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What to expect during a natural miscarriage


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  #21  
November 3rd, 2007, 07:32 PM
Mommy2Makenna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,070
August 9th began my LNMP and on September 7th I had my first positive home pregnancy test. (My cycles are longer than average -- about 32 days). The line was FAINT, but it was there. September 17th I had my first doctors appointment and they confirmed the positive pregnancy. My 2nd doctors appointment was on October 3rd. They ran blood tests and levels were all normal. My 12-week appointment was scheduled for October 31st. We planned to hear the heartbeat at this appointment. My husband and I arrived for the appointment and the Dr. was unable to detect a Heartbeat through doppler. His office provided US ability, so he began looking in the US. Durint the US he noticed that my uterus was tilted and he could not get the needed angle to see the heartbeat, so he scheduled me the next day for a vaginal US. My husband works in radiology and a friend of ours who works in US saw us in the hallway after the appointment. She asked how things were going so we told her the story. She said, don't wait until tomorrow, let me do it here for you today. We got the appropriate insurance/paperwork worked out and she performed the vaginal US for us. She discovered an empy egg sac. We were devistated. This was Wednesday afternoon. We spoke with the Dr. and he told us our options of waiting for a natural miscarriage or scheduling a D&C. Emotionally, I didn't think I could just wait, so I went ahead and scheuled the D&C for Friday morning. Thursday evening, I began bleeding. After discussing it with my husband (and my Dr. and getting a little more details on what to expect with a natural miscarriage) we decided to cancel the D&C as we were reasonably sure it would happen soon. Friday night, around 6:30, I began cramping and bleeding more severely. The cramping was constant and painful. The bleeding was heavy! I went through pads (the big, overnight ones) in less than 10 minutes. I spent much of the time just sitting on the toilet passing clots, blobs and blood. It was so painful that I vomited while on the toilet. I became light-headed and wanted to be laying down, but couldn't find a comfortable position, kept bleeding through the pads and kept returning to the toilet. About 10 p.m. I passed several large clumps (too bloody to see much detail, but that was fine with me). Within 10 minutes, the cramping dulled considerably. I got my wits together enough to take a shower. The bleeding began slowing, but remained heavy until about 1am. It has now been 24 hours since the ordeal and physically, I feel pretty normal. The bleeding is still continuing, but it significantly lighter (one pad every 4+ hours). I was surprised at the significance of the pain. Based on the US, it didn't appear that there was much tissue that needed to be expelled. Even though it was very painful, I am glad that I chose the natural option as opposed to the D&C. This was our first pregnancy and we expect to try again. I had done some brief searches on the internet while waiting for the natural miscarriage, but evidently didn't do the right searches because I didn't find this until just now. I don't know if the details will help someone else out there, but I wanted to share my story.
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  #22  
November 6th, 2007, 11:21 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 578
I want to share my experience because I have found that every woman is different and it helps to read and get informed on anything that might happen.

I found out I was pregnant with my second child on Sept 27, everything was going great. I went in on Wednesday Oct 31, I was 12 weeks and 2 days, for a routine check up and my Dr couldn't find the baby heartbeat. She sent me in for a u/s two days later, they wouldn't tell my anything, they didn't give me a clue as to anything being wrong or not, so I was panicked. The next morning my Dr called me in for an appt, which I knew ment that there was something wrong. She told me that there was no fetal heartbeat and that the baby had died at 7 weeks and 2 days, it was just as I was finding out I was pregnant that I lost the baby. My Dr scheduled me for a D&C almost two weeks later, luckily I didn't have to go thru it. I started bleeding Monday (yesterday) morning, very light pinkish on the tp, it was very light that day, nothing that I couldn't handle, that evening the cramping started, it was just like mild menstral cramps, I used a heating pad and ibprofen to help cope with the pain. The next day (today), was a lot worse, I am not to sure how this would have gone if I didn't have a ten month old daughter, who didn't let me rest, and a husband who works out of town, but I managed. I started bleeding heavily and having quite a few clots, most were large (bigger than a loonie or twoonie). During the afternoon it was still easily handled with some ibprofen and my heating pad. It wasn't until about 9pm that the cramps and the bleeding got really bad, they were very similar to active labour pains, altho not quite as intense. The bleeding was horrible, I went thru three super pads in an hour. The clots were getting bigger as the cramps got worse. Then about two and a half hours later I passed more clots and then the baby, which looked like a sac with white pieces, it was about the size of a lemon. My husband and I have been grieving for about a week so we decided to bury the fetus, which I must admit was a hard process for me, but it helps the healing. It has only been a short while since I have completed the m/c so I am still bleeding, slight cramping and a few more clots, but I am sure that these should subside soon.

I hope that this helps anyone who needs more information. I feel terrible for anyone who has had to deal with this and my heart goes out to all of you. I also wish to thank everyone that has posted, I wouldn't have known what to expect if I hadn't found this website.
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  #23  
November 15th, 2007, 01:44 PM
Regular
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 5
Hi everyone,

I am 38 years old, the mother of one beautiful 2-year-old girl conceived through a donor. I found out last Thursday that I am going to miscarry again for the second time in six months (same donor as my daughter's). The first one, in the spring, was a blighted ovum that never even had a yolk sac. This one had a heartbeat up until last week--I see a fertility dr. and was tracking via bloodwork and ultrasound, so I knew the heartbeat had stopped between the seventh and eighth week of pregnancy. For the first one, I went for a D and C in an outpatient clinic which was draining, but all in all not a bad experience. However, this time my doctor advised me to wait and miscarry naturally because of the potential for uterine scarring. It's now a week since we discovered the heartbeat had stopped. I am finding the anticipation of the miscarriage difficult, but I wanted to thank everyone who has submitted their experiences on this thread. I know every woman is different, but your stories have helped me realize that I can do this. I can survive the wait, and I will survive the miscarriage.

Thank you so very much for sharing these stories.



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  #24  
December 3rd, 2007, 07:20 AM
Regular
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 5
Hi everyone,

First of all, I know that if you're reading this you're either afraid that you're miscarrying, about to miscarry, or (like me) just experienced a miscarriage. I am so sorry you have to experience the fear and /or loss, and I hope you're taking care of yourself.

This thread was a lifesaver for me, and may end up a fertility-saver as well, so I wanted to post my story.

I have a 2yo daughter who was born after many, many attempts by both my partner and me. I am currently 38 and see a fertility doctor to track my cycle--we are using a donor, so it's essential that we get the timing right. After five attempts to conceive a second child, I got pregnant in the spring of 2007 but the baby never grew. I had a D and C in June. It was extremely difficult, but I knew from talking to other friends that miscarriage between babies #1 and #2 were fairly common, so I felt I would conceive again and carry to term without much difficulty.

I did conceive again, in late September 2007. This pregnancy felt much better than the first: higher hormone levels, much more emphatic symptoms. Weekly blood draws and ultrasounds confirmed that the fetus was doing just fine--a nice strong heartbeat, growth right on target, hormone levels all good.

The Sunday just after my seventh week, I woke up in the middle of the night and passed out cold on the bathroom floor. This rarely happens to me, so I was very concerned about my own health and the baby's. I went in on Nov. 9th for my weekly check-up at the fertility clinic. I knew something was wrong when the tech didn't play back the sound of the little heartbeat as usual. When the clinic called later that day, they said the baby's heart had stopped. Those of you who have experienced this know how devastating those words are...and I'm sure those of you who haven't can imagine easily. (Incidentally, I had just that past week helped a colleague--also in the early stages of pregnancy--figure out what to do when she started bleeding. Her baby is fine.)

When I recovered from the initial shock, I began to ask lots of questions. The nurse advised me to wait it out if I could; I'd already had one D and C this year, and the doctor was concerned that another might lead to irreversible uterine scarring which might impede my fertility. So my partner and I decided to wait it out.

Last Monday, Nov. 26th (my daughter's second birthday), I began to spot very small amounts of brownish blood. I didn't know how long it might take, so I left work early and didn't go in the next day or the day after. But nothing happened. I finally went in on Thursday out of sheer frustration, and began to spot more heavily with brighter red blood towards the end of the day. But still, all weekend long, nothing. I called the fertility clinic on Friday and explained the situation; the nurse intimated that if I didn't miscarry naturally within the week, the doctor would probably recommend a D and C. I was disappointed, but resigned myself to the inevitable. And I was tired of waiting, to be honest. I planned to visit the clinic Monday, today, to get blood and ultrasounds done and figure out where things stood.

Last night at about 9 pm, I was typing out an email and felt a huge gush--not like a period gush, but more watery. I assume it was my water breaking. It soaked through a pad and my pajamas, but wasn't very thick and sticky like a period. I immediately got up, grabbed the phone to call my partner, and plopped myself down on the toilet. At this point, I felt very little pain--none at all, really.

After sitting there for about five minutes, quietly checking in with my body, I noticed some spots of blood and a little greyish-pink clot on the floor near my feet. I bent down with a tissue and picked it up, and sure enough, it was the fetus--not very distinguishable, and I'd have thrown it into the toilet if I hadn't been able to make out a tiny little arm with a hand and five fingers. I hope you won't judge me here....but I didn't cry. It had been three weeks since we knew the baby had died; I had done my grieving and crying for weeks, and I was more relieved that it had finally passed. I held the little being in my hand and looked at it closely. Then I said, softly, "So there you are." I thought about my daughter and the miracle she is. I thought about my family and my partner and how lucky I am. And I really felt like we would have another baby. I felt hopeful for the first time in weeks.

After that I stayed perched on the toilet for about two or three hours, just letting the blood and clots flow out. There was some pain, at times intense, but nothing I felt I couldn't handle. Reading the experiences of the women on this post and others helped me immensely, because I knew what to expect and I wasn't afraid of all the blood. I must have filled at least three or four toilet bowls with blood and clots--long, dark ones that do look like pieces of liver. I took extra-strength Advil liqui-gels, which helped cut the pain, and talked with my partner throughout the entire event (she took a bath while I bled). We went to sleep at about midnight. I woke at about 3 am, changed my pad, and slept till around 7 am when our daughter got up. Today I am still bleeding, not anywhere near as heavily, and still passing some clots---the pain comes and goes but is totally manageable. All in all, it has been an uneventful, even sort of peaceful experience despite the pain. I am glad in the end that I waited it out.

