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  #1  
July 24th, 2006, 06:43 PM
srs srs is offline
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This one is actually kind of positive! I've been thinking lately that I'm really glad that DH and I decided to ignore the doctor and not use any protection after the first af (okay, we cheated a bit there too, but I got af anyway ). I feel so much better that we're just letting things happen, and I think not doing that made me feel absolutely horrible after mc#1. All I wanted them was to be pg again, to make sure that getting pg easily wasn't a fluke, and then we waited forever (okay, like six weeks) before ttc again, which was a really horrible time. Now I feel like I don't really care what the doc says (and this time she even said, "why don't you take some time off"), preventing pg is not the right thing for me emotionally.
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  #2  
July 25th, 2006, 08:35 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think that's kind of where I am, too. I'm an analyst/planner most of the time and went into the ttc thing that way too. Now, after two losses, I've completely given up control of the situation. It's in God's hands now. We BD when we want to, don't try to prevent (though DH sometimes asks to cover up when he's in a we-can't-afford-a-baby mood), etc. I'm so much more relaxed about everything this time. If it happens, great, we'll take it a day at a time and hope we get a take home baby. If AF shows up, that's fine, too, because it's God's plan and He'll work it out.

I'm kind of glad our doctor is more of a cheerleader and supports us ttc after just one AF. He's a positive person and his demeanor has really helped me get through all of this and actually look forward to trying again.
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  #3  
July 25th, 2006, 04:33 PM
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I think just letting go feels better - I think that is what frees you. TTC - is it's own pressure - not TTC is it's own worry...so I think sometimes letting things be - is the only way to free your mind from added stress. I am glad you are feeling better about it.
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  #4  
July 25th, 2006, 04:54 PM
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Yeah, there's another thing too, which is that part of the relaxing is not worrying about things like caffeine, which I tried to cut out completely when I was ttcing before. I don't even have a bad coffee habit (like 1 cup a day, 2 at the most), but it was really hard to cut it out completely, and it was not fun to struggle to stay awake at work and not just go drink the flippin cup of coffee. In hindsight, that was dumb. Oe cup of coffee a day does not cause mc, or there would be a lot more of it. It's so nice now to just have my morning coffee, have the occasional drink, BD whenever the urge strikes, and truly not worry about any of it. I sort of figure this is what the process was like before bcp anyway, where once you got married there wasn't as much pressure about choosing to conceive - it either happened or it didn't. Don't get me wrong - I'm glad women have more options now, I just think sometimes in having all of those options we lose sight of the natural process.
I also tend to be a planner, and sometimes I take things too seriously and am too regimented, and ttc was definitely one of those things, like if I could just plan it and do a good job then everything would work out. I guess life has a way of teaching you to let go, whether you want to or not!
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  #5  
July 25th, 2006, 09:55 PM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I also tend to be a planner, and sometimes I take things too seriously and am too regimented, and ttc was definitely one of those things, like if I could just plan it and do a good job then everything would work out. I guess life has a way of teaching you to let go, whether you want to or not![/b]
OMG...that is so me!! And giving up that control is so hard, but so ... I don't know the word I'm searching for, but it's like a relief from a very heavy burden. I just wish there was an easier way for us to learn that lesson.
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  #6  
July 25th, 2006, 09:57 PM
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I've known my DH for seven years, and he has spent seven years gradually getting me to be less uptight about things. It's a bit sad really that I'm still where I am - I must have been really bad off when we first met!
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  #7  
July 25th, 2006, 10:40 PM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I must have been really bad off when we first met![/b]
LOL!! We started dating 14 years ago when I was in college, working 20 hours a week, and skating competitively. Needless to say I had every minute of every day scheduled. Then I went to DH's house for the weekend. Got out there late on Friday, slept in on Saturday, then got dressed and ready for whatever. I asked DH what we were going to do. He said, "Nothing." I swear I almost had a stroke! I'd never done "nothing" in my life!! I have improved a lot in some areas, thanks to DH, but others I still try to force into a plan. Maybe we can help each other relax!
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  #8  
July 31st, 2006, 05:20 AM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I must have been really bad off when we first met![/b]
LOL!! We started dating 14 years ago when I was in college, working 20 hours a week, and skating competitively. Needless to say I had every minute of every day scheduled. Then I went to DH's house for the weekend. Got out there late on Friday, slept in on Saturday, then got dressed and ready for whatever. I asked DH what we were going to do. He said, "Nothing." I swear I almost had a stroke! I'd never done "nothing" in my life!! I have improved a lot in some areas, thanks to DH, but others I still try to force into a plan. Maybe we can help each other relax!
[/b][/quote]

Control/pla freak here too! LOL! I could sure use some help "relaxing"...and DH would be ever so grateful if I did
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