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I went in for a regular appointment with the midwives on December 1 for what was our 11 or 12 week checkup or so I thought. A little background info: my husband and I have a 15 month old daughter, born in October 2007, so we'd been through a lot of the routine appointments (never again will they be routine) so we decided he would work and I'd take my daughter and go. I really wanted midwives, but it's an hr and a half drive- but worth it to us. Anyways, they never found a heartbeat. I was sent to a specialist (by this time my husband had driven up because i called him crying that they couldn't find the heartbeat and it wasn't looking good) who confirmed that the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. We came home with heavy hearts and tear-filled eyes to think about all that had happened and to let it set in and to pray about what to do next. We were given the option to wait and see for a week (it had been 3-4 already) or to schedule a d&c as soon as we felt comfortable. My husband had work travel to Korea the next week so that kinda complicated things. I prayed that if it was supposed to happen naturally that it would, however we scheduled the d&c for Wednesday morning because that seemed to be the best option. I didn't really feel a peace about it, but mainly that's just because there's nothing too "peaceful" about having to go through the heartache of losing a baby no matter how you do it.
Anyways, my midwife called one of her backup physicians and set up the appointment for me. She even took into consideration my request for a woman dr. Someone from the hospital called me to confirm the surgery time and to fill me in on what to expect and what to do before: nothing to eat after midnight the night before as the surgery was scheduled for 11:15 am the next morning, arrive two hours ahead of time for prep, etc.
So, Wednesday morning rolled around and we took our daughter to one of our neighbor's houses, who also happen to be really good friends from our church, they have a daughter a little older than ours and they already have regular playdates so this worked out great for our little one. We then drove the hr and half up the road, anxious yet trusting that God was with us, every step of the way. we arrived at 9:15 and ended up walking past the lobby of the area in the hospital in which i gave birth to my daughter. my husband pointed up to the room window where we had been with her. i started to cry, wishing we were there giving birth, not having to say goodbye. anyways, we signed in. They took me back pretty soon after that. They had hubby and i separated for 30 minutes for some of the prep work... although i hate needles and was very weepy and told them i needed him back with me asap. They ended up bringing him back before I got the IV. But before that, right after we were separated, they took my temp and my blood pressure. I ended up in a small area with a bed and a chair and a curtain. They told me to remove everything and put on the gown. the room was a bit cold but they had blankets so i got under those. the nurse came in and asked me some questions starting off with "are you alright?" to which i started crying and saying no and shaking my head. I think that's when she decided to call my hubby back. anyways, it was good my hubby was back there with me for the iv because it took her a good minute or two to find the vein after she poked through the skin... i was super nauseous at this point as i hadn't eaten anything and the thought of needles makes me very weak and faint, and hubby had to hold me hand and try to calm me down as i was moving around a bit and crying and all worked up. having the IV put in was the worst part of the whole process for me physically.
So then we waited and waited and waited. They brought me warm blankets as the fluids were making my arms cold. Hubby and I nervously chatted. Eventually we met our doctor. She was exactly who I needed. She had had a d&c after her first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and was sharing her experience with me. She went on to have two perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies. She did another u/s at our request as we just wanted to make sure that the baby was gone and that we weren't ending a life that might still miraculously be there. It wasn't meant to be. No heartbeat, no bloodflow, same size and position as 2 days previous... no life. She explained the surgery- they would give me iv sedation so that i could be aroused if needed but not remember or feel anything, they would gently open the cervix and then use the suctioning to remove what they could then use a scraping tool to remove the rest. she told us she'd talk to hubby while i was in recovery to let him know how everything went. she told us we got bumped back 15-30 minutes and that the surgery would probably start closer to 12 (noon). we waited and waited some more. the anesthesiologist came back and asked some questions and soon after that, our dr came back and said they were ready. They started wheeling me out of the curtain area and down the hallway. Hubby and i said our "byes" and they started talking to me about how i was feeling. i think they started putting some meds in the iv at this time as i was getting super sleepy. so i remember the hallway and being wheeled down through some doors. i remember being in what i'm pretty sure was the OR and switching from the bed to the table or whatever it was. i think i kinda felt all smiley at this point. the next thing i remember was waking up in a different room with a bunch of other people and a nurse checking on me. it took me a while to wake up enough to keep my eyes open but i remember feeling happy as i woke up. like the weight of waiting had been lifted off of my shoulders. I knew what had happened, but it wasn't until we got home and the next few days that i was really weepy about it. anyways, they got me dressed and in a little recliner chair and wheeled into another part of the same room. I saw hubby walk in and we exchanged some big smiles. It was so good to see him! Then we waited some more because they were pumping a bag full of pitocin in me trying to get my uterus to contract. I ate tons of crackers and drank lots of juice. I was so hungry. Finally we were able to leave. I never ended up taking any medicine for pain there at the hospital. they kept offering things like morphine and tylenol with codine but i was planning on breastfeeding my daughter when we got home and didn't want that stuff in me or her, and also i wasn't feeling much pain at all- just some mild cramps from the pitocin. they had written two prescriptions- one for the tylenol with codine and one for hospital strength ibuprofen. we didn't use those but i did take a bit of regular strength ibuprofen though once i was home and throughout the next two weeks.
Afterwards, physically, i had bleeding off and on for a week and a half, almost two. There were two different nights where i was passing lots of small clots and bleeding quite a bit. not quite a pad an hr though so i never called the dr. We had a follow up appt at 3 weeks and the midwives said everything looked ok again. they were so understanding in the office that day... and throughout the whole process. the midwife i saw gave me hugs and let me cry with her before she did any of the exam. it wasn't painful physically at all. emotionally, i was a wreck that whole day.
Enough rambling... that was my d&c experience and as much as it sucked having to go through it and having to lose our second baby, it went as well as it could have and we are so thankful to God and to those He put in our path to help us out. We're also blessed to have our firstborn. she keeps us going.
my experience was similar to yours--i remember having the doubts about my baby being gone, even though i'd clearly seen there was no heartbeat, i thought, they should double check JUST in case....what if? and i also remember closing my eyes while they rolled me down the hall to the OR and then them asking me to scoot over from the bed onto the table....i was having such a hard time moving an inch, i remember thinking something like "duh, you've pumped me full of meds and i can't move!" i tried and then finally they had to give me a little assistance.
I didn't really feel a peace about it, but mainly that's just because there's nothing too "peaceful" about having to go through the heartache of losing a baby no matter how you do it.
is EXACTLY how i felt. doubting that i was making the right decision, feeling a little co-erced by my OB who was worried about the risk of infection if i waited it out...and then ultimately realizing it was the best choice even though it sure didn't feel like the best thing to do....