If I hadn't found the stories of other women's experiences on this post and others, I may have caved in a lot sooner and gotten a D and C, and who knows what that might have done to my uterus and my fertility? I want to thank all the women again who wrote in to this post.

Next steps? The doctor has advised me to wait until I have a few normal periods; then I'm going in for genetic testing and another round of hysterosalpingograms so he can look at my uterus and tubes once again. If all that yields nothing, we'll try again if everything looks ready.

My best wishes to all of you. Take care of yourselves.












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  #25  
December 21st, 2007, 11:52 AM
Regular
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 5
Just wanted to update anyone who's reading these posts, because my miscarriage didn't quite end a few weeks ago but has been going on now for a while.

After the original miscarriage I described below, I bled (about as heavily as I would on the third day of my period) for about two more weeks--and I was experiencing cramps, at times very painful, intermittently as well. This past Tuesday I went in to the fertility doctor to get my blood drawn and have a look with the ultrasound. The tech said that though the fetus had passed (which I knew already), there was still some "free floating tissue" visible at my cervix and in my uterus. She suggested that I might end up having a D and C to remove it (the medical term, apparently, is "retained products of conception").

On Wednesday morning I began to bleed heavily. I was in meetings all morning (with heating pad in tow) and had to bolt several times because I felt an enormous gush of blood and was concerned about making a big mess. That has continued until today. These cramps are much worse than the original miscarriage, and I'm passing huge clots--some as big as my palm. While I am grateful that my body is taking care of the "leftovers" on its own, this second round has been much more upsetting than the original miscarriage (which was a big relief). Although I felt quite differently three weeks ago, now I am not so sure that I would wait it out again. If I end up having another miscarriage, I think I may get a D and C again--and perhaps we will also resign ourselves at that point, if it ever comes, to having one child.

I once again have to express my thanks to everyone who has posted here. Your experiences were the only source of complete information about miscarriages I had, and I am very grateful.



Quote:
Hi everyone,

First of all, I know that if you're reading this you're either afraid that you're miscarrying, about to miscarry, or (like me) just experienced a miscarriage. I am so sorry you have to experience the fear and /or loss, and I hope you're taking care of yourself.

This thread was a lifesaver for me, and may end up a fertility-saver as well, so I wanted to post my story.

I have a 2yo daughter who was born after many, many attempts by both my partner and me. I am currently 38 and see a fertility doctor to track my cycle--we are using a donor, so it's essential that we get the timing right. After five attempts to conceive a second child, I got pregnant in the spring of 2007 but the baby never grew. I had a D and C in June. It was extremely difficult, but I knew from talking to other friends that miscarriage between babies #1 and #2 were fairly common, so I felt I would conceive again and carry to term without much difficulty.

I did conceive again, in late September 2007. This pregnancy felt much better than the first: higher hormone levels, much more emphatic symptoms. Weekly blood draws and ultrasounds confirmed that the fetus was doing just fine--a nice strong heartbeat, growth right on target, hormone levels all good.

The Sunday just after my seventh week, I woke up in the middle of the night and passed out cold on the bathroom floor. This rarely happens to me, so I was very concerned about my own health and the baby's. I went in on Nov. 9th for my weekly check-up at the fertility clinic. I knew something was wrong when the tech didn't play back the sound of the little heartbeat as usual. When the clinic called later that day, they said the baby's heart had stopped. Those of you who have experienced this know how devastating those words are...and I'm sure those of you who haven't can imagine easily. (Incidentally, I had just that past week helped a colleague--also in the early stages of pregnancy--figure out what to do when she started bleeding. Her baby is fine.)

When I recovered from the initial shock, I began to ask lots of questions. The nurse advised me to wait it out if I could; I'd already had one D and C this year, and the doctor was concerned that another might lead to irreversible uterine scarring which might impede my fertility. So my partner and I decided to wait it out.

Last Monday, Nov. 26th (my daughter's second birthday), I began to spot very small amounts of brownish blood. I didn't know how long it might take, so I left work early and didn't go in the next day or the day after. But nothing happened. I finally went in on Thursday out of sheer frustration, and began to spot more heavily with brighter red blood towards the end of the day. But still, all weekend long, nothing. I called the fertility clinic on Friday and explained the situation; the nurse intimated that if I didn't miscarry naturally within the week, the doctor would probably recommend a D and C. I was disappointed, but resigned myself to the inevitable. And I was tired of waiting, to be honest. I planned to visit the clinic Monday, today, to get blood and ultrasounds done and figure out where things stood.

Last night at about 9 pm, I was typing out an email and felt a huge gush--not like a period gush, but more watery. I assume it was my water breaking. It soaked through a pad and my pajamas, but wasn't very thick and sticky like a period. I immediately got up, grabbed the phone to call my partner, and plopped myself down on the toilet. At this point, I felt very little pain--none at all, really.

After sitting there for about five minutes, quietly checking in with my body, I noticed some spots of blood and a little greyish-pink clot on the floor near my feet. I bent down with a tissue and picked it up, and sure enough, it was the fetus--not very distinguishable, and I'd have thrown it into the toilet if I hadn't been able to make out a tiny little arm with a hand and five fingers. I hope you won't judge me here....but I didn't cry. It had been three weeks since we knew the baby had died; I had done my grieving and crying for weeks, and I was more relieved that it had finally passed. I held the little being in my hand and looked at it closely. Then I said, softly, "So there you are." I thought about my daughter and the miracle she is. I thought about my family and my partner and how lucky I am. And I really felt like we would have another baby. I felt hopeful for the first time in weeks.

After that I stayed perched on the toilet for about two or three hours, just letting the blood and clots flow out. There was some pain, at times intense, but nothing I felt I couldn't handle. Reading the experiences of the women on this post and others helped me immensely, because I knew what to expect and I wasn't afraid of all the blood. I must have filled at least three or four toilet bowls with blood and clots--long, dark ones that do look like pieces of liver. I took extra-strength Advil liqui-gels, which helped cut the pain, and talked with my partner throughout the entire event (she took a bath while I bled). We went to sleep at about midnight. I woke at about 3 am, changed my pad, and slept till around 7 am when our daughter got up. Today I am still bleeding, not anywhere near as heavily, and still passing some clots---the pain comes and goes but is totally manageable. All in all, it has been an uneventful, even sort of peaceful experience despite the pain. I am glad in the end that I waited it out.

If I hadn't found the stories of other women's experiences on this post and others, I may have caved in a lot sooner and gotten a D and C, and who knows what that might have done to my uterus and my fertility? I want to thank all the women again who wrote in to this post.

Next steps? The doctor has advised me to wait until I have a few normal periods; then I'm going in for genetic testing and another round of hysterosalpingograms so he can look at my uterus and tubes once again. If all that yields nothing, we'll try again if everything looks ready.

My best wishes to all of you. Take care of yourselves.[/b]
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  #26  
December 21st, 2007, 12:43 PM
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Kansas
Posts: 20
This is my first post here, but I felt like this website was the most candid and informative site when I needed info and reassurance about my own experiences. So, here's my story...

I have a son who is almost 3 yrs old. I had no trouble getting pregnant with him, and no troubles during the pregnancy. So, when my husband and I were ready to try for #2, we had no idea about the road we were headed down. I found out I was pregnant in May 2007. I had a vaginal US at about 8 weeks, in which everything looked okay, but the baby appeared to be 1-2 weeks smaller than my dates had us thinking. But, we saw that tiny baby and the heartbeat, and were encouraged. Three weeks later I began to spot. I went in for my regular scheduled OB appt, and they saw the baby via US, but no heartbeat. I was between 12-13 weeks at that point, and had a D&C the next day. I was never in an unbearable amount of physical pain, and did not have a significant amount of bleeding before the D&C. I bled a few days after the procedure, and tried to heal emotionally. The waiting game was just beginning...

Ever since the D&C, my cycles have been very long. They were pretty normal previously, but became 45-52 days long. It drove me crazy!! I determined that I would go almost an entire month before ovulating. So frustrating... especially when you are dying to pregnant... again. But, on the day before Thanksgiving, I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. My husband and I were ecstatic!! So many people had told me of their miscarriage experiences between kids #1-2, and I thought that that was going to be me.

But, just this past Monday (12/17/07), I went into my OB's office, excited to get that fun US picture of the tiny peanut, growing inside me. But, one of my worst fears was confirmed. This baby was also visible, but smaller than expected, and had a very faint heartbeat. We were devastated. My OB told me to pray for a miracle, but also said that he was moderately concerned. I had daily communication with his office, and by Tuesday morning (just 24 hrs later) I was bleeding heavily, just like the first days of a period. I went in for repeat labs, showing that my HCG levels were not increasing, and indicating a miscarriage. I chose not to have a D&C this time, and waited for the worst. Just last night (12/20/07), about 2 days after the heavy bleeding started, I started feeling somewhat uncomfortable. I was cramping more than a period, but not as bad as labor. I hovered between laying on the couch, and running to the toilet. I passed about 10 very large lemon-sized clots, along with lots and lots of fresh red blood. I soaked pads in less than 20 minutes time. This lasted about 3 1/2 hours, and I was so glad that my husband was there to care for my son. Not only was I hurting physically, but also the emotional finality of it all was sinking in. Eventually, the bleeding subsided some, and I went to bed.

This morning, I had a follow-up visit with my OB, who after doing another US, feels that the worst of it is now over. He expects me to bleed for a few more days, but nothing else like last night. I will see him again in 2 weeks, to draw labs, and to figure out a plan for the next pregnancy. My heart goes out to anyone experiencing a miscarriage... what a horrible, traumatic time. I had a friend that sent me a card yesterday that said, "It's okay to be sad... be mad... but also be hopeful." We're trying... =)
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  #27  
December 25th, 2007, 08:55 AM
Regular
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 5
KS Jayhawk,

I nodded with recognition the entire time I read your post. I am so very sorry you've had to endure this as well. So much of what happened to you resonates for me...I hope you're taking care of yourself and have good support.

Just wanted to also post another update, for those of you looking for information about how miscarriage plays itself out for different women...

I went into the emergency room on Dec 23rd because the bleeding this "second round" (I m/c three weeks ago, then started to bleed again a few days ago--see my previous posts) seemed excessive. I was also starting to feel quite weak (though not dizzy) and was concerned about blood loss and low iron/hemoglobin. I was there for about three and a half hours. Not much happened; by that time the blood flow had lessened considerably and I was no longer passing huge clots. Still, I had lost a lot of blood, and they told me in emerg that my hemoglobin was very low and I might need a transfusion if it didn't improve.

