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Need help: serious inlaw/parent/pregnant emotional situation


Forum: Inlaws

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  #1  
June 5th, 2008, 10:25 AM
Regular
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3

long, long story short.

1. I'm 38 weeks pregnant and live 6 hours away from my dad and step mom. I live 3 miles away from my inlaws.
2. my mother passed away 6 years ago from cancer.
3. 4 years ago my dad remarried a woman who is like a second mom to me. she has two children (around my age, 32). i've known them since i was born and get along with them really well, most of the time. The step sisters live within 3 miles of my step mom and dad. one step sister is getting married july 19th, the other step sister is a week behind me. She got pregnant basically the same time i did. it is her second. You would think i would be happy with this. I'm not. My dad goes where my stepmom goes.. my stepmom puts her biological children first..

4. my mother and father in law that i've know for ten years (been with my husband for ten, married for year).. went freako a year and a half ago and now hate my guts, almost disown there son, and don't talk about the baby at all. there response to their son saying he was going to have a daughter was "oh" and ignored the entire situation for the last 9 months. They are still ignoring the situation and rarely call their son but to blame him for loss of contact.

5. so my dad said he would come up the 16th and stay until the baby is born. (due date 21st)...until yesterday. He can only seem to fit 4 days with the grandchild in a ten week period (he teaches/coaches too, same schedule as mine). He has known for 8 months. Of course he will spend more time with the step children in the wedding/birth of the second child.

6. my stepmom (who has been telling me all along that she will be here for me, decides to put her other step daughter's bridal shower at her home on my due date. (my step sister is getting married end of july.. (she's already married) but that is when the ceremony is.

7. after talking with me dad he said he was going back home the monday after he arrived (the 23rd..) so he changed his plans again.. without telling me, i found out from my step mom..

oh and i'm so tired of " most people" phenomenon with pregnant women...

sorry about the tirade..

to say the least i was very upset last night because my father doesn't understand what its like to have your mother dead and mother in law and father in law hate you when your pregnant. the only parent i have is my father..

When i express my opinions they think i'm depressed, crazy or whatever.. they have no understanding or empathy.. so i'm dealing with not having a mother when i'm pregnant, my dad not stepping up and coming to visit except for a couple of days, my inlaws hating me and basically not being there, having stepsiblings given more time than i by my biological father. my stepsister having a child when i am and so taking away the only two parental supports i have, my stepmom and dad choosing to be there for the step daughters and not me. did i mention my step sisters have inlaws they love, there dad's family is all alive and they have us.. hmmm.. nice..

I'm trying to just accept and be like that is who they are.. but it so hurts..
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  #2  
June 5th, 2008, 12:17 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 232
First of all, congrats on the baby! But I am so sorry for you, I can't imagine having to deal with all of that period. Plus being 9 months pregnant.
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  #3  
June 5th, 2008, 05:01 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
I'm so sorry! Hopefully your dad will come around.
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  #4  
June 6th, 2008, 06:06 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 926
{{{hugs}}} Here's to hoping that your father will turn around when he sees the baby.
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  #5  
June 24th, 2008, 06:51 AM
Alchemist's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,243
hey hon, what a heart wrenching story..... what does your hubby say about his parents? Surely there is a reason for them being all crazy? I ask because I cancelled my wedding due to my MIL and we basically got married 6 months later. I took it personally at the time but she was mostly looking out for her son (which i recognize now but still have the scars....)

try to sort out the issues one by one and get your DH to help you. You arent alone in this..........

ps. chances are your stepmom just has her daughters' happiness as per priority so maybe you should ask for a little support from her. Granted, I dont know the situation but I do think you may be hormonal and a bbit scared about the birth (and not having your own mom around). Reach out properly to her and if she doesnt respond at least you know you tried and that its about her and not you..................

good luck hons and remember you are about to become a mom, focus on the great gift you are about to receive :-)
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