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This is what I posted a week after my natural m/c in July. I figured it was better to just repost it then try to reword it since the emotions were so raw.
I can't believe I've had to go through this again! 3 m/c in 8.5 months and no answers and only a path of pain and heartache to show for it! I had my 3rd m/c last week and this one was natural (and by far the worse to deal with since I had surgery for the ectopic in Oct 05 and a D&C in May). I was really freaked out by it since I was expecting bad cramps and bad bleeding like I had read, but it didn't happen like that for me.
On Monday, while I was at work, I started to spot and by the afternoon I was bleeding heavy like AF was here. On Tuesday I started to pass lots of blood clots and that continued for 2 more days. By Friday things had tapered off and I was spotting and by Saturday there was no more bleeing or spotting. There wasn't really any bad cramps (considering that I have Endo and get really bad cramps) and was able to control them with Aleve.
Emotionally I was a wreck! I found this past loss to be far worse physically and emotionally since my hormones were coming down gradually and I didn't have surgery. Also since I didn't know what to expect I was a jumble of nerves. I took Thursday & Friday off from work for mental sanity more than anything else.
When I woke up today I felt like nothing had happened and it was all a bad nightmare. It's weird how our brain's categorize life experiences. I had my HCG levels tested last Monday and I went again this morning to have my HCG levels tested again to confirm that they are indeed falling. I'm a little crampy today but no spotting so I'm thinking my uterus is trying to get back to normal.
I've managed to get an appointment to see our former RE specialist on Aug 15th. I can't believe we got in so fast, but I'm glad we don't have to wait. Now that I can conceive with no issues I'm faced with a whole new fertility issue in that I can't carry a baby to term. I keep loosing our little bean around the 6 week mark (either via ectopic or m/c).
After this last m/c I'm convinced that I've had a m/c at least one other time and I didn't know I was pg. Since my cycles were so messed up for years and I never knew when I O'd or when I was late, I'm convinced that I've gone through this before. The clotting and heavy bleeding was completely different from a regular AF (even if AF was heavy).
So now I'm a little disheartened to know that I can't carry a baby to term. I'm aching to find out what is causing my m/c and feel horrible that my body is causing this. I'm praying that it's something simple to diagnose and remedy. I'm terrified of TTC again to only m/c again. I feel like I would be setting myself up for failure and doom yet another little bean with my faulty body.