We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to email@example.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
I found out that I was pregnant around the first of April. It was a very unexpected thing, because I was on birth control and we hadnt been planning on having a child any time soon. None the less, I was very excited to hear the news, and I was quick to call and tell everyone. I wish I had waited.... I started bleeding that night, followed by some heavy cramping. I continued to bleed through the next week and a half or so, and I had visited my OB regularly in that time. I had several ultrasounds done, that showed there was a baby there, but they never did find a heartbeat. None of them would tell me what was happening to me...
On the morning of April 12th, I woke and got ready for school (I was a college student at the time) just like every other day. On the drive to my school, I felt so sore, and my stomach was hard. I knew that I was having contractions, but it was testing time and I HAD to be there. I went on to school anyways.
When I arrived at school, I went to class but I wasnt there long before the pain overcame me and I stood to excuse myself. I felt the horrible rush of blood as soon as I stood. My jeans were saturated instantly. I ran from my classroom straight to the bathroom. When I got there, the pain and blood were unbearable. I found then that I had lost a large amount of tissue. I knew what it was. It was my baby. I wrapped it in paper towels, and cried as I held my child against my chest. Eventually I got the energy to stand and clean myself as good as I could. There was no walking from my school without everyone knowing that something was terrible wrong with me. I felt as though I were a spectacle, walking through the hall and out to my car with my pants covered in blood down to the ankles. I drove straight to my OB, I didnt know what else to do. At the OB they had me strip down and they did a cervical exam. The doctor looked at me and said I am sorry. The baby is gone. He asked the nurse to help me clean myself and they called my grandmother. He said that I was bleeding far too bad, and that I would have an emergency D&C. My grandma showed up with some clean clothes and rushed me off to the surgery center.
As I laid in the bed at the surgery center I couldnt calm myself. I hurt so bad, and the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotions that I was going through. I asked for something to calm me. They gave me Demerol, and I was able to sleep. I barely remember being wheeled into the operating room, but I do remember the OB telling me that it was almost over with, this would only take a few minutes. They put more drugs into my IV and counted. That was all, I was out.
When I woke up, I was in a waiting room. My DH, my Grandmother and my MIL were all there. They offered their love and comfort, but I wanted none of it. I just wanted them to leave. I wanted to be alone to cry, but the surgery center was not the place.
I asked to use the bathroom, so a nurse helped me up. The pain was excruciating. My Dh and the nurse helped me to the bathroom. I remember the trip to the bathroom so vividly because as my husband held my hand and helped me walk, a blood clot the size of a grapefruit expelled itself from my body and hit my husbands feet. I could see the fear in his eyes as they filled with tears. He was so scared for me. I was scared for me too. I sat in the bathroom and cried, screamed, prayed and pleaded with God for a long time. I just didnt understand why. I guess that I never will.
My husband took me home that night, and sat awake by my side through the entire night while I slept. I dont know if I would have been able to sleep if it werent for the narcotic pain relievers that I was taking. I hate taking medications, especially those kind, but it was the only thing I could do to keep from just wanting to die. My grandma kept my daughter for the next week while I took time to recover. Dh took that week off of work, so he could stay at home with me. He responded to my every need. I dont know what I would have done with out my family.
Anyone who took the time to read my miscarriage and D&C experience, thank you. It has been months and I am just now able to share this with people, and it feels good to get it all off of my chest. I lost my angel at 7w4d. Not a long time to spend with a child, but long enough to know I will feel love for him forever.
Hi April. I dont even know if you will check back on this post or not but we used to host the tattoo board together. I read your story and found some comfort in it...since I too am now wondering the same things that you were at the time. I lost my little peanut today...7weeks and 5 days. I just wanted to say hello and thanks for posting this.
Look me up on Facebook - Meighan Hopper Bloomington, Illinois