Went in yesterday, Xmas eve, to get an ultrasound. It confirmed that most of tissue was gone, baby was gone (knew that already), and only a little clot remained which was probably not worth a D and C. Thank goodness!

So...today I am still a bit sore and crampy...taking liquid iron to boost my stores and feeling much better. I am expecting a little more blood and clots to pass soon, since they saw it on the ultrasound, but the bleeding has slowed to about a day-three-of-my-period level.

Throughout all of this I have had the support of partner and friends and colleagues, but I am still hugely pissed off that there is no real support for or recognition of this reality for women on a public health level. I am planning to write letters to the ministry of health in Ontario (where I live) and to some midwifery clinics about it and see if I can get some answers. I am so grateful that posts like these exist, but I think women deserve some other form of support--someone to counsel them about options and speak truths about the experiences of other women. It incenses me that something so common and so painful to so many women is so easily ignored. In Ontario, midwives don't even get paid if a woman under their care miscarries!

KS Jayhawk--and anyone else who's out there worried or in pain related to a msicarriage--I send you my best. And happy holidays to you all.

ina (mabelsmama)




Quote:
This is my first post here, but I felt like this website was the most candid and informative site when I needed info and reassurance about my own experiences. So, here's my story...

I have a son who is almost 3 yrs old. I had no trouble getting pregnant with him, and no troubles during the pregnancy. So, when my husband and I were ready to try for #2, we had no idea about the road we were headed down. I found out I was pregnant in May 2007. I had a vaginal US at about 8 weeks, in which everything looked okay, but the baby appeared to be 1-2 weeks smaller than my dates had us thinking. But, we saw that tiny baby and the heartbeat, and were encouraged. Three weeks later I began to spot. I went in for my regular scheduled OB appt, and they saw the baby via US, but no heartbeat. I was between 12-13 weeks at that point, and had a D&C the next day. I was never in an unbearable amount of physical pain, and did not have a significant amount of bleeding before the D&C. I bled a few days after the procedure, and tried to heal emotionally. The waiting game was just beginning...

Ever since the D&C, my cycles have been very long. They were pretty normal previously, but became 45-52 days long. It drove me crazy!! I determined that I would go almost an entire month before ovulating. So frustrating... especially when you are dying to pregnant... again. But, on the day before Thanksgiving, I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. My husband and I were ecstatic!! So many people had told me of their miscarriage experiences between kids #1-2, and I thought that that was going to be me.

But, just this past Monday (12/17/07), I went into my OB's office, excited to get that fun US picture of the tiny peanut, growing inside me. But, one of my worst fears was confirmed. This baby was also visible, but smaller than expected, and had a very faint heartbeat. We were devastated. My OB told me to pray for a miracle, but also said that he was moderately concerned. I had daily communication with his office, and by Tuesday morning (just 24 hrs later) I was bleeding heavily, just like the first days of a period. I went in for repeat labs, showing that my HCG levels were not increasing, and indicating a miscarriage. I chose not to have a D&C this time, and waited for the worst. Just last night (12/20/07), about 2 days after the heavy bleeding started, I started feeling somewhat uncomfortable. I was cramping more than a period, but not as bad as labor. I hovered between laying on the couch, and running to the toilet. I passed about 10 very large lemon-sized clots, along with lots and lots of fresh red blood. I soaked pads in less than 20 minutes time. This lasted about 3 1/2 hours, and I was so glad that my husband was there to care for my son. Not only was I hurting physically, but also the emotional finality of it all was sinking in. Eventually, the bleeding subsided some, and I went to bed.

This morning, I had a follow-up visit with my OB, who after doing another US, feels that the worst of it is now over. He expects me to bleed for a few more days, but nothing else like last night. I will see him again in 2 weeks, to draw labs, and to figure out a plan for the next pregnancy. My heart goes out to anyone experiencing a miscarriage... what a horrible, traumatic time. I had a friend that sent me a card yesterday that said, "It's okay to be sad... be mad... but also be hopeful." We're trying... =)[/b]
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  #28  
January 25th, 2008, 11:36 PM
Regular
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2
First, just wanted to thank everyone who shared their experiences here. I found this thread extremely helpful while I was going through my m/c, so I'm going to post my story too.

At about 6 weeks I woke up one morning to find light brown spotting. This was my first pregnancy and I panicked when I saw it, but after reading some things on the internet, I learned that it's common and as long as it isn't red it's usually ok. That put my mind at ease, and by the next day it was gone. Then the day after that, it was back and maybe a little heavier (more pink rather than brown). Another thing was around the same time my cm changed to more egg white consistency, but I'm not sure if that was related or not.

Anyway, over the next few days it kept getting slightly darker until I think 2 days later I woke up and there were definite red streaks mixed in w/ cm. At that point I was really scared and called the dr. They were able to get me in right away and the OB did a pelvic exam and said my cervix was closed and it looked like the cervix was just bleeding easily on contact, so that might have been where the blood was coming from. She ordered blood work for that day and in 2 days to check my hCG levels and an u/s for the next week. I hadn't had any cramping up until that point, but right after the pelvic exam I started getting pretty bad cramps. I figured it was just b/c of the exam and didn't worry about it too much. The cramps got better by the end of the day, but they were still there.

The next morning I woke up to find much heavier bleeding and cramping, like a heavy period. I just knew I was having a miscarriage and for the rest of the day I just sat on the couch with my husband and we kind of said goodbye then. By the evening I was in really bad pain and was passing a lot of blood and clots, but no tissue that I could see. I must have been losing a lot of blood because I was getting really lightheaded and I finally had to stay lying down. The next morning when I went in for the next blood work, I told the receptionist what had happened, and she got me and appointment right away for another exam. The dr said that my cervix was open and I had miscarried. She was able to pull some tissue out, but she didn't say what it was and I was too out of it to ask. After that they did an u/s to see if anything was left in my uterus and the dr said it looked like nothing was left, only blood, and I would probably bleed heavily for another few days. After I went home I didn't start bleeding very much again until that evening, when it started almost as heavy as before. For the next few days the same thing kept happening - I didn't bleed much until right around dinner time when I would get really bad cramps so I could barely move, and very heavy bleeding. During one of those episodes some more tissue came out, and I think after that I started to feel better and the bleeding got lighter.

Now it's been over a week since the worst of it, and I'm only having light spotting now. I still have to go back to get my hCG levels checked because the last time they hadn't gone down enough.

Well that was my experience. I'm so sorry to everyone who is reading this, who is going or has gone through the same thing. Best wishes to you all.
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  #29  
May 14th, 2008, 06:52 AM
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Hi, I want to share my experience with you all... it's helping me to talk about it.
We found out on May 9th (Friday) that I was pregnant, although I had known for probably 2 weeks b/c I just felt different, like I was pregnant. Anyway, we were extremely excited to have my suspicions confirmed. We told very few people b/c we knew that the first trimester 30% of pregnancies miscarry. On Sunday night I strated spotting, it was light pink in color... I was at a dance recital with my mom, so stuck and tampon in b/c that's all I had. When I got home that night the spotting had quit, but I was still a little worried... I did some research on the internet and figured that it was normal. When I woke up Monday morning the spotting turned dark brown in color, and I didn't feel pregnant anymore... I had my husband say a prayer, and my dad (who had stayed the night with us) said a prayer with me later on. I was scheduled to have my HCG's tested that day anyway, so I went and got my blood work done and they told me it would take about 2 hours to get the results. In the meantime, I called my doctor and he said it is normal to spot and not to worry... I also did some research on the internet, and it sounded like dark brown spotting was normal. I kept telling myself that they were going to call me and say that my counts had doubled... but when I got the call it was devestating, my counts had dropped all the way to a one! I lost it!!! I had never felt more pain, and sense of loss in my whole life... I was only 4 weeks along, it's amazing how you can become attached to someone you've never met, and only knew about for 3 days!! My husband is taking this loss almost as bad as me... but each day is getting better. Today is the first day I've been by myself since the miscarriage, but it's still all I can think about. I know that this baby was taken for a reason... I don't understand, but it's out of my control.

This experience has been devestating for us; however, it will not stop us from trying again here in a couple of months.
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  #30  
May 30th, 2008, 08:52 PM
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I can't even begin to tell you all how much I appreciate this discussion. I just had a m/c last week, after 3 perfect, healty pregnancies. We were scheduled for our first OB visit last Wednesday, at about 10 weeks 3 days. Tuesday morning I went to the restroom and I noticed some light brown staining on my underwear. When I wiped, there was a small smear of red blood on the tissue. I called my OB, but they said just to wait it out and come in for my regular scheduled appointment the next day. I looked up info on the internet, and was reassured that bleeding was very normal and didn't mean anything bad, so i hoped for the best. For the rest of the day I wore a pad, but probably could have gotten away with just a pantyliner--there was no significant blood, just usually when I wiped after going to the bathroom. Hubby and I went in for our appt. the next day, and they ordered an u/s first thing. Well, we got excited when we saw the baby was still there, but I noticed right away that there was no heartbeat. "Where's the heartbeat?" I asked, and the u/s tech said," I don't see it, but I shouldn't really say anything yet." But through the whole u/s my hubby and I asked questions, about the size of the baby, etc, and it was only measuring about 8 weeks. They asked me if I was sure about my dates, and I told them I was rock solid on the dates==there was no question. Up to this point, I had no cramping or any other problems at all, just the slight bleeding. Well, after the U/S, we were taken to the exam room, where the doctor came in, med student in tow, and said she was sorry, but it didn't look good, and what did we want to do? I was still in a state of shock at this point and just burst into tears. My feelings were: if there was a chance that they were mistaken, I didn't want to do the D&C, (or the abortion type procedure they would actually have to do), but if the baby was truly dead, I was kind of freaked out about walking around with a dead baby inside of me. So I'm sitting there crying, and the doctor goes and gets the attending physician who then comes in to talk to us. She was at least a little more sensitive about it, and told me that 8-10 weeks was a long time to get attached to the baby, and if I ended up needing some help with depression that she would prescribe something. She also recommended that I wait and m/c on my own. Well, we left there, and the next day (Thursday) I had some spotting, and some mild cramping, but nothing major--it wasn't even enough to compare if to a light period, really. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn't have any idea what to expect with a m/c. I had no idea if I needed to go to the ER, if I would bleed much, so I got online (thank God for the Internet!) and found this website and this discussion thread. It was a lifesaver! Anyway, Friday morning, May 23, I woke up and my cramping was getting a little stronger. I still didn't have much bleeding, but through-out the day, the cramping was stronger and stronger. Really just like mild contractions, they never got very painful for me. I was passing very small clots by Friday afternoon, and when I would go to the bathroom, there would be like menstrual tissue--the stringy kind, in the commode. By about 2:00 PM, I had a feeling something would start to pass, and when I went to the bathroom, I felt something thick pass through, and just caught a glimpse of it as it fell in--it was about 3-4 inches long and about 2 inches wide, and it was kind of thick. It was a mixture of grayish tissue, I didn't get a real good look at it. But that was it. I had some mild cramping after, but never got the large amounts of blood that other people have experienced. My regular period was heavier than the bleeding I had with my m/c.
Thanks again for this discussion--I'm sure you have no idea how many people have turned here for some guidance because they truly didn't know what to expect. I'm so sorry for everyone's loss, and wish you all blessings in the near future!
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  #31  
June 4th, 2008, 01:04 PM
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Here is my story.

