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Ramblings to myself...


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  #21  
August 17th, 2009, 11:38 AM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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CD13...It is Monday and I am back at work...but we had a nice weekend.

I love nap time on the weekends! Both kids go down for a nap at the same time and DH and I sneak off into the bedroom Practice makes perfect! Hopefully one of these practice sessions will work and I will end up knocked up again
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  #22  
August 18th, 2009, 10:01 AM
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Yesterday DD was telling me how much she wants a little sister. She is sweet. Then she said "I bet you have a sister in your tummy now" so I told her I did not. She replied "but your tummy is getting bigger" She is not so cute anymore!
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  #23  
August 26th, 2009, 10:11 AM
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CD 21.... what a busy last 7 days. DS had Roseola and I have missed a couple days of work to care for him. Thank goodness he is feeling better now. And thank goodness that once you have had the stupid thing you don't often get it again! I was worried that DD would get sick too.

Well I should be Oing very soon. I never did start temping this month...oops. But DH and I have really been doing good and our bedroom lives have reflected this Maybe we will get lucky this months *fingers crossed*

Oh' and I started the 40 Day Love Dare! I am on Day #3 right now. I am really excited about it. But I have not told DH that I am doing it. I keep my book hiden at work I plan to give him my journal at the end of the 40 days and let him read it. But for now this is me working for him....and I don't want to feel obligated. I want to do it with an open heart KWIM.
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  #24  
August 31st, 2009, 12:28 PM
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CD27...9 days till testing

I don't really know when I O'd this month, hum. DH and I have been pretty connected lately and it is really hard for me to tell the difference between EWCM and SR. Sorry for the TMI

But I have had a lot of little crampy pinches lately. I have had 3 abdominal surgeries since 2005 so I have a fair amount of scare tissue. When I was pg with my DS I crapped the WHOLE pg b/c of it. So I am hoping that the cramps are a good sign.

Also I have had some creamy CM lately which is also a promissing sign. I am trying not to get my hopes up...but I HOPE I HOPE I HOPE
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  #25  
September 10th, 2009, 12:23 PM
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It has been a little while since I have updated so here we go...

CD 34 (Labor Day) Got a BFN. I was really hoping for a BFP just for the irony of it all

So now I am on CD 37...still no AF. This cycle is a little wacky since I quit BF DS earlier on in this cycle. My hormones are just Blah. I am pretty sure AF is on her way. I am broken out like a 13yo And just have that feeling.

*sigh* I am not going to lie, I am disappointed to not be pg. But I know God has a plan and it will happen in His time. That is really hard to except sometimes but I just have to be patient.
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  #26  
September 12th, 2009, 10:51 PM
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Kixs

I just read your posts... and your last statement was just said to me yesterday.. and I didn't want to hear it at that moment yesterday. I was having a very down day. Today is not as bad, still bad... but seeing you write it, another mom who has lost.. it ment more. Thank you. I hope AF stays away and God has chosen this to be your time. HUGS
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BFP 11/09/08 M/C 11/11/08 BFP 01/02/09 M/C 01/29/09 BFP 08/26/09 M/C 10/02/09 Missing our 3 Angles
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  #27  
September 14th, 2009, 10:26 AM
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(((HUGS))) Kary I am so sorry for your losses. Just read about your most recent one and my heart is hurting for you. Hope you are feeling a little better today.

From my experiences...2 living children and 3 angels...it is never easy to hear "in God's time" but it is true.

When I lost my 1st baby I heard that a lot and it made me so mad! Why would God give me a child just to snatch it away???!!!! How could a loving merciful God do this to me???

Maybe this is just my silly justification to help me cope with my losses but I see it this way:

He blessed me with a perfect little baby even if just for 6 short weeks. He knows best! And if He needed my angel back in Heaven then He had a very good reason. After all the world is much much bigger than just ME.

I know that God loves me and would never want to see me hurt. So He did not bring each one of my children to me without real cause and purpose. He has a plan for each of us...big and small.
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  #28  
September 14th, 2009, 11:00 AM
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Looks like I have still never been pg in August...AF showed up on CD 39....remember I had a post on the main board about how I have been pg in every month but August...craziness.

So now I am back on CD 2. I know it will happen when the time is right. Until then I just have to be patient. But if it happens for us this month that would mean another June baby DH's b-day is June 19th and DD is June 13th. My goddaughter is June 23rd and her daddy...DH's best friend is June 15th. June is a popular month in our family
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  #29  
September 16th, 2009, 09:20 AM
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CD 5...AF was really light this month. IDK what is going on with my body. Guess it is still just the left over hormones from BFing.

Well now that I am done BF and have my body back to myself maybe things will straighten out and I can get pg. Not that I am blaming BFing for me not getting pg. I am so blessed that I was able to BF DS for 1 year. It was such a beautiful relationship and I do miss it but he was done. But my homormones are just still a little off. Guess that is part of natural child spacing And that is what we believe in after all.

I bought some new bra's this passed week and DH asked me "why did you go an do that? I am just going to get you pg again and then they wont fit!" Silly DH! I love that he is so optimistic this time. TTC had always been very stressfull for us b/c of all our losses. But it is good that we are able to laugh and enjoy each other this time around.

We still have not told any of our friends or family that we are TTC. I don't know what they would think. We are already blessed with 2 living children, a girl and a boy, and people often assume we are done. *Sign*

I am kinda afriad of their reactions. I mean, DH and I are grown...he is 28 and I will be 28 in Nov, we both have good jobs, make decent money, own a home, can pay our bills, are months away from paying off our debt (expect the house and cars), why NOT have another child? We have the love to give!

