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Well,I started TTC on the 25th of July..its not been very long I know,but since I started I suddenly feel stressed out,worried,scared,and my sex drive has almost totally disapeered which makes BDing very different.
I keep reading about people who are taking years to conceive,things that could go wrong..etc,and all I seem to be doing is stressing and wondering if taking BCP for 7 years has ruined my chances of being a mommy again.Im worried I wont ovulate,worried that my body has forgotten how to work,and worried about worrying...Its not the way I imagined to feel when I started,but I cant help it.
I decided that I wasnt going to think about TTC,that Id just stop taking the pill,BD a whole lot,and hope that it would happen...Im just glad Im not temping or taking OPK´s because if I had to keep reminding my self that I REALLY want this by doing that every day,I think Id go crazy!!
Is it me or do the days literally drag along once you are TTC? lol
Im hoping and praying that I get my BFP soon.TTC makes life very intense..
I took an OPK today..my last one,and it was positive! Im hoping to catch this eggie!! I had some pink CM yesturday and Iv been cramping on and off for a couple of weeks,so maybe my body IS still working after 7 years of vacation due to BCP! lol.
Im of to BD just to make sure..I dont want to look back and think that I missed the eggie..wish me luck!
Wow,I just found this and I almost felt sick when I read my last post...look,I even thought I O´d.It felt like I was reading someone elses journal,because the girl who wrote that was so positive and exited..where is she??
Since then so much has changed..back when I started this journal,I had a totally positive outlook on TTC,and I just asumed everything would go smoothly..but here I am,8 months after writing this,and nothing good has happened TTC wise.
My life has changed SO much in these months.I have been to different doctors,Iv tried different treatments,iv taken everyones advice,Iv tried all those little things people said worked for them etc..and nothing has worked.
The people I know comment on how great it must be to not worry about getting pregnant,and that I already have 2 kids to be thankful for so I should just forget about this bla bla bla..People are SO hurtful,and they have a nasty habbit of going on about something even when they know it bothers you.I feel like asking them what they would feel like if suddenly they did want a child (even though they already had one/two) and found that they couldent..would the advice they gave me apply to them too? Would it not matter? Would they feel lucky to be infertile? Would they actually think themselfs fortunate to not have to worry about getting pregnant again?
People should really learn to put them selfs in someone elses shoes before they open their big mouth and say something totally inadequate.
In these past 9 months,Iv prayed,Iv cried,Iv been angry,Iv been optimistic,Iv given up,Iv given in...in what state do I have to be for this to happen? What is there left for me to do? Did I miss something..is there something I didnt do??
I have been strong,but the weight of this is starying to smother me and I dont know how much loonger I can hold on...Im asking for a chance..please...
Edited at 16:50pm.
Well,I tested..and of course it was negative.Im fine with that,its not as if I was expecting to see two lines anyway.Now I feel ok about starting the metoformin (Dianben) and Im hoping it works and Im cautiosly exited.I would just be happy with shorter cycles..63 days (and counting) is just too long!
I know it may not work straight away,and although Im fine with that,I am a little disapointed about having to wait some more...
I guess this is it..here we go with a new set of meds and a little new found hope.Please let this work!!!....