strong. What a slap in the face that you are not pregnant. I used OPKS and we DTD on all the right times according to the OPKS. BFN

December 2010- I started charting for the first time and along with OPK's pinned down my O date and 9DPO ... BFP.
12dpo- 82 hcg 28 prog
14 dpo- 366 29.5 prog
Jan 19th- first ultrasound (showed sac but no baby) Dr said to early not to worry
Jan 31st -second ultrasound (showed baby, and a heartbeat)
Feb 23rd- 10 week prenatal visit. I told Midwife something does not feel right and before we start the hour worth of paper work could we please check for a heartbeat. She used the Doppler and no heartbeat. She got the DR to do a ultrasound and he confirmed no heart beat and baby stopped growing 8w5d.

I choose to wait it out because D&C's are way to expensive and DR said to many can be a bad thing and mess up my fertility even more.
Feb 25th I decided to try the pills to force miscarriage, but they did not work
March 7th, had another ultrasound to check progress of miscarriage. At this appointment we also talked for over an hour and was diagnosed with PCOS. He also ran more blood work on me.
March 17th tried another and stronger round of the pill to force miscarriage and this time it worked. I passed the sac with the baby still inside.
March 24th- follow up ultrasound to make sure all was clear and no D&C needed. Since my uterus was all clear he ran more clotting panels on me.
march 31st- Dr phoned me himself to break the news that I have MTHFR and 1 copy of each mutation and will need a shot a day next pregnancy.

I started temping and using OPKS after the loss and not sure if they were correct or not but I think I am about 12-15 DPO and BFN. So now I am waiting on my first A/F after loss to show.


If you read this whole thing sorry it was so long I had years of TTC to catch up on.
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  #2  
April 28th, 2011, 12:06 PM
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Still no A/F.
Took a IC this morning and saw a faint line... so I took a FRER.
Waiting on blood results. This is going to be a long 24 hours.
On a 4 hour pee hold right now and going to go pee on some more sticks and hope to get a + on a digi to ease my mind.

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  #3  
April 29th, 2011, 12:10 PM
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Had blood taken yesterday and HCG was 12 Progest was 5.2
Not looking so good.
I have to go back tomorrow (on a Saturday) to the lab and do more blood work and will find out Monday morning if this is left over HCG or a new pregnancy.
If its a new pregnancy I have a bad feeling about it with the progestrone being this low.

Now I see why they tell you to wait at least one cycle.
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  #4  
May 1st, 2011, 06:28 PM
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I got this message from MyChart online from the on call DR.
"LindseyYour blood levels are rising, but they are very low. Repeat blood work next week after 5/2/2011."

I am a little upset because he did not even mention what the numbers were.
I also think if they are rising then I should be on progestrone if that is still low.

Calling in the morning to fight with the nurses again.... wish I could just talk right to my DR because he does what ever I ask.
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  #5  
May 2nd, 2011, 08:57 AM
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Called in this morning my HCG was 27 & Prog was 6.5
So the numbers are going up.
Tonight I start Lovenox shots and Progestrone.
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  #6  
May 14th, 2011, 07:17 AM
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Well my numbers ended up going up to 1258 on May 9th. So they put me down for a ultrasound for May 20th and stopped the blood draws.

May 12th I woke up feeling like I had a bladder infection. I called the DR office and the nurse said probably just everything stretching and with back to back pregnancy's I may just be noticing it more. As the day went on I started having bright red blood and the pain was getting worse. By this time the office was closed so I called the On call and she told me to stay off my feet and call first thing in the morning and tell them I need a ultrasound asap.
May 13th WOW pain has now moved all the way up to my rib cages and down to my butt, but strongest pain on my right side. I call the DR office and they get me in right away. Dr starts doing the ultrasound and sees nothing in my uterus. So he starts looking for my ovaries in my right ovary he says he thinks I have a Corpus luteum cyst and starts looking at my tube. He did not see anything large in it but can see something. He went on to look at the left side and couldn't not find my left ovary??? What does this mean? but he ended up finding it. This ultrasound was the most painful thing I have ever had to endure the nurse was holding my hand to help me get through the pain.
He had me sit up and then said you have 2 options.
1. You can have surgery asap we go in laproscopic and make 2 holes on your sides and your belly button. You still have a chance of losing your tube this way but you know for certain the pregnancy is removed.
2. We can give you a shot and it should dissolve the pregnancy. There is no 100% chance this will work and you could still end up in surgery or losing a tube anyway.

