[*Firefly*]

I lost Charlie on the 12/05/05, I never made it too the doctors I'm not sure how far along I was but I guess at about 10 weeks from information I have read.
I was at home, I was in bed and I had been having some very light spotting, so light i thought nothing of it.
But on the 12th May 2005 the pain and bleeding commenced. I just layed in bed on my back head on my pillow , I had shoved sanitary towels into my underwear and laid on a towel and after that I didn't move, not once the whole night. I remember silently crying. Just lying in the dark all night so numbed by the shock and the pain drove over me in waves by the morning the bleeding had reduced to a still a heavy flow but a lot lighter than before. I told my mother I was on my period. I told Charlie's dad, he was a 10 minute walk from me and he left me on my own... I just remember thinking, burning alive has to be les painful than this...

I lost Isabel and Susannah on the 05/08/05 only three months or so after Charlie... I again never made it to the doctors but I would say around 5/6 weeks based on my reading. I spent two of these weeks on Holiday in Italy. We drove down there. One the way back it all happened. At the end of the first day of driving my muscles had cramped so badly I could barely stand and the amount of blood I was loosing was ridiculous, I again just blamed my period to my mother and layed in bed silently not sleeping but crying.

I never discuss my first misscarriage...