I found out I was pregnant on 4/30/08. They told me I was around 3 or 4 weeks. I had transvaginal ultrasounds once a week after that until my 6th week when they detected a heartbeat and told me everything was looking perfect and they would see me in a month.

That weekend I'm afraid I may have done something that caused what was to come. I noticed that there was black mold in my basement and my sister and her 3 yr old daughter was coming to stay and I didn't want them around it, so I cleaned the black mold with bleach. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but a few days later I had a contractor come out and inspect to let me know what we needed to do to stop the mold from forming and he told me it was very dangerous for me to be around that and I needed to get the rest removed quickly. Later that week I started getting period like cramping. On Saturday at work, I noticed very little old blood when I went to the bathroon. I remember reading tons of articles that said old blood is normal around 7 weeks so I didn't freak. That evening the cramps were getting worse and I passed a small blood clot. I freaked out and went to the ER. For some reason he didn't want to give me an ultrasound but gave me a pelvic exam and told me that my cervix was closed but that because of the symptoms it was considered a "threatened abortion". My cramps didn't stop. On Sunday they were getting worse so Monday I scheduled for an ultrasound.

I went back to the hospital Monday morning and they gave me another transvag ultrasound and they didn't have to say anything. I could tell that something was wrong when i couldn't see the baby in the sac any longer. The tech called my doc to give me the news. He told me that I didn't need to worry about a D&C because the baby already passed. I thought that meant I had already passed the baby through my body?!? (this was my first pregnancy if you couldn't tell).

That evening I lost tons of blood, blood clots, etc. I also thought that I passed the baby when I saw a sac like clot that was obviously bloody but had a white gray tent to it. it was large in size. It was about the size of a slice of a peach. I got a little upset but i thought the worst part was over. Tuesday morning I woke up covered in blood from my waist down. I spent all day on the toilet letting myself drain. My cramping was going away and not as intense. Wednesday morning I was going to go back to work and something told me to rest one last day since i haven't been moving around. Mid afternoon I did my half hour ritual and sat on the toilet and felt some thicker blood leaving and looked down and there was a big blood clot, i thought. but after i looked closer i could tell that it was the baby. it had small arms and a tail like bottom half. I wasn't as upset as I thought since I had already cried my eyes out for a few days....but I was confused. I thought I had already passed it through a few days earlier?! What was the sac like thing I passed through? and why did the doc say i already passed everything through based on what my ultrasound detected???

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  #32  
June 26th, 2008, 09:25 AM
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I have read this board many times in the last few weeks and I have joined to share my experience of a natural miscarriage as my recent experience was traumatic and I feel that if I had to advise anyone making a choice between natural or d&c, I'd want for them to hear my experience in weighing their options.

First some background: I've had a difficult time conceiving and remaining pregnant. I have a daughter who will turn 1 on July 10 conceived through IVF. Prior to getting pregnant with her, I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and had a d&c the day after we found out that the heart had stopped beating. I have been trying to conceive a second child for about 5 months. I went through an unsuccessful IVF attempt in March and then found out in April that I was pregnant the old fashioned way and was over the moon about it. Because of the IVF the previous cycle, I was unsure of when I ovulated, though I had a pretty good idea it was about 7-10 later than normal (that's around days 21-24 of my usually regular 28 day cycle).

I had a sonosgram at what we thought was 6 weeks, but the OB & sono tech thought it was 5 weeks (hence the thinking that I ovulated late). So I went for another sono two weeks later (now 7-8 weeks). There was growth: a fetal pole, gestational sac, yolk sac, but no heartbeat. DR & tech suggested I come back in another week to be sure. A week later (week 8-9) showed no heartbeat and the pregnancy was declared non-viable. I called my OB to schedule a d&c -- the earliest available OR slot was 6 days out --UGH.

I had also started seeing an acupunturist (OMD for short -- Oriental Medical Doctor) just as I conceived and was continuing to see her weekly. The last sono was on Thursday and I saw my OMD on Saturday morning and told her the news. She gave me acupuncture to help empty the uterus.

The next morning I started bleeding. It was a little heavier than a period, a had cramps definitely worse than my period and a wicked headache -- despite drinking lots of water all day. The next day, Monday, was more of the same. I kept taking extra-strength tylenol and thought I could get throught this. It was more intense in terms of bleeding, cramping, moodiness, headaches than a period. I have read that a natural miscarriage is like a "heavy period" so I thought I was really going through it and I could deal with it.

I went for another acupuncture treatment on Tuesday afternoon. Three hours later I was giving my daughter a bath, sitting on the bathroom floor I felt contractions (I had a natural vaginal birth with my daughter, so it was an instantly recognizable sensation), then a warm gush and I looked down to see I was sitting in a pool of blood -- right through my extra-large overnight pad (just put on), my underwear, my pants, the bathmat. I got on the toilet and passed clots or tissue the size and texture of boneless, skinless chicken breasts and keep bleeding. Without all the logistics, I kept bleeding like this and more for several hours. The pain was NOT anything like a period, it was definitely like LABOR PAINS. I could not stand up, sit up or get off the bathroom floor. I could barely speak -- wimpering and sobbing were all I could manage. My husband came home and called my OB who said I should go to the ER to get evaluated. I couldn't stand up and couldn't imagine leaving -- the blood was coming so fast that I'd ruin our car -- but really I literally could not move, between pain and the lack of energy due to blood loss. My OB did call in an RX for codeine and my husband got within in 5 miuntes of hanging of the phone. I was so thankful for the promise of some relief.

The codeine did dull the pain enough for me to prop myself up against the bathtub and swing from there to the toilet and back when more contractions pushed more hunks out. Then, I think from the codeine I started sweating everywhere while at the same time being very clammy. I thought it was the end and told my husband that if I lose consciousness then he should call for an ambulance (I really didn't want to go to the hospital). The bleeding continued until about 3 AM (6 hours of heavy, scary bleeding, followed by about 3 hours of an overnight pad every 45 minutes). During this time I was unable to stand, sit, and could only crawl a few movements at a time and then had to lie on the floor for 10, 15 minutes to "recover" to crawl a few more feet. I went through 32 heavy-duty, overnight pads in this time period. They were COMPLETELY soaked and usually the blood went through my underwear and pants (5 sets of underwear and 5 pairs of sweat pants that night). I could not stand up until about 2pm the following day and was still a little woozy when I did. Now, 40 hours after this started I am still weak and tired but feel among the living and that I will be OK. I see my OB in 45 minutes to see what is left in my uterus (how could there be anything?)

Granted, I should have gone to the hospital. They probably would have done an emergency d&c and I would have been uncounscious for all of this. And that's my point, having lived through natural, I would encourage anybody weighing the decision, especially past 6 weeks of pregnancy, to choose d&c. This was a horrific nightmare. I've had a d&c: the hospital, the anesthesia, scraping your uterus -- yes all these things suck, but this sucked a lot more.
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  #33  
November 30th, 2008, 01:02 PM
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My miscarriage process was a little different.

I went to see my OB at 12 weeks and I found out that my fetus stopped growing at 6 weeks. My OB gave me two options: to either miscarry naturally or have a D&C. This was my second pregnancy. My first pregnancy was also unsuccessful and my fetus died at 8 1/2 weeks and my doctor insisted that I get a D&C (a natural miscarriage was not given as an option to me for some reason). With this pregnancy, I wanted to miscarry naturally and avoid any invasive procedures. 3 weeks later I still had no signs of a miscarriage - no blood, no cramps, nothing. Even though my OB said that I will not get an infection even if I were to hold he dead fetus in me for a few more weeks, I was still worried that I would get one. So I scheduled a D&C.

The day before the procedure, I started to see a little blood mixed with thick mucus. It was so light that I could only see it if I wiped with a tissue. I canceled my D&C hoping that my body is finally beginning the miscarriage process. The blood came and went. It was a really slow process for me. It took a week before I consistently saw light blood on my maxi pad. And about another 1/2 week to begin feeling cramps. The cramps would come and go. Two hours later, my cramps were stronger and I started to take some Motrin. In the bathroom, I saw that I was passing a long, thick mucus discharge. I'm not sure, but I think this may have been the cervix "plug". Two hours after that, I started passing some tissue. Immediately after that, I started to pass something larger in size. I took a look down there and saw that I was passing the sac. It was noticable because it was completely round. Then after passing the sac, I spent the next hour passing more tissue. By this time, my cramps have subsided substantially and it wasn't painful anymore. The pains that I felt were more like bad menstral cramps and were completely tolerable. When I was passing tissue, there were no pains. The whole discharge process only took about an hour and a half. Three hours later, my blood outflow also subsided substantially.

Emotionally I felt a sense of closure. I had carried the dead fetus in me for 11 weeks and I was glad that it was out and I can move on with my life.