I said ok straight up if this was you with your knowledge what would you do? He said the shot because its less invasive but he only offers it to compliant patients and since I have always done everything he asked out of me in the past he sees no reason why I would not make a good candidate for the shot. Because of the type of drug it is you have to go the the hospital and get admitted and they have to draw blood to check on your liver. Also only a DR can give this shot because of laws, This is viewed as an abortion so the DR who diagnosed you or DR in that office is supposed to be the one to give you a shot. So I have to wait for 2 extra hours because I guess they were trying to get a hold of the DR. Finally MY Dr shows up, earlier he told me he was going out of town and someone else would come to give me the shot. I asked him if I was holding him up and he told me not to worry about and because I have been through so much with him he did not want to send some strange DR to give me the this shot.

I just have to say how much I love my DR. Sometimes his nurses totally suck when I call in but when I am dealing right with him he is so wonderful.

DR told me things are going to get worse before the get better and gave me oxycodone for the pain. He said days 3-4 will be the worst so that really scares me. I am still not out of the clear and if the pain gets to bad, I pass out, or start vomiting I need to go to the hospital ASAP.
Every Tuesday I will be going in for HCG and if its dropping that means the meds worked. He is going to follow me all the way down to zero.



So I have decided to give my body a 2 month break and wait until July cycle to TTC again. I was going to wait in the first place because If I am not to pregnant next Feb I can get a free trip to Florida with my parents So I am going to to wait so I can get treated with the Florida trip and maybe give my poor body a little break. I always wanted a spring baby so maybe this was lifes way or making that happen for me?
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  #7  
May 14th, 2011, 06:10 PM
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I'm so sorry Lindsey...I think Erin said it best, but it just stinks...
I'm glad they found it early enough that they thought the shot would work - hope that it does, and glad that your wonderful DR was there to be with you at this time...

Here is to spring babies...oh, and I'm in Florida, so you can drop by and visit me
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  #8  
May 14th, 2011, 06:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fromustobaby View Post
I'm so sorry Lindsey...I think Erin said it best, but it just stinks...
I'm glad they found it early enough that they thought the shot would work - hope that it does, and glad that your wonderful DR was there to be with you at this time...

Here is to spring babies...oh, and I'm in Florida, so you can drop by and visit me
Thanks hun,
I hate that we had to meet this way but I feel like I found a great friend I dont know how I would manage with out all the great ladies on here.
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  #9  
May 14th, 2011, 07:36 PM
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Lindsey, I am hurting so bad for you, and I am not even going through what you are going through right now. Stay strong and know that we are here for you.
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  #10  
May 17th, 2011, 10:21 AM
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Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you!
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  #11  
May 17th, 2011, 10:43 AM
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Thanks.
I am doing tons better today. I hope that means the shot worked.
Just found out my hospital bill and really not happy with that. $1081.44 just to walk in and get a stupid shot.

I am mentaly doing well with this I new from day 1 something was not right so I think It kept me from getting hurt.
Still waiting to see what I am supposed to do next. I had a metablic panel ran this morning and HGC so waiting on those results.


Now I am just scared to try again. I never want to go through this again. This is totally different than a typical miscarriage.
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  #12  
May 17th, 2011, 07:05 PM
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So glad that mentally it wasnt as hard, so sorry that physically and monetarily that it was...

