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What is going on with me?????


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  #1  
September 5th, 2006, 08:17 PM
EricaInOhio's Avatar Veteran
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Ok so I know I keep saying this is a crazy cycle and I'm sorry to bring it up again. I'm just going NUTS here and I need to vent!!! I ovulated on CD15, had spotting 3DPO (too early for implantation bleeding), now cramping on 7&8 DPO (kind of shooting pain, not too severe, all on the left side), and some pink CM once today (8DPO) when I went potty (none since then). I don't know if AF is just around the corner and I'm going to go back to having a luteal phase defect like I had before DD or what. I've never had pink CM before. It wasn't brown like spotting usually is. I'm a little (OK A LOT) obcessive about things (OK MOST things) and DH can only take so much of me talking about it before his eyes glaze over. I'm just such a control freak I can't stand it when my body isn't predictable!!!! Any thoughts? Should I just chalk it up to the first cycle post D&C and stop expecting to be normal yet? That's what I keep telling myself. I guess I just need you girls to remind me it is too early to be normal and to STOP OBCESSING!!!!! But I want to be normal so we can get back to TTC!!!!!!
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  #2  
September 5th, 2006, 08:25 PM
srs srs is offline
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Yup, we've all been there. I don't know if either of these will be helpful, but I can tell you two things:
1. You are not alone. We've got a lot of "planners" on this board, me included, and it's tough when we're out of control of our lives.
2. I know you want everything to get back to normal before you ttc, but you may wind up pg anyway. I've been pg twice now since my first mc, and I'm STILL waiting, eight months later, for my "normal" to return. It never did, and I think it may be gone with the wind. It's rotten luck, but it's not the end of the world, and certainly not the end of your ttc journey if things are a little more wacko than they used to be. It's just harder to plan.

Having said all that, vent away! It really does help, especially when your DH gets that glazed over look and you know he's not really listening.


By the way... my DH thinks your daughter is adorable! I think he really wants a little girl.
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  #3  
September 5th, 2006, 08:37 PM
EricaInOhio's Avatar Veteran
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Thanks! I'm glad you don't think I'm crazy for posting about this again. Hey, at least I o'ed right?

Thank your DH for the compliment on my DD. I think she has some sort of spell over dads (and grandpa's too). I thank God everyday that we were blessed with her (after 9 months of fertility issues, but before all this m/c stuff started.... She's my Clomid baby, LOL.)

The worst part is I'm so in tune with my body right now that I'm over analayzing every little thing (like maybe the twinging in my bb's is not from the enourmous hole I dug this weekend and maybe the cramping and pink CM wasn't the beginning of AF.....just maybe). I'd give anything for the days when AF just snuck up on me bc I wasn't paying any attention to anything. Plus I've never had a pg symptom before 5 wks in my 3 previous pg so why am I looking for them now????? Because I'm a freak!!!!
Thanks again!
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  #4  
September 6th, 2006, 07:46 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You're not a freak, just a woman who wants to have a baby and will do anything to make that dream a reality. I'm another of the planners and understand completely that feeling of "not knowing" - it makes me crazy! It's so hard to just sit and wait for things to happen when you're used to researching and analyzing and planning. Once I realized that it was completely out of my control and gave it to God, I was so much more peaceful about everything. Unfortunately, while we can do everything "right" with ttc, it still doesn't guarantee the results we hope for.

Not trying to add fuel to the fire here, but the pink CM could be signs of impending AF or it could be implantation bleeding. 8dpo would be about right for that. Also, every pg is different. All three that I've had this year have been completely different from each other and from the one that brought us DS. So, just because you've never had symptoms before 5 weeks in other pg, doesn't guarantee you won't with the next one.

So, like Sara said, you're not alone. Lots, if not most, of us are planners and want/expect things to go just like we plan them to. Reality is telling us otherwise and that sux. So, vent away here and spare your DH all the detailed rants. We'll listen and not glaze over, I promise!
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  #5  
September 6th, 2006, 09:05 AM
Mari13007's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I really hope that the pink cm is implantation bleeding (fingers crossed xxxx) but it could be impending AF. The only times that I ever had pinkish cm was a few days before af made her appearance. Please feel free to rant and vent here because I completely understand that look of huh that DH gives me when I start to get really technical and start to analyze every single thing that my body is doing. (((((((Relaxing Vibes))))))) to soothe you.
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  #6  
September 6th, 2006, 09:35 AM
candacesoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oooh how I long for "normal". It's been many months since my last loss and all I wanted was to get back to normal. Now...two d&cs later I don't think I even Oed this month and maybe for the last 2 months.

I hope that your light pink spotting is implantation bleeding and I'm wishing you the best!

Love,
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  #7  
September 6th, 2006, 07:35 PM
EricaInOhio's Avatar Veteran
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Thanks for being so understanding. I felt quite a bit calmer today, but in the shower after I posted last night I started to think what if I am pg and I got really scared. I think I was more upset that I might be than I might not be. How rediculous is that!!! I see the hematologist tomorrow, which I am excited about so that's mostly what's on my mind now. I hope he has some insite into my borderline bloodwork. Might POAS tomorrow, but even if that was implantation bleeding yesterday it would still be too early to get a BFP so I'll just be wasting my $. I think you need to be ~4 days past implantation.....

Thanks again!
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  #8  
September 7th, 2006, 07:45 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I think I was more upset that I might be than I might not be. How rediculous is that!!![/b]
Not ridiculous at all, sweetie. I think all of us in the pg subforum felt exactly that same way, actually I still do at times. But you'll be fine. You can do this. Be sure and update us after your appointment.
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  #9  
September 7th, 2006, 01:15 PM
EricaInOhio's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I think I was more upset that I might be than I might not be. How rediculous is that!!![/b]
Not ridiculous at all, sweetie. I think all of us in the pg subforum felt exactly that same way, actually I still do at times. But you'll be fine. You can do this. Be sure and update us after your appointment.
[/b][/quote]


The doc visit went well. He said it was a good thing I have continued to persue the blood clotting thing based on my family history and borderline test results. He repeated the blood work and ordered some additional tests. I won't have the results for 3 weeks, but at least he is taking me serios and not just dismissing my first bloodwork. He's talking Lovenox injections during pg if the bloodwork comes back 20 or above (previous result was 18).

Got a BFN this morning 10DPO. With his talk of potential treatment for me I think it might be a good thing to get that figured out before getting pg. My OB was so dismissive of it that I really wasn't holding out hope they would treat me until I had 2 truely positive results and another m/c (that's the standard for treatment). That's why we didn't wait this cycle.

More waiting.....
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  #10  
September 10th, 2006, 08:13 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ugh - I am sorry you still don't have an absolute answer - but hopefully you will very soon. When do you plan to test again? I still don't think you are out of the running - and hte pink CM I have pnly had when pg - so perhaps it is implantation. The crap of it is - that you REALLY enver knwo until you get a BFP. Keeping fingers & toes crossed for you hun!
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  #11  
September 11th, 2006, 08:51 AM
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How are you doing today? Your emotions and thoughts are all very normal reactions, and something that only one who's actually gone through this rollercoaster can understand.

I hope your results give you some more answers. The waiting part if the hardest.

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