For those who are reading this and is thinking about whether to choose a D&C or miscarry naturally, I can share my experience with both. Despite the many negative comments I've read about a D&C, in my opinion I don't think that's a bad procedure and it's a completely personal choice. With my D&C, one of the biggest benefit is that they can do some testing on the fetus to determine whether the cause of the miscarriage is because of a chromosomal abnormality or something else. I didn't realize how important that piece of information was to me until after the D&C when I replayed every minute of the weeks the fetus was alive in my head to see what I had done wrong to have caused the miscarriage. I had come up with a list so long of things that I thought I shouldn't have ate, should have ate, shouldn't have done, should have done, etc, etc. It took a huge emotional toll on me and I blamed myself for the miscarriage. When the lab came back with the results, I was relieved somewhat. However, with my current miscarriage, my OB said that because the dead tissue had been in me for so long, the chromosomal analysis may come back inconclusive. Also, had the gestational age been higher, I think I would probably have opted for the D&C simply because I'm not sure if I can take seeing a dead fetus with arms, fingers, etc lying in my bathroom.

My husband and I will try again in a few months. I'm thinking about exploring TCM (traditional chinese medicine) to see whether it can help.


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  #34  
December 31st, 2008, 06:25 PM
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32 yo, 8 weeks pg. I got pregnancy the first month off of birth control. I miscarried at 8 weeks - this is what happened to me, plain and simple. I know everyone is different, I also know how much I searched and read posts to find out what was happening to me. I hope this helps someone.

DAY 1 Dec 24 - 7 1/2 weeks pg - faint brown spotting during wiping
DAY 2 Dec 25 - a little more light brown spotting (a little stringy)
DAY 3 Dec 26 - morning, light brown to pink when i wiped. On the way out of town, By noon, bright red drops of blood in toilet. Light cramps.
Called Dr. I was told the symptoms could be due to intercourse on the 24th, overall "not a reassuring sign." If I bled through a pad in an hour, go to the hospital. Otherwise, if I was miscarrying, there was nothing I or doctors could do to stop it.
Bright red blood when I wiped, bleeding lightened up that night.
DAY 4 Dec. 27- Light cramping, more bleeding, some small clots.
DAY 5 Dec 28 - Breasts not as tender as they were. Most of the day- light cramping, heavy bleeding like the first day of my period. That night around 9pm had two episodes of really bad cramps, cold sweats, bowel movement, then vomiting. (previously I was extremely constipated)
DAY 6 Dec 29 - 8:45am bleeding lighter, first scheduled ultrasound. The gestational sac measured 6.5 weeks and 7.2 weeks (not good) and there was no heartbeat. I was scheduled for a DNC the next morning, but was warned I could miscarry this evening.

At 6 pm abdominal cramps started and worsened over the next hour. I was curled up on my hands and knees, they were intense. I moved between the floor and the toilet every few minutes. The cramps would come like I imagine contractions, at first farther apart, then pretty constant. Heavy Bleeding.

Around 7pm I felt a large clot pass and landed on the tissue in the toilet. It was a little blueish in color, was about the size of my thumb. I knew from what I had read this was the sac. A pouring of blood followed. The intense cramps let up almost immediately. I knew better, but I got a q-tip to see if it was really the gestational sac. As I rolled it over I saw the tiny fetus inside of it. I could see the head and an arm suspended inside. It looked like one of the little plastic babies in a New Orleans King Cake. I screamed, flushed the toilet, ran out of the room and freaked out. I wish I hadn't looked. The only person I told about that was my husband. I didn't want to upset anyone else (or be judged).
The cramping continued most of the night, again like very uncomfortable menstrual cramps that just wouldn't let up.
At 1am I passed another large piece of something, about and inch long.

DAY 7 Dec 30 No need for DNC. LOTS of light colored liquid diarrhea, very gassy. Heavy bleeding comes and goes. Abdominal cramping. Taking ibuprophen.

DAY 8 Dec 31
Very little bleeding. Mostly just bright red when I wipe. Belching constantly. Feel full in upper abdomen. No appetitie.
Went back to work today.

If I had to do it again, I would have done an ultrasound 2nd day of spotting. And the DNC immediately. Just to speed it up and cut down on all of the worrying and stress I went through not knowing what was going on and driving myself crazy.

I hate that anyone has to go through with this. I am truly sorry. I know it was comforting to know what to expect as it was happening, and was already a **little** mentally prepared for it.
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  #35  
February 21st, 2009, 10:56 PM
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Hello,

It helps so much to read other people's stories- I feel so much a part of something bigger because you women are experiencing the same hope and sorrow as I am. This was my first pregnancy, lost on 02-18-09 (four days ago). I had known for three weeks that I would lose him/her. The doctors told me I was about 7.5 weeks along.

I am writing because this experience has been so special for me. It is very sad, but I am so grateful for it. I would do it all again in a second if I knew it would turn out the same.

I decided to wait for my body to do the work instead of DnC or meds. My doctor was surprised, but supportive. He said despite what people say there is no more liklihood of infection by waiting than there is with a DnC or medicine. I agreed to get a prescription pain reliever because I had no idea what I'd be facing.

So I started bleeding dark, thick blood on Sunday night. It continued until Wed when I got really bad cramps. I took 600mg IBU (doc recommended) which didn't help at all. The cramps got so bad I was writhing on the floor. In retrospect I wonder if they were like mini contractions... This pain lasted two hours until I passed something about the size of a quarter. I thought that was it but the pain continued. At this point I gave in and took the prescription. I hopped into a warm bath because I thought it might help, which it did, slightly. I kept trying to find a comfortable position until I found that if I rested my butt on my heels and held myself up that the blood flowed more freely out and the pain was gone. (I applogize for the graphics) It was seconds later that I passed the rest of... the placenta? I am not sure what it was, but it was a mass about 4"x 1.5". Immediately after that the pain subsided in any position.

My short term memory was lacking for a few days, I am sure my body's way of ensuring I didn't allow that experience to keep me from trying again. I really needed to go through this process at my own pace, and who knows my pace better than my body? I feel more confident now that my body really does know what to do, and that I can get through things that are emotionally and physically hard.

I have known all my life that I wanted to be a mom. This was very sad for us, but really I am counting my blessings because I have experienced motherhood now. And I do not see the world the same way. I see mothers and children differently. Everything is different. We are hoping to get pregnant again this year, and I believe strongly that this experience will make me a better mother (God willing) and a wiser person. With gratitude to you (other women) and to God, AGA (Avery is the name we gave this child)

PS I love the idea of getting myself something- a keepsake to remind me of Avery.
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  #36  
February 27th, 2009, 05:07 PM
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I lost my pregnancy yesterday. I had a strong feeling that smething wasn't right and thankfully read this thread before the actual event. Knowing what to expect helped prepare me for such an awful experience and assure poor DH that I wasn't going to die.

I found out that I was pregnant at around 5 weeks. It was unexpected by not unwelcome. A few days later I started spotting. I went to the Accident and Emergency dept of my local hospital and they referred me to the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit. The first scan revealed the sac and not much else so I was sent home. The spotting continued and ranged from light pink to red (like a light period). Two weeks later and things were the same, had another ultrasound and the news was good. I saw the baby's heartbeat and everything was as it should be. I was discharged and told to continue with normal antenatal check ups.

The bleeding continued without cramping. I started thinking that perhaps I was going to just be someone that bled throughout (well, hoped).

Somewhere in week 10, I started noticing that my pregnancy sypmtoms had gone. No more tiredness after work, no constipation etc and tried to dismiss it as normal end of 1st trimester symptoms. At 11w 4d, I woke in the night with medium cramping. We went back to the hospital. The doctor performed an ultrasound with some archaic machine and said that she couldn't really tell and that she would refer me to the sonography dept ASAP. Well, this was Friday 5am and they didn't have an appointment until Monday!

So I went to work to get my mind off it. DH was trying to optimistic but I knew.

At work, around 3pm, the cramping suddenly kicked up a notch. It was painful enough that I had to sit and curl my legs up. They made me feel hot and faint. I took a taxi home and met DH there. We decided to time the cramps which are like contractions (I can only imagine). They began to get closer and closer, particularly when I stood up (gravity?) with blood loss increased but was still not much more than a heavy period. When they got 2 mins appart I suddenly got a very strong contaction and an urge to sit on the toilet. This was when I passed the baby. I thought I'd be more freaked out but I felt very calm. The little thing was clearly a tiny body but also didn''t seem real. It was not in a sac and was maybe the size of a paperclip. I'm sure some coping mechanisms were working overtime (denial perhaps?). After this, the blood loss increased massively and I didn't move from the toilet for around 2 hours while blood dripped and poured and I passed several large clots. I tried to stand and felt very dizzy so I decided to use a pad and lie down for a while, changing pads every 15 mins or so. Finally I fell asleep.

This morning, I still feel woozy. The cramping stopped soon after I passed the baby but there's still an ache. I feel empty but don't think the grieving has started yet.

Firstly, apologies for the details and length of the post. It has helped me tremedously to write this and go through the event again. Secondly, my heart goes out to all the other men and women who are going through or have been through this traumatic experience. It's hard to see possitives in such situations but I know that this poor soul wasn't meant to be. Also, I'm finally ready to be a mum - 3 months ago the idea frightened the life out of me.
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  #37  
March 3rd, 2009, 03:27 AM
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Location: London, UK
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I have had two natural miscarriages, and I am also the lucky mother of five healthy children. In the course of my childbearing and loss I have learned more than I had ever wanted to know, and I will try to put down the most useful information and tips which have helped me, below. I'm not good at being brief, so bear with me. The first miscarriage was my third pregnancy; I started bleeding at 12 weeks, went for a scan and found the baby had died at 9-10 weeks. The second miscarriage was my seventh pregnancy; I no longer felt pregnant after about 9 weeks and went to the doctor and asked for a scan at 11 weeks, where it was found that the my baby had died at 8 1/2 weeks. As I understand it, if you miscarry a baby which died before around 7 weeks then it is often just like a heavy period, because the pregnancy sac is not very big. However, the larger the fetus, the more you have to dilate in order to pass it, so the miscarriage can become more like a small labour.

In both cases, I was offered the choice of ERPC under general anaesthetic, 'medical management' , which is basically the abortion pill & you go into hospital and have it on a day ward, or 'expectant management' , ie awaiting a natural miscarriage and going to hospital if you need help or change your mind at any point. ERPC is 'evacuation of retained products of conception' and is usually done via dilation and vacuum extraction - it's what they're supposed to do nowadays instead of a (dilation and curettage) D&C, because it's much less risky, but many people still call it D&C although 'curettage' , or scraping the uterus out, carries significant risks. I am in England, and our Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists has published very clear and helpful guidelines on 'management of early pregnancy loss' which set out the pros and cons of each approach pretty well, and give references for all sources. They say that curettage should be avoided wherever possible because of the risk of damage to the uterus, and that natural miscarriage has some advantages. For instance, infection rates are higher if you have an ERPC, but that women who choose expectant management need lots of information, telephone support, and must have access to 24-our admission (ie an Accident and Emergency department at the least). You can read these guidelines at http://www.rcog.org.uk/womens-health/clini...ss-green-top-25 or try www.rcog.org.uk and search if that link doesn't work. Another source of information I found very helpful was the Miscarriage Association, at www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

Anyway, my first natural miscarriage was awful, but my second seems, so far, to have been very positive. I think this is as much down to preparation as it is to luck.

