[sweet.hun]

June 28, 2006

I got my period! Amazing how after a miscarriage you constantly think each month that your pregnant.

Anyways, I went and got my nails done today. I go to this salon called Felisha's which is just 2 seconds from my house. The owner basically does everything. She sees her customers on a one on one basis! It's awesome, and I talked to her about a facial. She set me up with an appointment on July 5th for a deluxe facial with a blueberry peal for free. She also told me about this line she's involved in called CosMedix (www.cosmedix.com) which basically cleared her skin up. And let me tell you, she has georgeous skin! The philosophy is that you cleans from the inside first and then work on the outside. The stuff is pretty expensive, but boy...if I'm going to see results like that (along with loosing some added weight after I miscarried) I'll be well on my way to being happier! We'll see just how much it really works.

Sorry about dumb AF coming and that statement about how after a miscarriage you think your pg every month, I was so like that. I didnt even ovulate the first 2 mos after my miscarriage and I thought I was pg how bad is that!?!? The facial sounds really nice, there isnt any place around me that does it or I would deff get one as well! Glad you got your nails done we once in a while have to do something for ourselves!

[sweet.hun]

I haven't updated in a while. I feel almost like I shouldn't be posting here because in a way, we aren't really TTC. We're just sort of "letting things happen" or not...it's hard to explain.

My temperatures were so out of whack lately and I had to work midnights, so I'm not holding out much hope for this cycle. I felt some tightness in my stomach last night along with some weird cramping pains on my left side. Which, I've never felt those there. I've only felt them on the right side from when I was last pregnant and now they are always there. Reminding me that I was indeed pregnant once and now I'm not.

I feel sad. I should be coming close to my 33 week. The Sept. DDC has ` or 2 babies already and I'm sitting here pining over the little one that I lost. It's hard to read about how people are becoming pregnant. I'm happy for them, but it reminds me everyday that I'm not. I'm jealous. Extremely jealous and I want to be pregnant again. If I'm not pregnant this month, then I'm loosing out hope. I feel like if this isn't it, then I'm not going to be pregnant for a long time.

My poas addiction doesnt help either. Every time I take a ###### HPT test, it breaks my heart. I just want to scream sometimes. Even my OPK tests let me down this month!

Hey hun I am sorry for everything. I still have times I feel jelous when I hear someone else get a BFP and not me and my baby should be 3-4 mos old now. Its hard but dont give up when you do get your BFP it will be so much sweeter for you because of all of the trying you were doing before that. (((HUGS)))