We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
I think a vasectomy is too permanent if you plan on having another child. It's not the easiet thing to reverse, and their is a recovery period. If you're planning on having another child, then a doctor probaly won't even performed it. My dad had one, and it was a little painful.
Have you considered other types of birth control? What about an IUD? I personally wouldn't put my husband through that only to have it reverse later.
Disadvantages of Vasectomy
The chief advantage of vasectomy--its permanence--is also its chief disadvantage. The procedure itself is simple, but reversing it is difficult, expensive, and often unsuccessful. Researchers are studying new methods of blocking the vas that may produce less tissue damage and scarring and might thus permit more successful reversal. But these methods are all experimental, and their effectiveness has not yet been confirmed. It is possible to store semen in a sperm bank to preserve the possibility of producing a pregnancy at some future date. However, doing this is costly, and the sperm in stored semen do not always remain viable (able to cause pregnancy). For all of these reasons, doctors advise that vasectomy be undertaken only by men who are prepared to accept the fact that they will no longer be able to father a child. The decision should be considered along with other contraceptive options and discussed with a professional counselor. Men who are married or in a serious relationship should also discuss the issue with their partners.
Location: Originally from Texas, In Delaware and moving to Alaska!
I was on the depo shot for 4 years when i got pregnant with my first daughter...I dont want any more children..but my husband does. Im happy with 2 girls!! My husband refuses to wear protection and he doesnt want me going on birth control.... He doesnt understand what being pregnant for the last 18 months (give or take a few months) has done to me...im sick of being pregnant..im sick of not being able to do things with my daughter because i feel like crap all the time...my hormones are a mess and i just want to enjoy my kids. I can get my tubes tied and not tell my husband but then that would make things between us a mess... i dont know what to do..or how to explain how im feeling to him...[/b]
I'm just a lurker that was sincerily touched by a lot of stories from the men on this board... I know what you mean about being sick of being a baby machine (I haven't had any but did miscarry but I can imagine what it would be like to have 2 that close).
I do NOT recommend having a tubal or a vasectomy if there is another chance of another one. Not that a vasectomy makes you any less of a man but my DH REFUSES with all of his heart. He will never have one no matter how much I would want him to. He also does NOT want my getting my tubes tied after we have kids. He prefers other BC methods or something more natural and better for the body.
I honestly don't think either is entirely healthy and a lot of women have tubals gone wrong (more pregnancies, needing histerectomies later, etc.). I am going to opt for more natural ways of BC and if something happens.. then hey.. it was meant to be.
Anyway, the point is I can't imagine putting my DH through a vasectomy (that's just ME though) but ESPECIALLY if I thought we MIGHT want another some day! That's waaay too much to expect.
You should try something different like the pill. If you simply refuse to have another this close (and I don't blame you!) just explain to him that the pill is safer than any surgeries and that leaves the hope of another in the future.
That should be enough to satisfy both of you but of course, the pill has to be taken regularly or you might get pregnant again.
Sorry men to hijack your board .
I would try a diaphram. Or IUD if you are really worried. I cannot be on any hormonal-based birth control and don't like condoms so we used a diaghram for 2 years before trying to get pregnant.
Yeah, you have to think about it before hand and if your are squeamish it may be a little gross to take out (i had no problems), but it sounds like your hubby really wants another kid so i would not push him into a permanent surgery. Good luck!
<div align="center">Make a pregnancy ticker</div>
I totally agree with the other girls. I sincerely hope he does not agree to a vasectomy if he wants another child. That is meant to be a permenant fix. It is not easy to reverse at all. Go get an IUD girl.. it takes 5 minutes, they insert it and you guys are good to go for 5 years. I have one so IM me anytime if you want to know more about it.
Vascectomies are painful (yes, I know birthing is too), they are a test of manhood, and they are not always reversible. Your SO has made it clear he wants another child and yet is being asked to be sterilized -- somehow (as a man) this doesn't ring right with me. Put yourself in his shoes -- he isn't hiding his hope for a son with you, and sure, maybe now you aren't ready for yet another child, but you are both young. Don't push him to do this -- it could lead to resentment you aren't ready to handle. Listen to the ladies before me...there are better solutions -- at least for now.
My husband had a vasectomy performed a couple of monthes after our second child was born. I am chronically ill and I had a terrible second pregnancy. My son was coliky and I had PPD...so the entire mix made us both go a little hayhire and just jumped into the decission of no more children. We are both 27. Now my son is almost 18 monthes old and I regret having done the procedure in the first place. Do I want more kids??? I dont know. Does my dh want more kids??? He doesnt know. At that time in our lives we didnt want any more...but now things have settled down and we question our choice. It's a pretty permanent thing and not that easy to just reverse...does your insurance even cover this? As far as it hurting...Joe was uncomfortable for the first day after. He wore a jock strap and used lots of ice. There was some brusing,but not bad. I cant remember exactly..but there was a time frame we couldnt have sex. I understand your husband wanting a boy...but what if your next baby turns out to be another girl? Will he again ask for you to try for another? My husband is one of six kids...and it took FIVE girls before his parents got their son...20 yrs later to boot!(yes his oldest sister was 20 when he was born) It seems like you and dh need to have many long indepth talks about your plans for the future. I wish you both the best of luck
__________________ Nichole,Mommy to Emily and Ryan
<div align="center"></div><blockquote><div align="center">
There's been a lot of good discussion on this topic, but let me add my own comments from the perspective of someone who has actually HAD a vasectomy.
A vasectomy is often reversible -- but it should still only be done when a family is certain that they don't ever want to have any more children. Mommy2Caydence's husband certainly isn't sure, their second child isn't even born yet, and both parents are relatively young. You'd find it difficult to find a urologist who would do the surgery under these conditions, because the reversal surgery is pretty complex and not a sure thing. I also don't think a young mom in her second pregnancy should have a tubal ligation when her husband is still thinking about another child later. The best bet for this couple is to use some other form of contraceptive for a few years. As noted, IUDs are pretty effective when properly used -- but make sure you familiarize yourself with all of the benefits and risks of any contraceptive before making a final decision.
When the time is finally right to have that vasectomy, I do recommend it. I was in my mid 30s and my second child was about 3 years old, so my wife and I were absolutely sure we were finished having children. The procedure is done in a doctor's office with minimal discomfort, it's virtually 100% effective, and as soon as the small incision has healed and the soreness has gone away (a few days) there is ZERO impact on sexual function or "manliness." The worst thing to watch out for is an infection, which if it happens (and it did in my case) can be very easily treated with antibiotics.