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I need some GOOD advice.....


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  #1  
August 10th, 2004, 08:42 AM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ohio.....I was born in Portsmouth, Virginia.
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Well, to start off this situation has to do with a good friend of mine. We have been friends since our first children were babies. (22 years)

My friend & I had not been around each other for a few years. But, we talked on the phone & e.mailed each other. I know she is ready to divorce her husband. I can understand why too!
Well, my problem with her has started since she met my hubby. I have noticed that she seems to be attracted to him.( In a big way) I have not said anything to him about it. I can tell at this point he doesn`t even know.....or maybe does not care!
The reason I think she is trying to get a little too friendly with him is because the way she is around him. Now, remember she was around my other husband of 23 years and never acted the way she is with my hubby now.
The last few times she came by she had on real short, shorts. Which I can never remember her wearing shorts like these since I have known her.
What really has me at the point where I am going to go off on her is.....Her & her husband came over to our place to go swimming. She had on a white swimsuit....oh yes, white, and after getting into the water you could see her nipples, hairs & all. She looked like a real skank! Her husband even said something to her about seeing everything...It did not bother her. Needless to say I was pretty pist. But, I kept my cool. I would never treat her like that. I have too much respect for myself and I had respect for her too.
I really hate to end our friendship after all these years .But, I am getting close! I just do not like to be disrespected like that! I know my Hubby would never have an interest in her.....It is all about her disrespecting me....her friend..(I think)


Has this ever happened to you with a friend?
This is where I need some of you gals good advice.........What would you do or say? Or do you think I am over reacting?
At this point I do not care if I ever see her again!!!!
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  #2  
August 10th, 2004, 08:48 AM
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first off (((((tammy)))) I know that when my parents got a divorce and even right before hand my mom would wear some pretty outrageous clothes that were very inappropriate. I had to tell my mom that I thought they were trashy. My mom was of course hurt, because a tactful person I am not..LOL, but she understood and didn't even realize that she was doing it. She was just showing my dad what he couldn't have anymore...KWIM? So I would take your friend aside and tell her honestly what you think of how she is dressing. I don't think she is doing it to get your dh away from you or anything I just think it might have something to do with her feeling sexy and like a woman. But just be honest with her and see where she is coming from. but don't be confrontational when you do it, but happy calm and honest. HTH!!!
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  #3  
August 10th, 2004, 08:51 AM
twinsmom26
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Hmmm.... tough question. I do think that some girls flirt and just dont realize they are doing it. I have been told by people that I am very flirtatious, but of course I dont see it, lol. Has this friend of yours just lost some weight recently or improved the way she feels about herself. That might be a reason for the short shorts and the bathing suit. Or maybe she doesnt realize that her bathing suit is see through, lol, and in that case somebody should probably tell her. Sorry that's all the advice I have for you, but I couldnt see somebody after that many years just all of a sudden having a thing for her friends husband.
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  #4  
August 10th, 2004, 08:52 AM
twinsmom26
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hey we were posting at the same time, lol. And almost the same advice from the both of us!
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  #5  
August 10th, 2004, 09:00 AM
YankeeMom
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I would probably back off a bit on the friendship. She sounds like she's going through a faze in her relationship where she needs to show her "soon to be" ex that she's still sexy and attractive (and maybe she's trying to convince herself too). If she asks why, just tell her the truth. She's doing some things that you don't agree with

Or you could ignore it and keep making herself look like a fool
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  #6  
August 10th, 2004, 09:07 AM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have always treated my friends the way I want to be treated..With the up most respect! It is like she is a totally different person around my new hubby! Which she just met for the first time about 1 month ago. I will not put up with it from her...no way! If she wants to act like a skank...she can do it somewhere else!


Oh, to answer your question...she has not lost weight. I think she just likes the way my hubby looks. I know she had an affair on her hubby years ago & had a child out of the affair. So, should I trust her???I trust my hubby totally..But, why set back and allow someone who is suppose to my friend act like that!!???
I am mad but, sad too, about it all! You would have had to been here to see how she was.....it was sickening! She is very lucky I did not go off on her. I think I was shocked that my suppose to be friend would act like that with my hubby. She knows how much we love each other! She even says how good we look together as a couple! I just do not get what she could be thinking!!??? You know what I mean?
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  #7  
August 10th, 2004, 09:45 AM
zonapellucida
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My first reaction was dump her then I thought about it. Women who are about to divorce try to make themselves seem attractive to other men to make themselves feel better. It is time to have a talk wiht ther and see where that leads. . . .
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  #9  
August 10th, 2004, 12:29 PM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
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Since you mentioned she is considering a divorce, maybe she is trying to find her sexuality so she can get out and start a single's life. Maybe the divorce is what is modivating her to wear short shorts and a revealing suit. Not really your dh, I bet she is starting to dress like this anywhere to see what kind of attention she can get from men. Your dh is probably safe to start out with. Not saying she wants to jump in the sack with him, but she is practicing her flirting and all that single stuff. Like when a woman divorces and gets her hair done and looses a ton of weight and starts to dress nice. Maybe she is going through that? Just my thoughts, I could be way off here. But I doubt it's your dh she is only donig that too, she probably is seeing what kind of attention she can get at the grocery store even. She is probably new to all of this being married for so long, she is feeling out new territory I guess.

Just MHO.
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  #10  
August 10th, 2004, 02:45 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Ohio.....I was born in Portsmouth, Virginia.
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Thank you all for your thoughts and advice!!!

I have decided to be a little distant with her for awhile. Maybe just be around her away from my hubby untill she gets herself & her life together . Then I can see if it really was about her being attracted to him or her just doing as some of you said.........


I will let you know how it goes....ok?


Thanks again!
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  #11  
August 11th, 2004, 04:42 AM
Ma2RayPooh
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well, i could go both ways here. b/c i am putting myself in your shoes and if one of my friends acted like that or did that I would be a bit pist too! i wouldnt want anyone coming over to my house with a see through bathing suit. Any woman in her right mind knows that 95% of white bathing suits you can see through. So I agree with you Tammy it is uncalled for no matter what she is going through, you just dont do that to your friends. i hope things can work out between you two though, for the sake of the friendship. good luck.
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