My first miscarriage was in 2002 and it came as a total shock, in an awful week. On the Monday I was looking at pictures of baby development with my lovely mother-in-law and we were excitedly looking at pictures of a 12-week foetus and imagining that mine looked like that. On the Tuesday my MIL was taken into hospital as an emergency admission, and on the Wednesday I started bleeding and found out that the baby had been dead for a couple of weeks at least. The next day we found out that my MIL was critically ill and in intensive care. An old friend also died that week, and my dog was on her last legs - emotionally I was all over the place. I was just so shocked about the miscarriage, though; I had thought that these things only happened to other women. After all, I had two healthy children to prove my fertility.

I had wondered why it was traditional to wait until 12 weeks to announce a pregnancy. What's so important abou 12 weeks? After all, surely every week the pregnancy continued meant the chances of a miscarriage were lower? Actually I found out that it not quite how it works. The corpus luteum (the empty egg follicle on your ovary) can maintain your endometrium for up to around 12 weeks once a pregnancy has started, but after this, the body needs hormonal input from a developing placenta to stop the endometrium shedding and a period coming on. This means that there is a 'late peak' of miscarriages at about 12 weeks, in cases where the baby died at some earlier stage of pregnancy, but the ovarian hormones have maintained the pregnancy thus far. This is the sort that's often called a 'missed abortion' or a 'silent miscarriage' or 'missed miscarriage', but I think that is misleading. The terminology suggests that the mother's body has somehow failed to miscarry, but in fact it's just waiting until the right time. I suppose nowadays lots of women go for a scan before, or around, 12 weeks, and so find that their baby is dead before they had any bleeding, and that must come as an awful shock. I was grateful, with my first miscarriage, that I started bleeding before I knew for sure. It meant that I had a few hours to gradually come to terms with the idea; I still had a little hope, but I knew that the chances were, I was miscarrying.

When the scan confirmed that my baby had died at about 10 weeks or just before, a very sympathetic female doctor told me my options. This was in 2002 and the default position then was to advise ERPC in this situation, but to make it clear that expectant management was acceptable too. She put some things beautifully - she said that my baby had died but that my body wanted this baby so much, it didn't want to let go of it and that was why I hadn't miscarried so far. I thought that was a very kind way to describe the situation. However, she went on to say that because I hadn't miscarried naturally so far, it didn't look like I was going to do it on my own and therefore I should probably have the ERPC. I thought this was not logical - after all, I had just started to bleed, so clearly my body *was* starting to do something on its own. I didn't know as much then about the way pregnancy hormones work in the first trimester and why this 'late peak' of miscarriages at 12 weeks exists. It is also nonsense to think that anyone would go for ever without miscarrying naturally, too - OK, you might occasionally hear of rare cases, but for the vast majority of women, your body takes care of it within a few weeks - the problem is you don't know when or where. Anyway, the doctor offered me medical management too - tablets of mifepristone, to break down the womb lining, followed by misoprostol to bring on a labour to expel the baby. Now, I have done voluntary work in maternity care, researching and writing articles and have been a member of the local hospital's maternity committee, and I moderate a midwifery discussion egroup. From all this I was aware that there are concerns over the safety of misoprostol and that, while this procedure is generally fine, it does carry risks - as does a vacuum evacuation. My top concern was to preserve my fertility, because I really wanted a large family. So I said I wanted to wait for a natural miscarriage and think about my options. The doctor was great and said that I could take my time making a decision, I could change my mind and opt for the ERPC or the pills at any stage, and that although two sonographers had confirmed that my baby was dead, it was vital that I was 100% sure of that before making any decisions, so I could come back for as many scans as I needed before I was ready to take action.

So... I had all the information I needed about the procedures the hospital could do, but I didn't actually have much information about what a natural miscarriage would be like, or how long it might take. I wish I'd seen this forum then. I tried to get on with life but I was panicking and grieving and shocked, and felt under pressure from the kind hospital doctor who thought I couldn't miscarry naturally, so I decided to try alternative therapies. I now think this was foolish - if I was declining medical intervention because of concerns about its risks, surely I should have researched the risks of alternative therapies too, not just rushed blindly in - but I did. I went to see a herbalist and explained the situation to him. He looked really shocked and refused to help me, saying it was dangerous to try to bring on a miscarriage and I should ask for help from the doctors. I think he may have thought I was actually trying to get an abortion - or maybe he was just cautious. So I went to another herbalist, a woman this time, and she recommended a homeopathic remedy. I said I didn't really do homeopathy, and I'd prefer herbalism because I knew that actually worked for me, so she recommended two herbs, and said she thought there was something else I needed to have and she'd phone me later with the details. I couldn't wait - I went away and took the highest dose she'd described (I think she'd advised me to start off gently, but I didn't), and it was very effective - within about an hour things started to happen.

I was having strong contractions that I needed to breathe through, just like in the first stage of labour - like strong period pains but getting much stronger. These contractions increased and were really getting quite painful - I couldn't sit down and was pacing around. My 4 year-old and 18 month-old were at home with me and I couldn't get hold of my husband, and it didn't occur to me to ask a friend to come round to help. I had no idea what to expect. After a couple of hours of this, I was on the toilet and felt a pop, just like waters breaking, and then the tiny baby fell into the loo. I fished it out - it was about the size of a butterbean, and had fingers and toes and eyes. I wrapped it in tissue and put it in a container. As soon as the baby came out, all the pain stopped and I felt so relieved - but then the bleeding started. I was having gushes of blood and clots, then it would all stop and I'd think it was over, then 10 minutes later there'd be another big gush. I was out of sanitary pads and was using facecloths instead. Each gush soaked a facecloth completely and left it dripping. I put them all in a bucket. By the end of the evening there was well over an inch of blood in the bucket. No pain, but the gushing continued. My husband came home and I went to bed, taking our toddler so I could nurse him - I hoped the nursing would help my uterus to contract down, as it does after birth, but it wasn't working enough. My husband didn't know anything about miscarriage either, so he was downstairs with our first child, and didn't know to check on me, so I was lying there bleeding and getting weak, not knowing when or if to call for help. Eventually a friend came round and we asked her to look after the children, and we went to hospital.

I had to sit on a plastic bag in the car because the blood was soaking through my trousers and a towel quickly. When I went into A&E, they very quickly brought a wheelchair out and rushed me through when they saw the blood - which was a welcome surprise, because I was expecting the 'traditional' British 4-hour wait to get seen. I was assessed quickly and a young gynaecologist came to see me. She ordered a drip, which was done immediately, and then said she'd like to give me something to stop the bleeding but couldn't until they were sure the fetus had been passed completely. I explained that it had, but she said she was sorry, she couldn't be sure unless she'd seen it as sometimes women made mistakes about clots etc.. I said I was sure - I'd seen its fingers and toes, but she couldn't take my word for it. Then my husband explained that he was a former biologist and had also been a med student before changing, and that he could confirm it was a complete fetus. It pissed me off that she would take his word but not mine, but I can understand why. It would have been easier if we'd brought the tiny baby in with us, but I had deliberately left it at home, not wanting it treated as clinical waste. So, the doctor ordered the A&E nurses to get me ergometrine to make my uterus contract down and stop the bleeding, and she apologised that there were no beds on the gynae ward as they were full up, so I'd have to stay in A&E for now. I passed another pint or so of clots there - a huge mass on the trolley bed - I was surprised that nobody was measuring blood loss, considering how careful they are to do this after you've given birth. But thinking it was all taken care of, I told my husband to go home to the children and to leave me in safe hands. Ha. So he went, and I waited for my injection. I was in a curtained-off cubicle in A&E, and drunk men were arguing just outside my curtain. The place was very busy and there was noise everywhere, but because I was behind a curtain (very necessary given the drunk men and me still losing tons of blood and naked from the waist down...), the nurses couldn't really observe me. An hour or so later, the doctor came back from the gynae ward to check on me, and was shocked to find I still hadn't been given the ergometrine. She told the nurses again to do it, and told me again that she'd tried to get me on the ward but they were full up. *Very* occasionally a nurse would pop her head into my cubicle. I asked when they were going to give me the injection as I was still bleeding, although fortunately it had slowed. She said it would be done when I went up to the ward. This continued for four hours - hourly visits from the doctor, each time expressing disbelief that I hadn't been given the drugs, and each time nurses telling me they weren't supposed to be doing it. After four hours I felt really weak and realised I was about to lose consciousness, and it was so noisy in A&E that maybe nobody would find out for ages. I summoned all my strength to shout out "I'm going to faint and I need ergometrine NOW!". A nurse came in and gave me the ergometrine, and then I fainted. The next day I had a scan to check there was nothing obvious left behind, and then I discharged myself. I declined a blood test because I didn't want anything else to keep me hanging around there, and because I would have declined a transfusion anyway because of the risks; I'd prefer to treat the blood loss with supplements and a good diet. After that awful experience I thought that, if I were ever unlucky enough to find myself in the same situation again, I'd go for the ERPC or the medical management, just to avoid the risk of ending up in A&E again. I went home, and the next day we buried the tiny baby in the garden.

I will always wonder if the haemorrhaging after the miscarriage was caused by the herbs I took. They were clearly very effective, but it was as if my uterus remained in 'pushing out' mode, and didn't actually clamp down. I know that it could have been just the same if I'd had a truly natural miscarriage and not taken anything, as I've heard of very similar cases (and there's one on this page). But I feel it was naive of me - I know that medical intervention carries risks as well as benefits, so of course any herbs powerful enough to produce the same result as misoprostol could carry the same risks. Another concern is that I pushed my body into expelling the baby before it was ready, ie before the endometrium had broken down enough, and this may have made it harder for the placental tissue to separate properly, which could be why my uterus didn't contract down quickly. I was kind of surprised at how laid-back the doctors were about the amount of blood I'd lost; I am used to maternity care, where over 500mls is classified as a postpartum haemorrhage and over 1 litre as a serious PPH - and that's at the end of pregnancy, where your blood volume is increased by 50% so you have 3 'spare' pints to lose, if you like. Here I was having lost probably about 1,500 mls and nobody had bothered to collect or measure or even to make sure I was OK when I was in A&E. I went for several follow-up scans to see if my uterus was completely clear and came to recognise the bleak looks on the faces of the women being wheeled through the Early Pregnancy Unit. You could just *tell* when a woman had lost her baby.

