[Emily!]

SOOOOOOOOOO. I'm up at 3:45 am. Wanna know why? Cuz my ***** back is hurting. My lower back. On the left side actually. Not like shooting pains. More like a constant profound ache. Sometimes going to my leg. Just enough to annoy the F! outta me. Yet another thing that bugs me about TTC. The only pain killers we have are ibuprofen and some excedrin concotion. Neither of which I can have if I'm pregnant.

Wait wait Is that the emoticon for miffed? Cuz that's how I feel right now. Miffed.

Because I am so pessimistic, I am insistent that the pain is caused from sitting in MY "groove" on our old futon (which we are getting rid of once we move!!!) and the stomach ache I had earlier was perhaps due to the fact that I had corned beef hash with eggs over medium for dinner (what? I love corned beef hash!). Some like to be optimistic. Me, I'll take pessimism any day. In cases like this, you are less likely to get let down. That's just me though. A true pessimist.

Thankfully that cold I had was only a 24 hour bug cuz I feel fine today. A bit of a stuffy nose, but when you have three cats that you're allergic to that's not a rareity by any means.

I got all misty tonight. Not to be all lame or anything but I was just thinking about how much I love my husband. How he'd do anything to make me happy. Which brought me to how much he melted the first time he met his niece (who was born Oct. 2nd). How when we saw her at Christmas a month after I m/c'd he melted again and got all googly. Saying "She'll have a little cousin before she knows it". Dang it I'm crying again. It amazes me that if he gets like that about his niece (who comes from parents that neither of us really care for) how great he'll be when/if we do have a child together. Mind you he has a daughter who is 11 who he absolutely adores; but like lots of people he just turns to jell-o around babies. I guess my only baby experience with him was our niece recently but it brings me to tears just thinking about it. Which is weird considering I don't cry often. It's just that he's such a mans man. You know; works on his car, meat and potatoes, "doesn't cry", and is very nonchalant about everything. Like, I cook him his favorite thing in the world and it's made perfectly and he'll be like, "it's pretty good". Of course this has been one of the things that has always annoyed me about him but he's all mine- faults and all. I'm one lucky girl.


I hate this. I hate feeling like this. I wish AF would just get here so I can take good medicine for my back and for when I get sick. I hate getting all mushy. I hate not being able to swear here (although it's probably for the best) cuz they'll just put #'s to cover up what I really wanna say.

Blah.

[Emily!]

Ahh another day of being a "Negative Nancy". My back has been bothering me on and off all day. Same kind of pain. The thing that is bugging me about it is that I vaguely recall lower back pains of the same nature before I found out I was pg last time. At the same time, I have this aching feeling that I'm just not. This sucks.