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  #1  
May 16th, 2012, 03:19 PM
bellasky's Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,397
First my story:
I found out on December 28th, 2010 that I was pregnant with my first child. I was so excited and so was my husband. I got on the internet and looked up everything I could. I called my family and let them know. My mom and sister took me shopping for maternity clothes and baby clothes. I came home and showed my husband the baby clothes and he got emotional. It was our baby.
I went to work (as a teacher) and told my closest friends there about it. They were all excited for me. Losing the baby was never something that crossed my mind.

I went back to work on January 4th. The second day back at work I noticed bleeding and went to the nurse's office. She told me to go to the ER so I had someone drive me. By that time I was having sharp cramps in my lower abdomen. The doctors did tests and sonograms, took blood, observed me. They didn't know what to think.
I had been having cramps previously as if I was going to start my period but I didn't think anything of it. I was about 6 weeks along at this point.
I went home and the next day there was blood. So I went to the ER and the doctor took more blood and did an exam. He noticed the blood and some clots and sent me right over to an OBGYN.
The OBGYN did a sonogram, turned the monitor to me and my husband and showed us our baby. Our precious little one. Growing in my right fallopian tube. Our baby did not survive and the only way to take her was to have surgery.
I went in for surgery the next day and had my right fallopian tube removed.

We lost our baby one year and four months ago. We just started trying again last month.

Month two and here comes AF. It's so hard. I hate going through Mother's Day without a baby in my arms. I hate telling my students that I don't have any children because I don't want to go through the explanation as to how we lost our child.

It's the most difficult thing God has ever asked me to do.

I will start charting my temps this month. I know that it's going to take us longer because I can only get pregnant if I ovulate on the left side. I wish there was a way to know which side I'm ovulating from.

On the bright side, only 6 days of school left.

Last edited by bellasky; June 20th, 2012 at 01:47 PM.
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  #2  
June 7th, 2012, 04:07 PM
bellasky's Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,397
Month three of TTC and I'm hopeful (but then again what's new!). Trying not to count days or symptoms and just relax.
Get tired of my family making comments when I bring up my daughter in heaven like "It's okay to remember but you have to move on". What is that supposed to mean? I will do what I want with the memory and feelings I have of my child. If that means I want to talk about my child then I will. It's like they don't want to think about the child that is not around. It feels like they don't want to acknowledge that I had a baby growing in me that none of us will see here on this earth. It hurts me.
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  #3  
June 12th, 2012, 05:47 AM
bellasky's Avatar Blessed
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Posts: 1,397
Got my BFP yesterday and couldn't be more thrilled. Finally experiencing nausea, sore boobs, and frequent urination! So happy to go through all of it. Keep praying that I get to keep this one.
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  #4  
June 20th, 2012, 01:09 PM
bellasky's Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,397
It was a chemical. God loves my babies so much that He keeps them. I will get to keep one some day though.
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