A couple of days after the miscarriage, we had a 4-hour drive to see my mother-in-law, who was unconscious in intensive care and was given a 40% chance of survival. She stayed that way for about three weeks, before, thankfully, making it and spending another two years before she died. We were driving up there to see her several times a week. I felt so bleak; I remember in one hospital waiting room reading an article about the artist Frida Kahlo, who had repeated miscarriages, and her friend who wrote "She loses her fetuses in pools of blood" and I thought about all the women who have been through this. I was shocked and traumatised and kept thinking I saw fetuses everywhere - in gravel, in mud, I kept seeing tiny shapes like my baby. I was weak and breathless all the time, but took a top-quality iron supplement and physically was OK after about two weeks. However, emotionally things were very difficult - I kept getting flashbacks and my next pregnancy was a very anxious one. I hated seeing pregnant women 'flaunting their fertility' with tops bearing slogans like 'Baby on board!' or 'I'm not fat, I'm pregnant!' - I thought they were rubbing people's noses in their reproductive failures, and I've not worn anything like that myself since, because I've wondered how it must feel for women who can't have a baby to see that. Even after my fourth baby was born, I still thought about the one I'd lost all the time. We moved house and I had another baby, but still I kept thinking about the missing one. I went back to the old house, with many apologies to the new owners, and dug up the clump of bulbs I'd planted on top of the lost baby, hoping that some trace of its tiny body was still fertilising the soil that clung to them. I replanted the lot in a tub with a beautiful Acer tree that we'd planted in memory of a beloved cat. And yesterday I buried another one there.

This is getting very long, but my recent natural miscarriage was about as positive as it could be. From 8-9 weeks I noticed that my pregnancy symptoms were not very strong. I'd been consistently nauseous until 11-16 weeks in the five successful pregnancies, whereas it had stopped before 10 weeks when I had my first miscarriage. This time I no longer felt pregnant after 9 weeks, and I felt there was a high chance that the baby had died. At 11 weeks I went to the doctor with my concerns and was referred for a scan, where it showed that the baby had died at about 8 1/2 weeks. I was sad but relieved in a way, as it confirmed something I'd thought likely. I fantasised before the scan that the sonographer would say "No, you silly woman, look, it's twins and they're lovely and healthy!" But instead she told me exactly what I'd expected. This time I saw a specialist nurse who informed me that the three options of natural miscarriage, ERPC or medical management (pills) were all available and it was entirely my choice, that natural miscarriage was just as good a choice as the others, and she warned me of the risks of torn uterus with an ERPC and of heavy bleeding with medical management. She gave me a very informative booklet from the Miscarriage Association which had lots about what to expect. I asked if it was possible to be admitted directly to a ward if I started to bleed heavily, but she said no, I'd still have to go via A&E. She clearly didn't think it was ideal either, but that was the situation. I decided that, despite my previous experience, I still didn't want to risk a general anaesthetic or medical intervention without good reason. Logically I knew that women's bodies must be capable 'normally' of miscarrying without losing so much blood. We know that most women can give birth naturally, but that some need help - and surely it's the same with miscarriage. I didn't want to risk ending up in A&E again, I didn't want to go through that labour again, but then I didn't want the other options, either. There is no nice way of ending a pregnancy which is not going to result in a live baby. You have the choice of three unpleasant alternatives. So, with some trepidation, I decided to stick with expectant management - but this time, I would be prepared.

I phoned the clinic the next day and spoke to the nurse again. I described again the gushes of blood I'd had with my previous miscarriage, and asked if she had any thoughts on it. She said that sometimes they saw that when there was a piece of tissue left behind, often when stuck in the neck of the womb. It could be very hard to see and very painful to remove in hospital, but that gushes of blood were the body's only way of washing it out. It made me feel better to think that perhaps there was a good, physiological reason for what my body did last time. I asked her for guidance on when I should go to hospital if I needed help. She said I should go in if it was too painful and no over-the-counter medicines helped, and if I was bleeding and it was like a tap running. I explained that I'd lost about a litre of blood in a bucket at home last time, and she suggested I went in before it got to that stage. I asked if it was OK to take codeine - she said yes, but drink lots of water with it as it could cause constipation and that could make the miscarriage more painful. Then I went away and read up, again, and read this forum, and the Miscarriage Association's site, and decided to prepare.

I put together a 'hospital bag' of things that I might need, whether I ended up in hospital or stayed at home. If I stayed at home, it would all be handy, by my bedside or wherever I ended up. I bought the strongest painkillers I could get without prescription - I chose a combination of codeine and paracetamol, then had separate ibuprofen available. This meant I could take ibuprofen when pain started, and still have the option of taking the codeine/paracetamol afterwards. A bottle of water, to wash the tablets down. Cereal bars, in case I ended up hungry in hospital. A variety of sanitary towels, clean pants, black sweat pants, clean t-shirt, toothbrush, baby wipes, tissues. A measuring jug, so that I could measure and record my blood loss, for my own reassurance and so I could give more information if I ended up in hospital. A top-quality iron supplement (I use Spatone because it's absorbed very quickly and doesn't cause gastric symptoms). I cleaned the toilet thoroughly so it would be more pleasant to spend time on it, and also in case I had to scoop anything out of it.

I prepared emotionally. I was ready to say goodbye to this baby and it was not a shock to find that it was dead. I had used hypnotherapy with great effect during my last labour - my first four labours, although all straightforward and natural, lasted about 8 hours each and were all hard work. For my 5th, I had listened to Natal Hypnotherapy CDs while I relaxed, and I had a dream of a labour - my daughter was born only an hour and a half after I woke up, and only the last 20 minutes were hard work. So I was very aware that my emotional state could affect the way my body worked, and I knew what my body could do - but I also knew that I was ready to seek help if I needed it. I practised some of the visualisations from the hypnotherapy CDs, visualising myself relaxing on a beach, but this time saying goodbye to the baby, and repeating that my body could release this baby safely, and visualising myself having a smooth miscarriage and recovering well afterwards. I used to think this sort of thing was all hippie nonsense, but I saw for myself what a difference it made with my last labour. I was thinking, too, of what we know now about the third stage of labour - how, if you are having a physiological third stage, your oxytocin levels are maximised if you are somewhere you feel safe, and warm, and comfortable. You need oxytocin to make the uterus contract to expel the baby and to clamp down after a miscarriage, too, but it's a hormone that is associated with bonding and feeling happy - it's called the 'love hormone' - and you can imagine that maybe it's hard to get that particular hormone flowing well when you're miscarrying.

I had the scan on the Wednesday when I was technically 11 weeks + 1 day, and started spotting on the Saturday morning. For 36 hours the bleeding stayed light - mostly brown discharge, 'old' blood. On Sunday night I started getting contractions, like period pains. They got fairly tight quite quickly and I held a hot water bottle on to soothe them. I took ibuprofen but don't know if it did much. I sat up in bed and concentrated on the hypnotherapy stuff- when a contraction came I focussed on thinking of it as a feeling of warmth and pressure, rather than pain, which is what I'd done with the hypnotherapy for birth. It was amazingly effective - I really felt those tight, painful feelings turn to warmth, like the hot water bottle being pressed on my tummy, and instead of being painful it became comforting. I focused on that image of me on a beach, saying I was ready to say goodbye to my baby and that I was feeling peaceful - I can't remember exactly what, even thought it was only yesterday, but it really took me out of myself and out of the moment and into a nicer place. I felt my cervix and, although the contractions were strong, I could feel it was like a nose - firm and long and not dilated, so I thought there was a while to go. I took some of the codeine and paracetamol tablets and watched a film, then went to bed. I thought I'd probably wake up after a couple of hours with the miscarriage progressing, but in fact I had a sound sleep and lovely dreams and woke up well rested.

In the morning, the contractions resumed and I started to bleed fresh red blood. I checked my cervix and it was effaced and wide, like a smile rather than a nose. I needed to keep moving, so I took the kids and dogs out for a walk, wearing a thick pad, but soon found the blood had soaked through pad and trousers and I started to feel shivery and tearful, so I phoned a friend and asked her to come round, and rushed home. It was only 10 minutes' walk but I was very keen to get back. I rushed upstairs and started passing blood and clots - stringy long clots at first, then bigger ones, several the size of the palm of my hand. Blood clots look like liver but feel like thick jelly and you can easily poke your finger through them - it's useful to know the difference between them and placental tissue, which also looks like liver but is much more fibrous and is very difficult to poke a finger through. Anyway, the contractions were getting a bit tough again, so I took some ibuprofen, but didn't get as far as the codeine this time. I felt positive about the contractions because I knew they were opening me up and that each contraction was bringing the end closer. I was very, very glad that my friend was downstairs with the kids and my husband was notified and on his way home. I felt calm and just keen for it to be over. Then another friend called, who didn't know what was happening, phoned up and I was glad to have a distraction - I told her what was happening, then asked about her life, and we chatted for half an hour. I thought my contractions must nearly have stopped because it wasn't difficult. I put the phone down, went to the toilet, and there it was - a sudden movement through me, and a splash. No pain. I scooped it up and there it was - a tiny baby, about 2cms long, and a sac and placental tissue which was much larger than I expected, covering about 2/3 of my palm when spread out. Then nothing - I was waiting for the blood to gush, but instead I just felt peaceful. I don't remember seeing much placental tissue last time, so I wonder if that was what was left behind and maybe caused the bleeding; it was reassuring to see a substantial lump this time. Half an hour later I passed a few more clots, but I caught them in a measuring jug and was reassured to see that actually, although they were the size of my palm, their actual volume wasn't very great. That was yesterday, and there were only a few small gushes of clots. Apart from the occasional clot and after the first few hours, the bleeding is just like a period. I feel completely well and calm and peaceful. I went to the garden and buried the tiny baby in the Acer's pot, and felt acceptance. I plan to take it easy for a while, but at the moment I feel optimistic and so glad that I have not had to go into hospital and have my baby removed under general anaesthetic, or spent a miserable day on the day ward. It was sad, but straightforward, and I think about as good as a miscarriage of a baby this size could be.
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  #38  
May 19th, 2009, 04:05 PM
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Join Date: May 2009
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Thank you all for sharing your experiences; they were helpful to read as I was going through my own miscarriage. I wanted to post my own experience because it was different from any of the ones I'd read about. I miscarried when the embryo measured 7 weeks, 5 days.

