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Stupid TTCAL question


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  #1  
September 3rd, 2010, 09:32 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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This might be a dumb questions and I apologize if it is. But is TTC after RPL different than just TTCAL? I am sure its stressful no matter what but do you think that it is worse after a second and third, etc loss? Do you find it easier to be here rather than the TTCAL board? I realized there was a board here and not on the PL board but there is a TTCAL board. If this made any sense. So it got me thinking that perhaps there are some differences once you enter the world of RPL. Any insight would be great. We aren't planning to DH just can't/won't. But just in case I thought I would ask .
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  #2  
September 4th, 2010, 08:09 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Not a dumb question at all.

Personally, I do find it different. For me the anxiety is higher. When you have one loss you can reason it to bad luck. When it keeps happening, you can no longer do that. Plus, a lot of our ladies end up having to use MA to conceive and stay pregnant. TTCARPL is more stressful for me, but Pregnancy...well that's a whole new level of anxiety.
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  #3  
September 4th, 2010, 08:57 AM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with Augie. While having one loss can be devastating to a lot of people, when you start getting into multiple losses it's a whole new ballgame. Like Augie said, once you've had multiple losses (especially in the 3 plus realm) you KNOW something is wrong, and there's always that fear that you will never be able to stay pregnant.

I sometimes have a harder time relating to women who have just had one loss. Not to undermine their loss, because any loss is heartbreaking, I just feel like the RPL girls get the magnitude of emotions I have that accompany having loss after loss.

And that's not a dumb question at all!
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  #4  
September 5th, 2010, 01:30 PM
Lex&angels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have to say I feel very differently about it. After my first loss I was devastataed, but I believed people who told me it was common and that the next time would probably be my sticky baby... so TTC again wasn't too scary, my main fear would be that I'd take 7+ months to conceive again. (since that's how long it took the first time)
After the second time I was scared to TTC again until I had a better idea of what was going on and at least until I had progesterone to take.
But once I had a prescription for progesterone, baby aspirin and prednisone, I was afraid to TTC again but trusted my doctor's judgement.

Now, TTC again is just scary, no matter what way I look at it.
After each loss it gets scarier.
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  #5  
September 5th, 2010, 02:02 PM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with Augie & Amber.
The more losses I hae experienced, the more hopeless I become.
It's nice to have ladies here who understand.
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  #6  
September 5th, 2010, 05:37 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Thanks ladies. I wasn't sure if what I felt was normal or not. Us being so far along when we lost the babies I think makes it harder for us personally. But I know DH was way more willing after one loss to blame bad luck. Now we both just figure its not in the cards and don't want to go through the heartache of another loss. I didn't know if that fear of another loss being worse after a second loss was normal. I appreciate your honesty. At least I know that I am not alone in my fears. I still have nightmares of my m/c and u/s . Even when I think about wanting to TTC those fears pop right back up and I can't take it.
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  #7  
September 6th, 2010, 08:44 AM
ambee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Big hugs! I know from personal experience that later m/cs add a whole new realm of freaky, as you never quite feel safe in your pregnancy. If you ever need to talk, we're all here for you!
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