[OnceUponAtrip]

I’m lurker…. I have been reading your stories for a while and I have decided it is time for me to introduce myself.

In 1991 I had a son who was stillborn at 28 weeks. I had no problems in the pregnancy. When I went in for a routine appointment there was no heartbeat. The next day I was induced. The autopsy provided no clues as to what had happened. As hard as it was, I was young (a month shy of 20), and in my heart I just accepted it as Gods way of saying it just was not meant to be.

Forward a few years to 1997. Several friends are having babies and I feel like my heart has healed enough to try again. I ended up with a normal pregnancy and a healthy baby boy.

About a year later we decided that the following year I would leave my teaching job to stay home so we decide to try for another baby while I still have insurance. This pregnancy made me very nervous because the baby did not move very much. I went in pretty often and was hooked up to a monitor to track movement. Finally I delivered a healthy baby girl in 1999. There was a knot in her umbilical cord but apparently it was not tight enough to restrict anything.

Well, two wonderful children and life is going great for us. Now in early 2011 no AF. Maybe menopause is starting? I am 39 after all. After I was a few days late I noticed I had tender breast so I took the pregnancy test. Sure enough it was positive. At first I was in shock and then worried. We decided since I was high risk not to tell anyone yet. I’m a teacher and did not want my students to know in case there was a loss. I figured I would not show until school was out so we keep it a secret from everyone but a handful of very close friends. Went to my regular OB/gyn. He was excited for me and tried to reassure me that I had two normal pregnancies and that everything should be fine. I was real worried about Down’s because of my age. I went to see a specialist and had genetic counseling. After meeting with both I decided not to have an amino but to rely on sonograms and blood work. First sonogram and everything looked great. All the first trimester blood work came back wonderful. Went in on June 10, Friday, for second sonogram and second trimester blood work. Sonogram again looked wonderful. The following Tuesday (I was on vacation with my two kids and hubby stayed at home working) I felt very little movement but figured it was the vacation and I wasn’t focused on the baby. So, on Wednesday I paid attention to movement. I had a few twitches but could not tell if it was me or the baby. Talked to hubby that night on the phone. We both felt like nothing was wrong because the sonogram was just 5 days earlier and it had been great. So I stay on vacation with my kids and Friday afternoon I get a call with my blood work results from the week before. Some of my numbers were higher than they should be and they want me to come in for another sonogram. Of course I have to wait over the weekend and go in on Monday. As soon as I hung up the phone my heart broke. I knew the lack of movement and the blood work would only result in a very bad outcome. Sunday we come home from vacation. Monday morning my hubby and I go back to the specialist for another sonogram. My fears were confirmed, no heartbeat. So, my doctor is out of town (of course) so I see another doctor and we decide to induce early Tuesday morning. On Tuesday afternoon, June 21, 2011, I delivery a precious baby boy at 21 weeks and 3 days. He has a small tumor on the back of his neck and his umbilical cord is twisted very, very tight. The doctor says it looks like he twisted it so tight it cut off the circulation. We were all devastated.

We were not planning this baby but we were very excited about it. So, after some discussion we have decided that we would try one more time. So, here I am… lurking for about 5 weeks now.
I’m not sure of the abbreviations so I’m sorry if I post this wrong… Started my period on Saturday, July 23. So, I’m in the 2 week window waiting for my ovulation which should be Saturday, August 6. My cycle has been regular in the past so for the first month or so we will base intercourse on my CM and not use the ovulation prediction kits.

Well, sorry that was so long… I guess I sorta have a history!

And THANK YOU for providing all of this support. People who have not been through a loss just don’t understand.

Shari

[lindsey2000k]

I'm so sorry for your losses and I hope you get your BFP really quick

[OnceUponAtrip]

Well.... I have looked at the calendar and counted days and recounted the days more the last few weeks than I have ever before! I think I am going to go crazy!

I should O on Saturday, August 6th. Well, that is if I am regular again... and who knows if I am or not!

So, just to be safe, we DTD last night, Wednesday Aug 3.

I was going to skip tonight (Thursday) and then do it again on Friday and Saturday.

Now, I'm thinking (and looking at the calendar) and thinking we might just do it tonight and Frid/Sat too! I would hate to miss the big O because we skipped a day!

OKay... I know I'm thinking about this WAY tooooo much!

Shari

[OnceUponAtrip]

Got a good sign today....

Tomorrow (according to my old cycle) I should O. Well I usually start to have sticky CM a day or two before I O. I kept checking for it today and finally this afternoon it started to appear. So, I feel pretty good about being close to Oing. I might actually O on Sunday instead of Saturday, but that is okay... As long as I O!

So, I'm going to stick with our plan to DTD Fri and Saturday... then depending on the texture of my CM on Saturday I might add Sunday to our list of days. I'm sure DH wont mind

I'm feeling good about this!

[OnceUponAtrip]

Well, AF showed up yesterday. No surprise. I have been testing since 8 DPO and was getting BFN every time. I have to say that my heart was just broken. I really thought it would only take a few cycles to get pregnant.

The past few days I have been reading about taking soy. So I think I"m going to try it this cycle. I bought some at Walmart yesterday along with my AF supplies. It made me feel (emotionally) a little better when I was checking out. I feel like it is going to give me some hope this cycle.

Some now I will be taking my folic acid, omega 3 DHA and soy.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long month!