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  #1  
August 13th, 2004, 05:09 PM
TheGeneralsGal
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You were finished having kids. Just when I thought we came to the decision for DH to have the big snipperdoodle I have HUGE second thoughts. Apparently he has had them all along

My man (man is Ians nickname) is getting so big. He three months now! He is my sumo bear! Hes HUGE! His fat hangs over his diaper LOL! I miss those kicks that kept me up at night! I miss pricking my finger to check my sugars! I miss those weekly ultrasounds! I miss labor! I miss it all! I miss my newborn I can not decide what to do. Certain days I know for sure we are done. Then MOST days I know we want another.. Heck even the day when Abigail was taking a bath and the shower turned on a bit and started spraying water,she told me it was unaccpetable and I better fix the leak NOW! Hmm wonder where she gets the attitude from Actually shes a smart little cookie! I still want another.

<sigh>


I want my little guy/girl back!

::Stomps feet::
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  #2  
August 13th, 2004, 05:35 PM
YankeeMom
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Well, I have four so that might have made our decision a little easier But I also had HUGE baby fever & doubts before dh went in for the Big V. It was sad. To know that we will never have anymore beautiful babies.
But when I think with my head and not my heart, it was and still is the best decision we have made. I cannot wait for Matthew (my youngest who's nearly 3 ) to be more independent! I cannot wait to do big kid things with all of them, like Camping & going to amusement parks.
I am so looking forward to the next chapter(s) in our lives
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  #3  
August 13th, 2004, 05:37 PM
oreokitten
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Well I just got a tubal after Jillian. The way we knew we were done is because we were 'done' after Brielle. Jillian was the only baby of mine that was not planned and I had a hard time coping and thinking about having another when I found out I was pregnant again. I did not want another one and I was scared. I still, even after the tubal, think about how it is going to suck when Jillian is not a baby anymore and how I can never go through labor anymore or get all that pregnant attention anymore...... I think it will be something I will always miss even though I know we do not want anymore. I am glad Jillian snuck her way into our lives. She belongs here in our family. I guess If you have any doubts then maybe you do want one more? If not, but the thought of permanent sterilization is too much for you, then just use birth control incase you ever change your mind. I probably didnt help much but that's how I felt, lol.
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  #4  
August 13th, 2004, 06:02 PM
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After we had Josalin I thought for awhile we might have a third, but once the girls got to an age where we could sleep in during the morning (even though "sleeping in" to us is waking up at 8:30!) and know that if they WERE up they'd be watching TV quietly, it kinda grew on us! Not only that, but I have a certain lifestyle I enjoy and priveledges I want my girls to have without having to worry about money issues, and a third child would put us in a serious financial crunch. I don't want that and neither does DH, so he went and got a vasectomy.
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  #5  
August 13th, 2004, 06:08 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,205
How do I know I'm done!!? S/O is getting snipped!

I would love to have more children, I wanted 4...but I've come to terms with the fact that 2 is all I'll ever have.
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  #6  
August 13th, 2004, 06:24 PM
Goodnu2003's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Manchester N.H.
Posts: 1,352
I actually always wanted just 2!!!! BUT....Mike is SOOO wanting to have one more...I say NO 2 is enough....But sometimes I feel like whats one more....I would love it the same!!!! But I really think we are done...In the back of my mind I think maybe thats why I got the IUD incase I ever changed my mind!!!!!!
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  #7  
August 13th, 2004, 06:28 PM
Carol
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We both knew we were done after two. Then, after dh got his vasectomy, we ended up pregnant with Jennica. We figured it was a fluke, and the doctor that did his vasectomy said it was, as well. And that it was "impossible" that we could have another pregnancy. Then we had James . So, I got my tubal after James was born. It's been over 2 years, and so far so good. Of course, since dh has been gone the majority of those 2 years, it's hard to tell what the future holds.
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  #8  
August 14th, 2004, 04:29 AM
Ryansmommy
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Man I know how you feel... Ryan was an unplanned surprise.. we were tlaking about trying a year from when he was concieved. And event hough most of my pregnancy went fairly well till about the 30th week (Good ole pre eclampsia). I still want one more.. Id like to try for a girl... but what stops me is SO has two other children from a previous marriage (1 is his other is his step daughter who he raised). I mean if I got pregnant he wouldnt flip out or anything... Now what stops me is having tthe preeclampsia scared the living life out of me.. it hurt alot!! And I dont know if I can go through any thing like that again.So I guess we are undecided!!
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  #9  
August 14th, 2004, 07:09 AM
I Heart 4x4
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We're not done having kids quite yet ... I want 2 more, and DH wants 1 (but maybe I'll talk him into 2!) ... I guess we'll know down the road ...
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  #10  
August 14th, 2004, 07:34 AM
alyssasmommy2001
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I would suggest asking about an IUD. When I got pregnant with my first, I was on the pill, so she was totally unplanned. DH has juvenile diabetes, and it was really out of control at that time. So he had a vasectomy when she was just under a year. Then, a year later, his diabetes was under control, and we realized that out of fear we had made a HUGE mistake. So then we had it reversed. If he goes through with the vasectomy when you are both having doubts, then I guess it would be possible for you to change your mind later. Vasectomy reversals are not always effective, and they cost anywhere from $5000 to $12000, depending on where you live. And insurance doesn't pay for the reversal. And with the possibility that a reversal wouldn't take, it is a lot of money to spend on something that isn't a guarantee. Trust me, it isn't something you want to jump into if you are having ANY doubts. BTW, I have heard that they have now come out with some kind of clamp, so that instead of cutting the vas deferans (sp?), they just place a clip on it, and if you decide you want more, they just take it off. You might want to check into that. Good luck on whatever you decide.
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  #11  
August 14th, 2004, 09:28 AM
ConnectingRainbows's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Fletcher, NC
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If there is any question in your mind OR your DH's mind... I would wait before doing anything!