Hope that you heal well...
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  #13  
May 19th, 2011, 06:32 AM
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As of tuesday HCG was 1992.
They did a full metabolic panel and have flagged my ALT(SGPT) as very high at 90. I guess they don't want it over 60 according to my chart. Waiting on them to call me and let me know if it means anything or not.
I feel like every day the bleeding keeps getting heavier. I am not sure what is supposed to be the normal with an ectopic. I don't think I bleed this heavy for this long with my regular miscarriages though.
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  #14  
May 19th, 2011, 08:41 AM
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hope it stops soon...have you called your DR to ask about it...
How fast are you filling up pads? I think the 1 pad per 2 hours is when you need to call in...

Maybe because of the blood thinners, you are bleeding more...
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  #15  
May 19th, 2011, 08:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fromustobaby View Post
hope it stops soon...have you called your DR to ask about it...
How fast are you filling up pads? I think the 1 pad per 2 hours is when you need to call in...

Maybe because of the blood thinners, you are bleeding more...
I am not really wearing pads. But I am having to change a regular tampon about every 1-2 hours. Yesterday morning I bleed through it in 45 mins but that was right after I woke up so I think the blood was pooled up.
I have been off the blood thinners for a week now so I dont think its effecting things anymore. From what I understand the blood thinners are out of your system in about 24 hours.
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  #16  
May 20th, 2011, 08:57 AM
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Posting an update on whats going on.
Made a call into my DR office to get some questions answered.

Q.How long and much should I be bleeding?
A. Should not be heavier than a heavy period and could last weeks

Q.What is my risk of another ectopic
A. Normal risk is 13% but since you had the Metho shot yours is 6-8%

Q. How long do you advise someone to wait to TTC again?
A. 2 cycles

Q. I have no clue what to expect or what I am supposed to do?
A. You will need HCG until you are zero and the DR wants to do a HSG once you are down to zero.



Hubby called me this morning and I got the "when is enough enough" speach. My last D&C we still owe $500.00 on, last Friday was $1081.00 just to walk into the hospital and get a shot, and now they want to do an HSG which is another hospital procedure. I called the hospital to see how much that will cost us... I bet $3000.00.
I am just so pissed off that this freak accident ectopic might be my last chance? I never really got a real chance to give a real pregnancy a shot with the lovenox shots and now DH wants to just go get a V done because he cant handle spending so much money on this. He thinks its never going to happen and we are going to be 10's of thousands in debt with no baby.

I just don't know what to do anymore. Last summer I was happy with just 1 child and then got accidently pregnant and BAM I realized that I would really like another baby.
I guess I have a couple months to think about it... well maybe less because if hubby is done and gets a V done there is no point in wasting the money on a HSG.
Today is the first time I broke down and cried since this whole thing happen. I just feel I am being punsihed for some reason.
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  #17  
May 20th, 2011, 12:15 PM
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I'm so sorry...I hope that he sits down and you can talk further about what you both want together before doing anything so extreme...
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  #18  
May 21st, 2011, 09:43 AM
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So this morning I have been cramping.... I just went to the bathroom and there was alot of blood and some clots and then what I think may have been the baby or sac?

I hope this means things will start to slow down with the bleeding and not an indication that something is wrong. I am leaving town for 2 days here in about an hour so I hope it slows down.
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  #19  
May 22nd, 2011, 08:20 PM
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I'm so sorry Lindsey...I hope your bleeding slows (at least) soon...
and that this means that the medicine was a success...
thinking of you...
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  #20  
May 25th, 2011, 06:18 AM
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HCG has gone from 1992 to 561 in a week. DR said before that he wanted to see at least a 50% drop each week. So I hope this means the shot worked and I am in the clear now.

It was recomended that I have a HSG done and I am not 100% sure about it.
I guess I need to find out what my risk is if I do not get it done. My fear is my insurance company is going to view it as fertility treatment and not cover it.
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