Tonya's Journal

fromustobaby · #41 June 8th, 2011, 12:32 PM

wrote huge long thing about what a bad day I am having, and went to submit and it froze and erased it...dont feel like writing it out again, so I'll just say bad days suck!

fromustobaby · #42 June 9th, 2011, 10:43 AM

+ OPK today, but barely positive and EWCM is nothing compared to what it was on the 2 cycles I got pregnant...so, we will try, but I'm not expecting anything just based on my experience..at least it is an early O for me...

fromustobaby · #43 June 9th, 2011, 04:45 PM

Beware for a bit of negativity below:
I got a + OPK today, but it is BARELY positive...on the two cycles that I've gotten pregnant, I had a blaringly positive OPK.. .

not to mention that my EWCM is thick (wheres my RObitussin when I need it!!) and not that plentiful (compared to my pregnant cycles - I compare everything to them)...

AND, on top of that, I think I'm Oing from my right side (based on O pains) and both my pregnant cycles was left side pain (when I had my HSG, my right side was a crazy curly and long fallopian tube, the left side was short and straight and perfect)...

Needless to say, I'm not holding out much hope for this cycle, though we are trying...

But, I should be Oing on CD21, which is awesome for me on a natural cycle...
and, not getting it this cycle saves us a lot of money, cause insurance coverage starts on July 1 (have to conceive after July 1)...
And, this cycle would mean that the baby would have almost the same due date as Kaiden, and that wouldnt be as fun for Kaiden...

All that being said, would LOVE to catch it this cycle...but, am preparing for it not happening...

fromustobaby · #44 June 10th, 2011, 04:45 PM

Very positive OPK this morning, isnt that weird? My OPK is almost always lighter the second day...
And O pains on my good side...
Hoping to O tonight, but if not, then hoping Kaiden takes a good nap tomorrow so that we can get in one more good BD...

lindsey2000k · #45 June 10th, 2011, 04:51 PM

Good luck!
Hope you catch that eggie.

fromustobaby · #46 June 11th, 2011, 07:42 PM

BD timing wasnt as perfect as I'd hoped thanks to a little boy who decided that he didnt want a nap today, but it is what it is and we definitely have a chance this cycle...I am Oing today so hopefully temp will jump tomorrow...

fromustobaby · #47 June 12th, 2011, 07:14 AM

yep, Oed yesterday, FF is wrong, but it'll fix itself when I have 2 more high temps...our timing wasnt half bad, so here's hoping

Lyz · #48 June 14th, 2011, 11:41 AM

I am just now reading this and cracking up (at some of it, sad for you on others....I totally know how you feel) because this is exactly how my journal would read if I was doing it

Really hope you are preggo this month!

chloe12 · #49 June 14th, 2011, 07:13 PM

Just popping in here Tonya, I think of you often and felt your grief with you. I'm MIA for the next little bit because of how busy things are in our house (posted on our DDC). I will be checking your journal for your BFP that is around the corner!

carpediem · #50 June 15th, 2011, 05:54 PM

I've been checking in on you too. I really hope this is the cycle for you!!

fromustobaby · #51 June 15th, 2011, 06:10 PM

thanks for coming to visit me Lyz, Chloe, and Tasha...I often feel like I'm a bit alone over here...

there is really nothing much to say about the cycle right now, no matter what symptoms I have (dont have any), its not like they are pregnancy symptoms - its just too early...so, I just sit and wait...

Last time around, on 6-7DPO I had very noticeable uterine cramps (though I didnt with my Kaiden cycle)...I somehow *knew* at that point that I was pregnant, even though I didnt say it out loud to anyone...so, I'll just wait till Friday/Saturday/Sunday and hope I get some vibe one way or another...

My OB is letting me get a progesterone draw on Friday (but results arent till MOnday)...if they are over 10, that means a decent O...if under, then I will probably start on something to spur a bigger eggie sooner...judging by my temps which are very similar to my Kaiden cycle, my guess is that it will be around 10 exactly (Kaiden was 10.1, M/C was 13.5)...

Dont know how I am feeling...

Today was a good and bad day...
Matt was out of town, and Kaiden woke up late and was wonderful all day long - and he ate great...raisin bread/eggs/oatmeal/blueberries for breakfast, Quorn (vegegarian chicken) and broccoli for lunch, black beans and quinoa for dinner, strawberries for dessert...and he actually ate so much...the secret - I didnt give him any milk in the morning, so he only got milk 2x today (before his nap and before sleep)...did I mention, HE WAS SO GOOD!!!

Bad was that I found out that one of the kids that I had in my class 5 years ago died yesterday...I had one other kid die (3 years ago), that kid, I was very close to, and it was suicide, so it was just beyond beyond heartbreaking...this one, I wasnt close to, but he was a really nice kid, it is still so sad - he was only 19 years old...I cant even imagine the pain of that...

Anyway, Matt is back, I need a shower, and he needs a snuggle...heres hoping that I get some uterus cramps to make me happy soon...

fromustobaby · #52 June 16th, 2011, 05:06 PM

Well, I got final approval for BCBS with maternity, so thats good...I can officially conceive after July 1, and have 90% coverage...

