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How do some parents do it?


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  #1  
October 23rd, 2006, 04:06 PM
Sassy5d's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When I was younger, my parents basically let me run the roads.. Yeah I had a curfew but I didn't really get any punishment when I broke it.. and it wasn't hard to call and lie and have it extended.
They never really met any of my friends or any of their parents.. so they basically had no idea where I was or who I was with.. and this didn't seem to be a problem..
I thought it was great at the time.. since so many friends of mine had more rules then I did..

Now it leaves me wondering.. especially since I'm faced with my 14 y/o ss.. His dad ran the roads when he was his age and he thinks since he's a boy and at that age that he is at that he's old enough.
He's not a bad kid, gets fair grades.. doesn't get into much trouble.. But it still drives me crazy if I don't know who he's with or what he's doing.. I worry about him....

Now it makes me wonder.. how do some parents do that? Does it mean you love your kids less if you don't care what they do?

What do you guys think?

Becky
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  #2  
October 23rd, 2006, 10:29 PM
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My mom was incredibly strict when I was growing up. I missed curfew, I got grounded. At one point I wasn't allowed out during the week for anything! After she passed away that all changed. My dad figured I was old enough to be counted on to go to school and be a good girl so he left town for a job. He was wrong, I messed up (not too horribly though). I know he cared and all that but he thought I was smart enough to do things for myself. I guess it's a trust thing. I'm not sure how I'll be once my child (future children) are that age.
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  #3  
October 24th, 2006, 07:53 AM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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My parents were extremely strict compared to my friends' parents. I still managed to lie and get in trouble once in a while though. It worries me how Ben will be at that age.
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  #4  
October 25th, 2006, 11:32 AM
Sassy5d's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So you think it's more of a trust issue? My parents trusted me and that's why they let me go hogwild?

I guess I don't trust him because I know what I was doing at that age.. and I catch him doing some of the same things..

ok I guess I have to say I don't trust, so I'm suspicious..lol
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  #5  
October 25th, 2006, 02:42 PM
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I don't think it means they love them any less, it's just different parenting for different people. I, personally, have to meet every friend, every parent and I always go to their house before DD sleeps over. I have to! You just never know.

xxx
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  #6  
November 1st, 2006, 06:06 PM
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i totally get where your coming from!!!! i was free as a bird and to think there were actually parents more lenient than mine!! lol oo if i caught aidan doing anything i was doing .. or being anything like the boys i hung out with ... off with his head! But my mom was a young single mom with two kids so i guess she just did the best she could and didnt really have much of an upbringing herself so i dont blame her much. i made plenty of mistakes and did tons of crap i regret but it def made me stronger and smarter at a young age and definitely a more involved parent!
Theres gotta be a happy medium somewhere cuz i have to say ive known alot of girls that are overly sheltered and i find them to be so naive and immature. so give em freedom but be up their butts like white on rice about where who when and how.
my 2 cents :/
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  #8  
November 2nd, 2006, 06:44 PM
Sassy5d's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I was kicked out the house on my 16th birthday by my parents, who are Pentecostal ministers, so I don't need to go there! I don't have much of a relationship with my folks 10 years later. Pretty sad and I intend to do things different with my girls.

I don't have an answer to your question. I'd be up sick till I heard footsteps in the frontdoor[/b]
OH ERIN! Kicked out on your 16th birthday? That SUCKS!
I spent my 16th birthday laying on the couch.. I don't think I even got a happy bday..
My dad used to tease me.. Tell me he was going to do something just to get me excited and then never do it..(Like lets go get your drivers license... and then I'd get ready and he'd just stare at me)

I lasted till I was 17.. then I got kicked out.. So I know how rough it is.. but on your 16th birthday! That's the pits!

Becky
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  #10  
November 16th, 2006, 11:22 PM
Savages_Wifey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My mom got me a cell phone so that this way she could "catch up on me" And In it was a GPS I didnt know about... This way she always knew where I was lol...So yea...
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  #11  
November 16th, 2006, 11:45 PM
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My parents were pretty strict until my dad died. Then my mom let me do whatever I want. I'm a bit ashamed to say I wasn't one of the ones to be trusted. I did a lot of dumb stuff I totally regret. From the time I was 16-8 I pretty much lived at my now fiance's house. I was there more than I was home. I really wish now I hadn't have been such a little snot, but, can't change the past...I do have a much better relationship now with my mother. With my kids I plan to set some standard rules, like curfew, etc, and enforce them. I don't want to be horrible, but their will be things expected of them, and I will want to meet their friends, know where they are, things like that. I know if my mom had met half the people I hung out with she would have disowned me.
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  #12  
November 16th, 2006, 11:50 PM
Savages_Wifey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OMG I totally know how that is...And i feel bad now for treating my mom the way I did half the time...Just cause I have a better understanding of her points of views ya know?
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  #13  
November 19th, 2006, 07:32 PM
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I think back when we were kids, things were very different. In this day and age, you have to know where and who your kids or with or you will go insane. I always say it is not them I don't trust, it is everyone else (since this is a big discussion among our families on "how far" we will go with the girls...). By the time my girls are old enough to be out "alone" I am sure things will be so very different then they are today, and not for the better...
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