I had a tubal done a year ago. I was certain that I did not want to be pregnant again. I did not like being pregnant. I did not like the stress of my fertility problems and regulated clinical sex. I may decide to have another child some day, but I knew that I didn't want it coming out of my body.
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  #13  
August 18th, 2004, 11:25 AM
TheGeneralsGal
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Well right now we are done. But we are going to wait a bit longer. But my answer as of right now is we are done..LOL..

Until I blink at least...
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  #14  
August 18th, 2004, 12:07 PM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,422
We hadn't planned on having kids at all. DH thought he couldn't have any from what a doctor told him and the fact that his last marriage (7 years) did not produce a child.

So of course when I did become pg, I had to totally do a 180 and prepare myself. But I wasn't prepared for colic, allergies and a high needs baby. In fact, I really didn't know much about high needs infants, but did know about colic. So I was pretty overwhelmed for the first year for sure. My dd didn't even sleep through the night until she was two. For two years I hadn't had uninterrupted sleep. I think when you have an easyier time of it or just an easier baby all together, the baby pangs are more prevalent. For me, I shudder to think of those sleepless nights, constant feedings, formula changes, constipation, allergies (stuffed nose), illnesses that I am helpless to do anything about. My little one is soo intense I've dealt with fighting diaper changes, fighting bathtime, won't eat, won't sleep, constant fussiness and oh did I mention...she cried in her carseat EVERY time until she was 14 months old! I about died, I had to go to and from daycare/work every day. Some days I wonder how I made it home and not drive the car off a cliff somewhere (well I do know why, I had dd in the car!).

So yaaaaaaa, for me, I've always wanted a girl though, I was blessed with my wish. I don't think I could go back to those baby days again, makes me nervous thinking about it. Plus I work fulltime and my plate is full. I believe in balance and refuse to be stretched passed my limits or comfort zone. As of now, I can do it all, work, dd, dh, house, chores, bills...etc, and am pretty happy and content and NOT overwhelmed anymore. I'll leave well enough alone now.

As one friend of mine put it (who only has 1 herself), things were great with my only (and gave her reasons), why shoot yourself in the foot! I !

DH is totally onboard as well. For us it's easier to team tag dd, one will play with her while one of us does the house and cooking. It just seems easier to supervise one kid out in the street riding her bike while the other parent has some downtime from their day at work. If we had more than one, we both would always have one or the other or both to provide for. I love being able to sleep in on occasion while dh and dd go get me breakfast! I love being able to say, I need a break and dh confidently jumps in to take our dd off my hands for a bit. I think he would be way too overwhelmed with a toddler and a newborn.

Also, we are done with diapers and I have NO desire to start over!!! My dd is ready for preschool, I prefer to have time available to participate in her school career. I can't wait to go to the movies with her or to the book store or library after work/school, she is at the perfect age for us, I feel a newborn woudn't allow us to enjoy the not so baby friendly things.

Also, as I said, my dd was/is very high needs and demanding. And since I work, I can't justify taking anymore time away from her to give to someone else. She is my all. When we are together, she is attached to my hip still at 3 years old. She hangs on me and generally has to have my full attention. I don't get on the phone b/c she will start screaming. DH and I can't even hold a conversation, she feels left out and will start singing really loudly!!!

I prefer to give her all of the time I have out of work. I can see her becoming very upset with a newborn and I wouldn't put it passed her to hit a baby if I dare told her I couldn't do something for her b/c I was in the middle of a feeding. I just don't think that is fair to dd at all. And I would hate to have to be getting on her all the time or punishing her b/c she is throwing things, or hitting or telling her to be quiet b/c the baby is sleeping.

Anyway, I guess I have a million reasons why we are done, dh is totally onboard with me! If I wanted another, he'd be more than willing to support me, but right now, I'm happy the way things are.

I don't get that baby pang though like the OP mentioned, especially when they are only like 3 months old. I could barely function then!!
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  #15  
August 18th, 2004, 12:38 PM
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We definitly want more children. If I got pregnant right now, Dh would be happy. I think the timing would be off but I would be happy too. We actually planned on getting pregnant the end of this year or next year. We want our children close together.

But if we have a little girl next, we may be done but I really have my heart set on 3 little ones. Dh said.."no more than 4"
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  #16  
August 18th, 2004, 03:22 PM
zonapellucida
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Well I was done wiht Isadora--kept calling her the "it" baby as in thats it! Even scheduled a tubal and COULD NOT got through wiht it. I was definitely done after Ella. I just felt complete--that my family was complete. This baby is a BF oops . . . lol so I may do something permanent because like Jeanelle I feel really stressed about this pg. I didn't with any of my others.
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  #17  
August 18th, 2004, 03:44 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ohio.....I was born in Portsmouth, Virginia.
Posts: 15,494
My Hubby & I would love to be able to have atleast one baby together.
I love being a Mom!!!! And for my Hubby to finally be a Daddy would be great!
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  #18  
August 19th, 2004, 12:13 PM
Texas Mom
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DH just had it done and him and I were in unison on getting it...the night before I started getting weepy and DH was shocked (because of bad, bad pregs, me just being easily stressed with the two we have now, can't use condoms or BC anymore, money and no more room in our house! LOL!), but all it took was another minute of talking about it and I was fine with it and fell right to sleep! ITA with the comments about you gotta have that feeling, otherwise don't do it! Oh, and advise for your DH when you guys decide to do it....get lots of bags of frozen peas! DH says they were a life saver!
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