Last Thursday, I went to the OB for my second appointment. I had been nervous about the pregnancy because the first time I went in, although I did see a heartbeat, the embryo was measuring smaller than I was expecting based on the date of my last period and the date I took the pregnancy test. So I did have an inkling that something might be wrong, but of course, never having been pregnant before, I didn't know for sure. The OB did an ultrasound and could not find a heartbeat. (I ultimately went to the hospital for a confirmation ultrasound on a better machine, and a blood test to make sure I was not anemic, as that could make a natural miscarriage and the attendant blood loss more dangerous.)

My OB asked what I wanted to do in terms of a natural miscarriage, an outpatient D&C or a D&C where I would be knocked out. My initial answer was a natural miscarriage, but that I wanted to think about it/do some research. I was basically in shock, at that point, I think. So I went for the second ultrasound, which confirmed that I had miscarried at 7 weeks, 5 days (which was just a few days earlier).

I went home and cried a lot, then researched my options, and was then inclined to the D&C where I was knocked out. The natural miscarriage meant I would basically have to go through the labor process and would not know when things would happen or what to expect (everyone's stories on this board and others varied a lot); the outpatient D&C meant I would be awake and it would hurt, plus there would be a suction-type machine and it might be emotionally difficult. I have never been knocked out before, which was scary, and the invasive procedure was a little scary too, but I have three friends who have had that, and who all have healthy babies and who said the experience was not that bad. So I scheduled that for this Friday, because we wanted one particular doctor to do it.

On Friday, I cried a lot. At night, there was some very light spotting, but nothing further. On Saturday morning at 2AM, I woke up and began vomiting every hour, on the hour, for about 12 hours, accompanied with hot flashes. (This was not something I had read about or expected to have happen, which is partly why I thought I should post the story here.) I ended up dehydrated and miserable, and since there was no bleeding at all, it felt really pointless and just cruel, that I was going through it for no reason. We finally called the doctor (which we should have done MUCH EARLIER) who said to take Kaopectate and that I could try sipping fluids. The Kaopectate did stop the vomiting, and it turned out drinking fluids (watered down Gatorade and apple juice) did not make the vomiting worse, but made dehydrated me feel better. So if you are going through this, TAKE KAOPECTATE EARLIER.

On Sunday, some minor bleeding and cramps. On Monday, the bleeding and cramps got much heavier, and it was a surprise to me that it felt like a trickle at times, like the feeling of a heavy bloody nose. Not a lot of clotting that I could see; certainly not much more than a normal period. But the cramps were worse. I took a lot of Advil, 800 mg every four hours or so. I considered having some wine to help me sleep (but ultimately did not... but I have a friend who drank a little alcohol at points during her m/c, to help with the pain and anxiety, and I don't think it's a bad suggestion).

The doctor told me to come in if I soaked through more than one pad an hour. At this point it was seeming like I would miscarry naturally, which scared me. I read a lot of stuff online about how it is basically a mini version of labor, and it hurts A LOT. So I constantly expected it to get really bad, and was basically full of dread all the time, especially when I was alone. I ended up taking 5mg of Valium (my OB said if they do an outpatient D&C they give you Valium anyway, so I knew it was safe to take). But on Monday night, the bleeding slowed down again, and stopped overnight.

This morning I woke up and called the doctor. (As I was on hold, the cramping and bleeding increased once again.) They told me to come in, and I was assuming I would have to have the outpatient D&C after all, which made me really scared, both because I was expecting it to be extremely painful, and because I wasn't sure it was the right choice, and I didn't know any of the doctors on call. Anyway, I got there and first one of the OBs did an exam. She was very nice, very positive, very reassuring that we had done nothing wrong and sometimes these things happen.

First she did an exam with a speculum and removed some tissue that was still at the cervical opening (that part was very uncomfortable and almost painful at points; I was already cramping pretty bad by that point). Then she did an ultrasound and said it didn't look like there was any embryonic sac left in the uterus, that it had already passed. I was really surprised because I would never have expected that to happen and me not even notice it. I said I had not noticed any significant tissue and she basically said it was what she had pulled out with forceps, and would I like to see it?

I sent my husband (who had fainted at the first bad-news ultrasound) go away for this part but then she showed me everything; it was fascinating and bloody, but not emotionally traumatic at all, to me. (At least not yet.) The sac itself was like an oversized grape, it was grayish in color, but covered in blood, of course. And I felt a lot of relief that it was over and I had not needed an invasive procedure and that it had not even hurt very much. The cramping has been bad, of course, at points, but completely manageable with lots of Advil and a heating pad. If I needed some help to fall asleep, I might have a glass of wine or a Valium (probably not both).

I hope this story helps someone the way your stories have helped me. This is my first post here, and I hope that this story ultimately has a happy ending; this was our first pregnancy.

Last edited by MLambert; May 19th, 2009 at 04:24 PM.
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  #39  
September 7th, 2009, 02:09 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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I was 6 weeks 3 days when I started to m/c. It was my 1st preg. So I didnt know what to expect. I started a light spotting and over the next 5 days it slowly increased. Then I was at work when I felt a popping and then a gushing sensation, I ran to the bathroom and discovered a bunch of blood, so I put on a pad and had a friend rush me to the ER, they did an u/s and discovered that it had been triplets and that one implanted near my cervix and so my mucous plug didnt form properly, they thought I just might miscarry the one but the cramping took the other two also. They wanted to do a D/C but I refused one as I felt like I wanted to just do this naturally and on my own terms. I wanted to feel the physical pain to match the emotional pain I was/am feeling inside. I've had heavy cramping and heavy bleeding with alot of tissue and clots for 4 days. It took about a full day for pregnancy symptoms to disappear. I've also had alot of back pain and diarrhea the whole time. The cramping has been the worst pain I have ever felt and I have a very high pain tolerance to them due to severe cramping during af as a young teen.
I am still in the process of m/s naturally but I still prefer my choice over a d/c because I could deal with it on my own terms, with my DH's, best friend's, and my auntie's(whos a OB RN) constant support instead of some cold hospital setting. The bleeding is slowly tapering off today and so far no more clots. It's been heartwrenching but I feel that doing this naturally has given me the time and chance to say goodbye.
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October 10th, 2009, 12:38 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 2
After my post in February 2009, I found myself pregnant again very quickly. This pregnancy felt strong from the start and I was very nauseous - I felt reassured by this. Unfortunately it was not to be and I have a third natural miscarriage experience to add to this thread. This one was the easiest - I think being prepared emotionally helped a lot.

At 11 weeks, out of the blue, I started bleeding - while preparing the children's tea. As I'd been feeling nauseous that week I still had some hope, but the bleeding increased from light spotting to something like a period during the night and I knew that this baby wasn't for keeping either. By the morning I was cramping heavily and I phoned my family doctor. I wanted the option of investigations after this miscarriage, and analysis of the tissue, and I wanted to know if this could be arranged if I miscarried at home. She said that to have the best chance of investigations, I should go to the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital and have a scan and just get on their books, and talk to them about it.

I threw together a bag with a plastic jug (I wanted to keep a check on my blood loss), spare pants and trousers, baby wipes, water, painkillers etc.., put on dark jogging trousers and a dark t-shirt (old hand at this, don't want blood to show and know it needs to be easily pulled down) and called a taxi. While I was on my way there, things stepped up - I was cramping and bleeding, nothing like as much as the last miscarriage but it was clear my body meant business . When I got to the clinic I just had time to check in then ran to the toilet and had a few more contractions and passed the pregnancy sac. I had caught it in the jug - as an old hand again, I knew that I would need to catch anything significant that came out I was surprised it had happened so quickly. I couldn't see any baby in the sac, but there was the same sort of amount of placental tissue as I'd seen in the last miscarriage. I cleaned up and took the jug out (inside a carrier bag) and found a nurse. She went off to check it and I had to sit back in the crowded waiting room with 30 other women, having just miscarried.. The staff were apologetic and kind but nobody offered me anywhere private. The other people in the clinic were in with miscarriage, early pregnancy investigations, and STDs I think. You can tell from some women's faces that they are having miscarriages. Anyway, not ideal, but hey, this is the NHS. I suppose I'd rather miscarry in a crowded outpatient clinic than in a crowded A&E unit full of drunk men, like the first time.

I was called in to see the nurse again and she confirmed that there was a full-size pregnancy sac for 11 weeks, but no detectable fetus. Then I had a scan to see if anything was left, but the miscarriage was complete. I had moderate bleeding at this stage but I felt it was OK. Saw a doctor next who said that normally she'd like to keep me in for observation for a while given the blood loss (I didn't think it was anything much myself) but that my condition was OK and if I was happy to go, she was happy too - and basically I don't think they had anywhere to put me. We talked about investigations. I have now had 3 miscarriages where the baby has died some time before I spontaneously miscarried, and as I've also had healthy children, this suggests the problem is entirely to do with the fetuses and nothing to do with my body, basically. She felt there was little point doing chromosomal analysis as there is absolutely nothing that could be done about it anyway (unless you were going to go down the route of IVF with pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, which I'm not). I agreed with her assessment, so I was just sent home. I felt resigned to it all. This time I felt much less upset. If anything I was very realistic about it. I think that miscarriage is just another variant of 'normal' - it's just as 'normal' as having a healthy baby, it's just one of the outcomes that people don't want to talk about.

Because this miscarriage happened so quickly, I didn't have time to think my options through again. I realised after the second miscarriage that I had been incredibly anxious, worrying that it would go badly, and so I guess with the third one I was better prepared because I knew that my body could actually deal with this sad situation efficiently. It was actually physically very easy, and there is no way I would have wanted to take the risks of a general anaesthetic, vacuum evacuation or even taking misoprostol etc in a medical management, instead of this.

Now I'm in early pregnancy again. I really hope I won't be posting here about another miscarriage - but I'm just trying to pace myself and think only of the first 12 weeks, and nothing after.
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