As for PG symptoms, I am having none...bbs arent sore, no uterine cramps, just feel empty (with Kaiden, I got very sore bbs at around 6-7 DPO, but never had **that** feeling...with my loss, I had very obvious uterine cramps at 6-7 DPO and I almost knew that I was pregnant before I saw the line because they were so distinctive)...

It is "better" that I dont get pregnant this month, and I'm trying to convince myself of that every other minute, but it is so so hard when you want it so bad...just trying to be negative and prepare myself for disappointment...

fromustobaby · #53 June 17th, 2011, 10:34 PM

Good good day today...
1. Had birthday party for one of Kaiden's friends...I took the camera, and so far, everyone loves the pictures and other people want me to take pics for them

2. Matt and the never ending job saga...in brief, I want to stay here, and he wants a job anywhere...he had an interview in NYC this week for a job in Korea (I dont want that)...but today, his supervisor told him about a *real* job opening up at the university, and he's the only internal applying - which means that he should get it - AND it has health care - HOORAY!! And, it starts in September

3. I got my progesterone draw with my new insurance (I cant get pregnant before July 1 with it, BUT I can have a progesterone draw!) instead of my old one that doesnt cover maternity, so instead of costing $87, it was free...YEAH!

4. The boy was in an amazingly good mood today, I LOVE good mood days, he was just smiling and laughing all day long, LOVE!! He did wake up once tonight but I think thats because his molars are coming in, and I gave him big cuddles and he went right back to bed...so, hoping he stays asleep for a while...

I'm still having no cramping (or should I say, I had about 10 seconds of similar cramping - as I was driving in the middle of a severe thunderstorm, after eating a ton of veggie chili - long story short - I think it was probably gas!), and no sore BBs...given that, I dont think I'm pregnant...but the birthday party gave me a bit of perspective...the girl was born in June, and they had had a miscarriage beforehand...well, that girl is perfect, even if it is a few months down the road...

fromustobaby · #54 June 18th, 2011, 04:47 PM

I have very pre-AF liquid stuff moving around heaviness (but not light bubbly cramps like when I was PG) down there...and my temp dropped like a rock this morning (it would have been even more of a drop, but yesterday I was up at 4:30 - and temped then - cause I had to pee)...I have no idea...

Bummed none the less...

Acupuncture lady wasnt being the most helpful, I definitely dont think that she felt any pregnancy anything based on what she was saying, but I wish she would say a lot more about what she is doing and why...

Kaiden was great today though, and the day flew by cause Matt took Kaiden in the morning and let me sleep till 11am (he's so awesome

)...tomorrow, I take Kaiden all day so that he can catch up on what he needs to catch up on...

Micksbabe · #55 June 18th, 2011, 05:50 PM

Tonya, I read your journal, just don't post much but wanted to let you know you aren't alone over here

I hate feeling like I am getting af, but you aren't out until she shows!!!

fromustobaby · #56 June 19th, 2011, 09:43 PM

Hey Megan...
Thanks, but when I have the AF feeling AND a temp like I did this morning, and BBs that arent sore...etc.etc...well, it means that its on to next cycle...hope we can both take it by storm...

I was in a terrible mood today because of my temperature, I was getting pissed off when I shouldnt and just in general not being as nice to Matt as I should have been, I feel bad about it...but I just hate that I'm not feeling my acupuncture lady, and I'm having an 8 day LP, and I just am not feeling like my body is working right even when I'm doing all these things to try to make it work perfectly...

Am wearing a pad tonight cause I think AF will be here in the morning...

lindsey2000k · #57 June 20th, 2011, 06:21 AM

Chart stalking you.... so I see that dip then spike in temps again... I hope its a implantation dip

With the baby I lost before the ectopic I had a dip like that and then the next 2 mornings later got my BFP.

fromustobaby · #58 June 20th, 2011, 07:15 AM

I took an IC this morning...it was completely negative...I'm really not feeling it this cycle, I feel like AF will be here soon...
PS-Looks like you got your temp spike today!

lindsey2000k · #59 June 20th, 2011, 07:26 AM

Well I hope your A/F feeling is wrong.

My temp spkie has me a little excited we BD last night so I hope I got it on the right time. I am hoping it means I might have had a good strong ovulation. I was having twinges on my left side so I hope that means I Oed from that side since the ectopic was on the right.

Micksbabe · #60 June 20th, 2011, 07:29 AM

I am sorry Tonya

It sucks ttcal, especially when you sit there and go I would be so many weeks right now. I hope that it isn't af, I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

I feel like I am doing everything to fix my body to and nothing is working. I am taking 8 pills a day, drinking wheatgrass (which is just like drinking grass

) and taking royal jelly. Plus I only get to try every second cycle because mick is in australia for a month at a time

Hopefully we will both get our bfp's soon and maybe we can be in the same due date club together.

Have you been taking anything to lengthen your LP? Have you tried Royal Jelly?? I have been taking it this cycle and I think I might be ovulating earlier.

As for the acupunturist, is there any other one close to you? Or is she your only option? I have been doing acupuncture for the past two weeks (today is my 3rd session) but my lady is amazing, she even lent me the book (I think you were talking about) the infertility cure. I hope you can find a new acupunturist, because it would probably work better if you were in sync.

I agree with Lindsay, it could be an implantation dip or was your LP short before Kaiden?