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I've been lurking around and reading everybody's stories for awhile. They helped me so much through our difficult time that I thought I'd share my own. The past few weeks have been such a chaotic time for me that I haven't had time to really come to terms with our loss. I'm hoping that getting it all out there will help.
We found out we were pregnant with baby #2 on December 19th. We'd been trying since summer so were completely ecstatic! It was short-lived though. I started spotting a little brown on the 30th and just had a gut feeling that something was wrong. It was light and only lasted a few hours but started up again a few days later, a little heavier. I went in to see the Dr. and had an u/s and they checked my HCG levels. Things looked fine and my #'s were doubling.. the bleeding was almost gone. But I still felt soo wary..
January 13th I started spotting again, only this time it was red. Without sounding melodramatic I just knew it was the beginning of the end. We went into the ER and had another u/s and exam. The Dr. said she couldn't see anything at all (I was supposed to be about 6.5 weeks). They drew another HCG to see what was happening.. fully expecting my #'s to be low. Well they weren't so they sent me to radiology for a more in-depth u/s to make sure it wasn't an ectopic (it wasn't). He saw my bean there measuring 4 days-a week behind what it should have been. And later the nurse said he'd remarked that things looked "abnormal" though that wasn't mentioned to me.. They said we'd have to just wait and see. I was to come back the next morning for another HCG quant plus my 1st OB appointment was scheduled for that day.
The 14th came and, adding insult to injury I was told by the head nurse in OB that I WASN'T having my appointment but was there to be told the clinic was closing and to be referred to another Doctor. Gee, thanks!! I explained what was going on and that we were moving back to the US in less than a week. The OB who was following my case (though I hadn't actually met her yet!) told me she'd call when she got my blood test results. By then I was bleeding more heavily.. about like a period. She called and confirmed my worst fears but what I really already knew.. my #'s had started dropping. I chose to go ahead and take Cytotec to help things along. I took the pills that evening and within 10 minutes!!! had started cramping. Half an hour later they were so bad I was just pacing around the living room reminding myself to breathe. It felt like early labor pains. Luckily they didn't last too long. I started passing some clots and the bleeding picked up a lot. I went through about one pad an hour for awhile and then it slowed down enough that I went to bed. It wasn't until about 26 hours later that I passed my baby. I honestly thought I'd passed it earlier (and told the Dr. so on the phone!) but didn't realize I'd definitely be able to tell the difference between a blood clot and tissue. I sat on the toilet and cried for half an hour after I flushed. It was the worst, worst, WORST feeling in the world.
The heavy bleeding and clots continued for about 4-5 days. Then it was just like a medium flow AF for a week and tapered to light for a week, then spotting on and off. Here I am, almost 4 weeks later and I'm still spotting. The Dr isn't worried since my #'s are still dropping. I guess my body is just taking it's time. As of Wednesday my HCG was at 90.. Thursday it was down to 75. I'll go in later this week for, hopefully, my final blood draw.
It's been a long road and I'm hoping now that things are settled down at home I can finally begin coming to terms with my loss.
Just wanted to edit and say that my #'s got back to zero as of 2-29 and my spotting stopped a few days later!