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  Subscribe To Pregnant after recurrent loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
August 6th, 2006, 02:20 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I swear something is really up with me. I am spotting again & this time more than last. EVERY mc I have had - all spotting, etc...it's always a Sunday. I even put on a pad last night just in case & yep - it's there. I dont understand this & I don't know how it can be coincidence. My cycle is 28 days - starting on a Sunday - so somehow that seems like it would have to be related. I feel so stupid. All these fears - up & downs, like some mellow-dramatic pathetic freak. I haven't even told Joel yet - I suppose I should. It's just so hard. I hate this - all of it. I am so tired of dealing with the up & down of it all. And it's only been less than 2 wks. I keep trying to think there is hope...but I don't want to be delusional or in denial...and at the same time - I don't want to always assume the worst...but what the he!! am I supposed to think given my history? Right now - I guess my head is all screwy - my heart is all twisted up. It doesn't help that we just finished a movie & in it one of the women has a mc & it shows a lovely sweet scene with her & her sister....and it made me bawl. I just don't want this to happen again. I feel so sad that I can't hold out more hope. It is still brown right now & mucusy (sorry) but I have seen this before & it has never been a good thing. My breasts were sore again last night - bu they aren't now. I am so weepy too. All I can do is set & tear while writing. I wish I could say I am better than that, stronger, more optimistic..but at this moment I am not. I am terribly terribly sad. I will update again later. I am going to try & read some posts for now to keep my mind off it...hope it works.
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #2  
August 6th, 2006, 02:30 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 18,997
try to take a deep breathe and relax a little to get your mind off of it so much.
you will be in my thoughts and prayers
I understand how hard it is to have a m/c no matter how far along you are or have long you have known. Its still really hard. Good luck with everything hope all is well
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  #3  
August 6th, 2006, 03:19 PM
srs srs is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,421
Beckie,
I'm so sorry. Hang in there, as best you can. Not that it will make you feel better, but with my last loss I only knew I was pg for seven days before I started spotting. Those were seven of the longest days of my life, with more ups and downs than I care to count.

Lean on us. We'll be here for you, and it's the least we can do. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that you've certainly been there for us all on countless occasions.
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  #4  
August 6th, 2006, 07:02 PM
lizard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 5,479


I am sorry. I was hoping that you would have better news for us today. I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this waiting and worrying. We are here for you, whatever you need.
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  #5  
August 6th, 2006, 07:15 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I still am not feeling good about all of this - but for not it appears the spotting has tapered. I will keep you informed of my current status - but as for now I fully intend to go to work tomorrow, etc. If any major changes happen I'll fill you in. Thank you all so much for the love & support. I am just bummed to be getting such ucky indications. I don't feel all that good about it now...but I can only try to be cool, wait & see.

I decided of all crazy things to post in the DDC. Somehow - feeling like I may be loosing the baby made me want to document that I had been pg somewhere other than in the loss forums...if that makes sense. I don't know. It doesn't feel too hopeful - but I felt like this baby deserves something other than just worry & grief...maybe a moment to be normal again. I am so weird I think.

Thank you all again - so incredibly much.
__________________
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #6  
August 6th, 2006, 07:18 PM
Astrid's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 27,408
Beckie ~ I just wanted you to know I am keeping you & your baby in my prayers. I'll be following your progress in here. I'm always here if you need me!
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  #7  
August 6th, 2006, 11:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 3,669
Oh Beck, I just found out. I'm going to stay hopeful for ya girl. Many prayers. I think posting in the DDC will help with being more positive, you can read and add to all the silly stuff going on over there. It should lift your spirits.

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  #8  
August 7th, 2006, 10:12 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
Keeping you in my prayers, Beckie. You know we're here for you no matter what. I'm glad you spent some time in the DDC. You deserve that happiness.
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Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
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  #9  
August 7th, 2006, 10:38 AM
Deb's Avatar
Deb Deb is offline
I'd rather be in Forks
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,919
Oh sweety, thinking and hoping and praying for you. Sending you lots of love and positive thoughts.

I bled for 2 weeks with this pregnancy, before I knew I was pregnant. If I'd known I was pregnant at the time, I'd have been absolutely certain it was gone. A lot of it was brown and mucousy, but a good bit of it was red and period-like, and I even wore a tampon for a few days. I will continue to hope that this is just a little bump in your road to a successful and healthy pregnancy.
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  #11  
August 8th, 2006, 08:43 PM
Kiwi*Mummie*of*4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 3,818
Beckie I will keep you and your baby in my prayers and thoughts.
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