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I had found out on the 19th my baby was gone. It was confirmed on the 20th. Then on the 23rd my doc called and asked me to come in. I did. Broke down in his office but he sceduled me for the next day. I went and did all the pre ops and stuff, registered. Showed up the next day. I had been bumped out after waiting 4 hours.
SO I went back on the April 26th. This time my fears of hospitals took over and after waiting in the waiting room for a while I started to panic. I walked up to the registration desk and tried calmly to tell her I was panicking and couldn't do this and I had to get out. SHe got someone else to watch the desk and followed me outside. I was very much ready to bolt. I started to panic even more, this was a hospital, this was officially the end of everything. It wasn't fair. She walked with me, sat with me, had me count to 10 to calm me down and suddenly my nurse came out and said they had a bed for me, they would get me some meds to help me but I couldn't hyperventilate again because they can't give them to someone whos hyperventilating.
She took me back, ha me put on the gown, and gave me a blanket called a bear hug, it blows warm air through it to keep you warm, very calming. A little while later the anastesiologist came in and ordered some calming meds immediately and before they took me to the OR. My husband finally arrived. Then my doctor came, he answered all my questions and made me feel better. He said "I know this is really tough for you. My wife had one of these a few years back and I saw just how hard it is. W're going to take good care of you, and just as soon as your ready and your stable we'll let you go home."
A little while later they came to get me. They gave me more meds to keep me calm, DH gave me a kiss, and I don't remember anything else. The next thing I remember is waking up in recovery. My wonderful nurse came to check on me, told me DH had been pacing and asking about me constantly until the doctor talked to him. Then she told me I was lucky. I had the best doctor for this, the best anastesiologist the hospital had, and the best OR room. I didn't really care. I wanted to cry, I wanted DH. Shortly after they moved me to observation, where I could be with DH. I cried a little but mostly felt numb. We finally got discharged. I slept most of yesterday and am resting most of today. I still feel numb, but I'm surrounded by flowers and cards from friends and co workers who care. it makes me cry but it gives me comfort.