Silly the way the world looks are children sometime. It use to be a big family was the norm and a blessing. Now tell people that you want 3 or 4 kids and they think you are a freak. And 3 or 4 kids is not even that many!

Okay I am done with my little rant Thanks for reading it if you made it this far.
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  #30  
September 25th, 2009, 10:23 AM
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Been a while since I rambled in here. Well I am on CD 14 and think I might actually be grearing up to O This never happens this early for me! I have a long cycle and normally O around CD 21-22. But I have had EWCM so I guess that eggie might be early this month.

On another note I got a new camera *happy dance* We stepped up from a point and shoot to a digital SLR And I got a fancy lens with it too! I have no idea how to work it yet but I plan to learn My little sister is in the drill team at school and they have a football game tonight so I am going to test out my new toy I am so exctied!
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  #31  
October 12th, 2009, 01:54 PM
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Sorry I have been MIA. Work has been really crazy! We are getting ready to move over to a new operating system and have been testing like crazy to make sure everything will process the way it should. Busy!

But I am on CD 31...we have more or less been NTNP and not really TTC this month. DD & DH both have June birthday and if we got pg this month I would be due in June. Not that I would not love another June baby but we just want our children to have their own special birthdays to celebrate.

5 days until testing...
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  #32  
October 16th, 2009, 11:39 AM
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*sigh* CD1
Back to the drawing board
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  #33  
November 11th, 2009, 09:49 AM
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Goodness it has been almost a month since I have rambled! Well I am still not knocked up yet But I know it will happen in God's perfect timing.

I am on CD27 of a 33d cycle... what I think is my new cycle lengeth. So I have a week left till testing. Kinda ironic since I found I was pg after Thanksgiving in 2007.

Still doing good not freaking out TTC. I really am enjoying it this time around. It has been very peaceful and not as stressful as in the passed.

My SIL was told she is able to start TTC this month She had that HUGE fibroid removed in August and had to wait 3 months. I am actually hoping she gets pg before me. We both lost angels in 2007 about a week a part and I have since been pg 2 other time...one ended in a loss but the other resulted in my DS. It may sound silly but I feel she deserves to be pg before me.

So I guess that means if I am pg this month it will be a secert for a while
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  #34  
November 13th, 2009, 08:19 AM
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CD 29...Hum....I think I am out this month...but then I think I am back in. I am really sleepy BUT I have the normal feelings 'down there' like I do before AF shows. Guess I will just have to wait and see...if I have another 33CD cycle AF should be here by Tuesday.

Ah! I has an amazing shopping day at Old Navy yesterday...and yes if you follow me I have posted about this on another board but I am just that excited about it! I got myself a long wool blend heavy coat. It is very nice and I hate to admit it but my 1st grown up coat...this one does not have a hood *gasp* And I got both my kids winter coats and DH 2 button down dress shirts. All of this cost me.....are you ready???? $97 out the door including tax!!! My coats full price was $99.50 So it is like I got everything else for FREE! I saved $128...I am on such a shopping high

So why am I posting about coats on a TTC tread??? B/c I ramble...and b/c when I was trying on coats I could not make up my mind on what size to buy. One size fit like a glove. The other size was just a little big. I got the bigger size justifying that I would need it for when I wore heavy sweaters. In reality I was thinking...IF I get pg I will need the bigger size for my belly. Wishful thinking

Funny how TTC even effects my clothing purchases.
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  #35  
November 16th, 2009, 09:39 AM
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UGH! I swear my uterus feels like it is going to fall out. The witch showed this morning and I have the worset cramps.

CD1 ... here we go again
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  #36  
November 25th, 2009, 01:08 PM
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Nothing new really going on with me. I was hoping I was pg last cycle but I knew I was not. BUT my friend in my PR...who also happend to be my cycle buddy since we were both TTC just got her BFP!!! I am way excited for her!

I know I will get my BFP when the time is right.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Even though I have lost 3 precious angels I am still very thankful to have had them in my life even for such a short time.
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  #37  
December 8th, 2009, 12:44 PM
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So DH and I have been happly NTNP since July and I am still not pg. But to be honest we both have been really busy with work the last couple of months and putting in long hours so the NT part was easy....we have had little time to try

But last night we were talking and he wants to get a little more serious about TTC. I am glad he feels this way and I am so blessed to have a DH that takes an active role in all this. But I scared...it feels like the presure is on again. Not that DH is pressuring me...but I pressure myself.

O' and I signed up for the PL Bible Study on the Christian Board!!! I am really excited about this. I am really in a good place with my losses and have good spiritual acceptence of them but I think that is Bible study will only continue to help me heal. It starts Jan 11th incase anyone was wondering
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  #38  
December 18th, 2009, 08:44 AM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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CD 33 and no AF yet My passed 2-3 cycles have been 33CD. I am really anxious. I don't want to test and get a BFN so I am going to wait it out and just stay hopeful.

Truthfully, I think AF is on her way...I am broke out so bad! I normally get a fe problem spots on my skin when she is on her way but since I stopped nursing Scott 4 months ago it had gotten better...this month this is not the case.

I have said it before and I will say it again but I WISH that a woman nails turned bright purple when she is pg It would just be so nice to have an obvious sign!
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  #39  
December 22nd, 2009, 11:43 AM
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Well it was another normal 33CD cycle...AF showed this passed Saturday..ho humm!

CD4...need to update my ticker.
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  #40  
January 2nd, 2010, 02:46 AM
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Okay - I haven't been on the TTC board in forever...but I wanted to say I LOVE love love this thread. It is so funny & heart warming & you seriously should have a blog. Thank you for sharing your TTC journey. It has been a wonderful read & I hope to stick around & be your TTC cheerleader (if you dont' mind) from now on since I know you are here!
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