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I apologize, this is a little longer than I initially intended.
My younger sister came over this weekend and told us she & her bf are expecting. They are extremely happy but scared, as it was 100% unplanned. I am very happy for them, but also sad at the same time. They have been together for quite some time and he’s a great guy, so that’s not an issue with me at all.
What has me a little sad is that she is almost 18, graduates high school this year and was set to start university in the fall. She would have been the first person to attend university in my family, without a child. I never mention this to her or put any kind of pressure on her to have been the first, but I figured out of all of us, she would have been it. She’s not sure she’s going to be able to go to school in the fall now, as she’s due right around the time she’s supposed to start, so she’s thinking of postponing until the baby is a year or two old now. I understand that, but I’m afraid she’ll wait too long and won’t want to or get the chance to go. She has extremely high hopes & dreams for herself but I hope she doesn’t get ‘stuck’ (for lack of terminology) in a place where she won’t be able to pursue some of those hopes & dreams
I had my son when I was 16 and my daughter when I was 18, so I haven’t said anything to her because I’m feeling like if I do, I’ll be a hypocrite. I don’t regret having my kids one bit, but there are times I wish I would have waited longer, and I don’t want her to feel the same way.
I have a hard time with stuff like this and wish I had someone to bounce this off of, and help me thru it. My DH doesn’t quite understand because his family all went to post-secondary and waited to have kids (except he and I had ours while he was in school).
Anyone ever been thru something like this or felt this kind of way about someone (family or friend)? Or anyone got any ideas on how to let go of this and just be 100% truly happy for her with no reservations? It’s a hard one for me.
I wouldn't say anything to her. It will probably stress her out and you don't want that of someone who is pregnant. I'm sure she's stressing out already, im sure shes already thought of all those things you mentioned. If i were you i would be a very supportive sister and just listen to her. let her know you are there if she needs to talk I totally get your concerns. Just because she will have a baby doesnt mean she wont finish school. And even if she decides not to go to school that is her decision. Sometimes your hopes and dreams do change when you have a baby and theres nothing wrong with that. I kinda felt sad when my sister got pregnant at 16, but she managed to finish high school and is now in college. Its been hard but shes managed fine. If your sister really wants to go to school she will make it happen! I hope you can find a way to just let it go and be happy for your sis