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I've been wearing my pants unbuttoned for a couple weeks now and today finally decided to go buy some maternity pants. I am 13 weeks today. I have never been far enough along to shop for maternity so this was my first time. I was really excited to be going but once I got to the store I couldn't stop crying. I'm still so scared that something is going to go wrong. I want to enjoy being pregnant but I'm just so scared that I can't. And to add to it , there were a bunch of blissful pregnant girls in the store, with their big bellies, already pushing the stroller of another child...it was just too much. I still can't be around other pregnant women. I can't listen to them talk like pregnancy is so easy. I feel like I'm crying all the time.
And every time I hear of someone's loss I get freaked out more. I can't even read the loss posts of women on this board because I know I'll start uncontrollably crying and running to the bathroom to check the toilet paper.
Does it ever get easy? Can I ever be happy? I just want to enjoy this pregnancy and I don't know if it's ever going to happen.
Honestly...I never seem to just "relax" and enjoy my pg's. There's always "something" that "could" go wrong. But I do my best to enjoy every moment of knowing there's a new little life growing inside of me. ((((hugs)))))
And then...once they're born...the anxieties can be even bigger. lol But that's all part of being a mommy.
Married 8/11/90 ~ Terry Bechor m/c'd 11/26/03, Thomas A. III m/c'd 7/15/04,
Sarah E. born 6/24/05, Tabitha Zipporah m/c'd 4/?/06, Theodore David m/c'd 8/27/06,
Taylor Lynn m/c'd 2/07/07, Benjamin E. born 3/25/08, Catherine A. born 6/03/09