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For those of you with small kids I have a question. Last year we had a big party for our son's 1st birthday and we felt obligated to invite my husband's family even though we both didn't want to. Only his parents and one of his brothers showed up. Imagine that! Anyways this year I don't want to invite them. They don't involve themselves in our lives or our son's life. They never call to chat or see how our son is doing. It's like they just don't care about him. So my question is would it be horrible not to invite his parents to their grandson's birthday party? To be honest I just don't want them there and I don't want to deal with their drama. Is it bad for my son to not have them there? Should I just invite them and deal with it and then when he is old enough let him decide if he wants them around or not?
Personally, I wouldn't feel obligated to invite them. If they don't make an effort to see your son and your DH agrees with you not to invite them, I wouldn't. That's just my opinion though. Hope that helps!
I would feel obligated to some extent. If I were you, I'd tell DH that it's up to him to invite them if he wants to. You have some chance that he won't do it and then you're off the hook. That's what I'd do.
This is how my husbands family is too. They claim there is no difference in the way they treat our children from how they treat my husbands brothers children. My husband is adopted and his brother is their biological.
Needless to say, they do treat him differently. They look down on him, talk about him, critisize him for every choice he has ever made, they never let anything go and they do not treat him the same and it even comes down to them not treating our children the same.
When his brother got married, they paid for the wedding and honeymoon.
When we got married, they were not there. They gave multiple excuses as to why they didnt come. They said it was too short notice. They said it they couldnt make it because of the drive. They told hubby that they didnt agree with him marrying me (then later denied it...then made bets on how long we would last)
They used to use the reason why they never came to our house was beacuse we were unmarried. Well, we are married and they still dont come.
They babysit for his brothers children, however they have never watched our. NEVER!
They will drive 4 hours to spend the weekend with his brothers family on a monthly basis...yet we havent seen them in months.
We see it. The kids know it. They did not attend the last two birthday parties for my children. They no longer get an invitation.
I will do nothing to go out of my way for any of them. Most recently when it has come to the holidays, they have to come to us because I am not dragging my kids all over the place to accomidate those people (yes...those people) anymore.
So I know exactly how you feel about situations like these. Exactly!!!!