[Solace]

This is my first journal post. On September 9, 2007 I miscarried my first pregnancy at about 8 1/2 - 9 weeks. I'm not really sure exactly how far it was, that was just the best guestimate. Anyways, so since then my husband and I have been trying. We got married on October 21, 2007. Before all of this happened, I went almost a year without having a period. I hadn't had one in approximately 12-14 months up until today. I guess that's another reason I started this journal. Maybe I'll have a real cycle or two...

So, today I called my doctor and requested a referral to my OB specialist that did surgery on me in August of 2005 for Endometriosis, cysts, and because my right fallopian tube was twisted/swollen. I'm expecting Peg (the nurse) to call me back. I hope she can do that tomorrow morning so I can make an appointment as soon as possible with Dr. Lau. I am hoping that they can put me on Clomid since I always read about it in these forums. We'll see.

Also today we went to dinner to Scott's friends house, Laston and Jen. They have an adorable 4 month old baby. Every time I see her (all of twice now) I get baby germs because I get along so well with children. She's so adorable too, and I think deep down I have the mommy-inklings. I think I'll make a good mother. I wish I would hurry up and get pregnant already.

[Solace]

Got my referral really early in the morning so I called my specialist to make an appointment. And come to find out, he's OUT OF THE COUNTRY... however, they said he'll be back on the 14th and they made me an appointment to see him at 3:15pm. I guess this is a good thing, and four days isn't too long of a wait. It gives me time to get through most of AF I hope. On The 14th I'll be CD6 and usually my AF doesn't last long at all so hopefully it may even be gone. But in any case, I look forward to talking to him about Provera and Clomid and I'm interested in hearing what he has to say about looking into the PCOS thing. Now just to wait.

[Solace]

Today I am CD3. I'm really really tired. I was up really late with a friend and I didn't get to bed until about 8am in the morning and only recently woke up. I hate how it feels when your head is spinning sickly from hormones and sleep deprivation. For some reason I just couldn't sleep, despite going to bed so late. And the birds with their early morning sing songs drove me insane. Oh well. Just a couple more days until the 14th and the doctors appointment. I'm not really sure what to expect out of it. I just really hope this AF means a new cycle for me.

[Solace]

Woke up about 50 minutes ago. I think my fever broke or something, I haven't been feeling well. I woke up in a heavy sweat.

Today (well yesterday now) my bleeding almost stopped completely. Somehow having a 3 day period after 14 months doesn't seem right. I wonder if it'll kick back up again, or what.

[Solace]

Nobody else really uses these TTC Journals, do they? At least not in TTCAL. I've also noticed that this board in general doesn't get nearly as much activity as simply Trying to Conceive does.

I noticed that yesterday and today I am quite a bit more cranky than normal...

[Solace]

After a long journey (missing my bus, hour trip, finding out my appointment was an hour later than I planned...) I finally got in to see Dr. Lau. After some brief discussion about my past pregnancy and miscarriage, and the surgery he performed in August 2005 for Endometriosis, he went on to explain that my left fallopian tube was really messed up and how he was certain I had PCOS. I almost started crying because I thought he was going to talk about a follow up surgery (which is what he wanted to do in January of 2006), especially with the whole missing my period for 14 months...and then he said the magical words Clomid!

Since I'm on my 5th CD I start Clomid TODAY!!!!! I'm sooooo happy. I can actually start charting for once in my life!!!! He also perscribed me Metformin which he told me will reduce my chances of miscarriage and greatly reduce my chances of Gestational Diabetes during the pregnancy. I am so thrilled.... I see him again on the 23rd for a follow up where he's going to do an ultrasound and check my egg. Everything was so helpful, he even drew out a chart and stuff to show me when I will -for sure- ovulate and the best days to BD!!!

I asked him how long people on Clomid usually take to get pregnant and he said if not right away within the first six months! WOO!!!!

Anyways, just an update! Thanks to everyone who wished me well! I can't wait to tell the hubby!!!

[Solace]

My neck really hurts. It's almost like if it were on my head it'd be a headache. My stomach keeps making these weird dull pains (almost like cramping but not quite) and I'm afraid I'm going to vomit but then I don't. Strange! Glad I only have 3 days left.

[Solace]

Got my Fertility Chart Link!

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1e9031

[Solace]

Day 4 of Clomid. I've noticed Clomid or Metformin (or the combination of both) make me rather manic. I get really fatigued for an hour or two after taking it, but then it's like the full moon comes out and I'm bouncing around full of hyperactive energy. Not that I'm complaining on the last bit, but I wonder if that's caused by the medicines. Maybe my body is reacting to hormones that I've simply never had. In any case, I want these hormones (but not the medication) because I realize how much better I feel all around when I have some energy to work with.

[Solace]

Apparently only my right ovary produced anything. One single egg. My left one, being the screwed up one of course, produced only very tiny follicles that did not turn into anything worthwhile.

For some reason I'm disappointed. I mean, normal females produce one on each side. I'm half there. But that was the Clomid's job. And, in all reality, it's meant to produce multiples (hence why you have a higher risk of twins) because people who take Clomid have a hard time conceiving.

I haven't ovulated yet. Dr. said that I should tonight or tomorrow and instructed us to "keep busy" with the baby dance, but even that is just annoying me. Not the actual act mind you, just the planning and driving everyone insane with the baby fever.

Because I'm estimated to repeat my cycle on February 6th, at least I'll have some sort of answer soon. I can probably take a pregnancy test as early as the 30th or thereabouts, but in all reality if I am I am and if I'm not I'm not. I'll find out sooner or later. What's killing me is the waiting and that's only because if I am I want to know. I could stand to wait another cycle or two, three, even six.

I'm not going to be highly upset if it's negative. Okay, so maybe I will be.


I just want results and soon. The thought that there is something wrong with me which is preventing this drives me insane, especially since I am surrounded by people who never even try, plan, or even think about getting pregnant but then do.


Maybe I'm just hormonal...


Somebody tell my motherly-instincts to shut the hell up already.

[Solace]

1dpo - Nothing.
2dpo - Maybe possible lack of appetite... There's a slight "twinging" feeling on my right side.
3dpo - Lower temperature, about 98.1. Dehydrated feeling.
4dpo - Same temperature. Extremely nauseous and dry-heavy. Tired/fatigued.
5dpo - Increased temperature, 98.4.
6dpo - Temperature drop, 98.2. Some slight tenderness to my breasts.