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I was eating nachos at 7pm on a Thursday night 3 days before my DD. I was in a horrible mood and felt awful, I was so ready. I had gone into early labor a few nights before, then stopped. This time things started off where it had left off before. Immediately it was pretty intense, and I remember telling John right off the bat that we would never have another child, there was no way I was going to do this more than once.
My back was having a ton of pain, I started panicing that Cadie was sunny side up. I tried to do cat-cows to get her to spin. It was hard. John went to go get me fruit at the grocery store, and I spent that time going to the bathroom, coming out, going back in, etc etc. Every contraction I felt like I had to go, but wasn't really. I watched some episodes of the Office on DVD (I actually had flashes of the show at all sorts of random times while pushing) and then took a bath. The warm water helped so much. I stayed in there for about 2 hours while John sat and talked to me. My Doula told me to get some sleep, so about 11 I tried to go to bed. I kept getting up to go to the bathroom and really wasn't able to sleep, things were going too fast and intense. At 1am my water broke! I started to get back into the tub because the intensity really turned itself up after that. My back was spasming really badly. My contractions were 3 minutes apart, so John called our Doula and she told us to go to the hospital right away.
The ride was pretty tough! It was half an hour away, and we almost ran out of gas. We would have had to have gone past the hospital just to get gas, so John didn't even try it. We got to the hospital and right away I knew I wasn't going to be too happy there. The nurse that brought me up to the maternity ward was chit chatting with me and asking me questions that were annoying me to death. I was less than friendly. Our Doula arrived and the staff wasn't crazy about that, it was obvious. We had totally forgotten to call the Midwife to let her know we were going to the hospital! D'OH!!!
The nurse started to check me in while I walked around the room. She was "new" and super slow. I was really having doubts about my ability to handle everything that was going on. The spasms were so strong, it totally overruled any actual contractions in my uterus. I'm not even so sure I could feel those. It felt like a battering ram into the base of my spine. I was really worried about Cadie being face up, and the nurse kept saying "back labor" which wasn't helping anything. They checked me and I was 3cm. I was supposed to get into the tub- that was the whole reason we picked that hospital. Things were not moving along and the longer the nurse took the more freaked out I was getting about my ability to cope. I was so hot I kept telling my Doula I didn't know if I could handle the tub with the extra heat as it was. I couldn't remember to breathe when the contractions came and I would spend the whole time trying to find a comfortable position. I felt so bad about how I was doing. At that point I started thinking I was going to break down and ask for the epidural, and I was saying I couldn't do it. I never said anything about the epi outloud though. Then I remembered that my friend who had actual back labor got saline injections in her lower back and that really helped. I asked about those. The nurse had never heard of them but went to ask. She reported back that I could get this. That eased my mind, and I decided to try that.
By this point 2 hours had passed. The nurse tried to take my blood but couldn't find my veins. In either arm. She had to get someone else to do it, and I was really getting ticked at this point. I had lied myself down on my side and was trying to cope this way. My Doula started pushing against my back and this was a huge help. We were going to move to the tub, but they checked me again before....and I was 9 cm! So no tub for me.
I started feeling the urge to push and they kept telling me not to because the midwife wasn't there yet. As soon as she showed up I was pushing. I never got the saline injections, it was never brought up again. I kinda wonder why my Doula didn't ask.... I remember thinking it was going to be over in no time. I started pushing on my knees facing the back of the bed. I pushed for ages....sobbing in between contractions. This wasn't working, so they had me move. I went on my back and tried holding onto ropes tied to the bar. I was so afraid to put my tailbone down, so that didn't work well either. I was exhausted. We stopped using the ropes after a while. I was just so exhausted and my back was going full force.
The nurse spent the entire time monitoring the baby's heartbeat with a handheld doppler. It drove me NUTS. The only mean thing I said the entire time was "you know, I have to be honest, you're really driving me crazy with that thing!" but it didn't end. A few times she "lost" the baby's heartbeat, but thanks to the classes my doula taught, I knew that happened sometimes and not to panic. That was good.
Right at the end, I was so close....John was waiting to catch her (our midwife het him catch her, not sure if it's because he is an MD or not) and I was trying so hard....and his phone alarm went off!!! I couldn't have been more annoyed! And ten minutes later, just as I'm crowning, it went off AGAIN. He had hit snooze! This was at 6:40. She was born at 6:57 am, exactly 12 hours after everything started. I pushed for 3 hours total!!! I don't know how that is possible. I kept thinking she had to be right there for them to see....I remember begging them to just pull her out! I felt terrible about that afterwards.
I did have some severe bleeding so they gave me a pitocin shot to stop the bleeding. I barely noticed, I was in heaven!
we stayed in the hospital one night and were out of there the next day. I developed a terrible cold the day after that, it SUCKED and made the first week even tougher. John told me in the car on the way home that our next birth we could be at home like I had wanted!!
I remember feeling so bad about how I handled everything the first week. I was so ashamed of myself. When our Doula came for her follow up visit and I told her that, she actually got tears in her eyes and set me straight. I succeeded in having the birth I wanted, even if it wasn't the peaceful serene scene I had envisioned. I DID IT!!! A med free, intervention free birth in a hospital. GO ME!!!
You have every right to be sooo proud of yourself! You did it!
It was funny reading your story because so many of the things you described I could have written myself! I had to have pressure on my back to help get through contractions, I asked about the water injections and noone knew what I meant either, and I also told my midwife to just pull her out!
Awww, Cheryl! Don't beat yourself up over the things you said or did in labor. Many of us did the same things! After about the 40th time of being told his head was "right there" I yelled at them to just pull him out too! I also pushed for three hours and looking back on it is just so crazy. Congrats momma! You did a great job!