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It has been awhile, but here is a whopper


Forum: Inlaws

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  #1  
August 11th, 2008, 12:18 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 58
Ok, so it has been months and after the intial snafu with renting a house from my MIL everything has settled down.... until last week that is. See the whole story is the house is actually the SIL and she lives out of state. They got the house when the market was booming. Well MIL retired a few months back and now on limited funds and can no longer manage all her properties and so told the SIL that she needs to take over everything (mortage, HOA, insurance) in regards to her house. Now some time back my wonderful DF's father had passed away and it is taking awhile to get his estate in order. When they found out that he, his brother, and his sister were going to inherit a minimal amount (under 10K) each from one of their dad's retirment funds things took a down turn. First it started that his sister (who lived closest and did plan the funeral) was paying the bills on their dad's house and what not and wanted to be compenstated. We all agreed and and asked for the billls so we could all contribute and she has YET to hand them over and instead is just whining about and wanting money from her brothers. And then when she knew my DF was going to get the money shortly she said she now needs a deposit for the house for cleaning after we move out. We have already been there now for months and we are required to clean it when we move out per the agreement with his mom when we moved in. We explained that to her at which point she in a very nasty email states that she NEEDS that deposit, that it is going to help cover the mortage that she is now paying because our rent does not cover the whole thing. She goes into a nice lengthy rant on how she is doing us the greatest favor in the world and implies that we would be desitute if it weren't for her generosity. I was livid!! my DF is STILL livid!! I told him he better point some finer things out to her. While it is convienent for us to live there we don't have to, we can find something else for cheaper actually right around where we are at. Also as she so pointed out that she is using the deposit money (which is her perogative) how in the heck was she ever going to give it back if we did indeed clean the house, because as much as she is whining about money she will do the same thing when we do move out. She has already tried to raise our rent though I'm not sure if we are actually going to pay her that amount or not. We have contract in writing of how much we are renting and she has yet to give us any notice of changing the amount. She just verablly said that it needs to be such and such amount by this date. And now, since she made it obvious that she can't cover the actual mortage payment what is going to happen when she blows through the deposit money, is she going to raise it again. She ranted and raved on how he was lucky to have any of money and blah blah blah. To top it all off, she made a stupid joke about getting rid of the kids. Which hey would have been funny except it was more a snide remark on how her brother has a choice to have a family and they aren't real family, real kids, like hers are because they are my kids from a previous marriage. So yeah, it has been an interesting few weeks over here. I have already looked up the landlord tenat laws to site all the laws she is breaking and we qualified for a home loan so we are looking to buy our own home very soon. My DF told his mom everything that has gone and she is not happy how her daughter is acting towards us but is still trying to talk us out of moving out. Because we all know and what his SIL fails to realize that if we move out 1) she won't be able to rent it for even close to the amount of the mortage due to the market and 2) that since her mom can't bail her out the house will most likely forclose in the months time from us moving out. Needless to we are doing Thanksgiving and Christmas at my parent's place this year.

My MIL is trying to keep the peace between her kids, but even she made comments to my DF about him paying for anything for the kids with his inheretance because that was money for him and he should be taking care of his family (guess I'm not family, and my kids viewing him as a dad means nothing). She has to check to make sure he isn't being taken advantage of. Because ya know, having a job (that does make more than him by the way) living on my own with four kids, I must still be some horrible person trying to take advantage of any sucker I can find. Oi!!! My DF let her have it a few days ago about if she continues to make me feel unwelcome in the family, then he does not want to be a part of her family.

I love my DF so much, he is such a great man, which is a good thing, because if anyone let someone treat me like they have and not think it was a big deal I would moved on. So fingers crossed we find a house in the next two weeks.
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  #2  
August 11th, 2008, 08:19 AM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
Wow! Yeah I think I would move out ASAP. If the house forecloses that's her problem, not yours. Sometimes you just have to do what's best for your family and let others worry about their own mistakes. I'm sorry that they are putting pressure on you and trying to get all the money they can out of you. Is moving far, far away an option?
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  #3  
August 11th, 2008, 12:56 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 366
I hate to say it but get your family and run! That's a lot of grief over a rental house. Especially when you can rent a place around the area for cheaper! I think you should try to help your SIL realize that she will lose the house if you move out.

And as for the MIL making a comment about not spending the money on you or your kids? remind her that once your DF gets the money it is just that, his money. He can spend it on whatever he darn pleases. If he wanted to go and blow it all on lotto tickets using the lotto numbers, that is his right. She cannot boss him around with his money.

Good luck on the house hunt!
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  #4  
August 11th, 2008, 05:54 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 58
So we have found a few houses, we are going back to look again this weekend. Funny you should mention SM, my DF has been begging to move out of state, somewhere cooler, like Oregan or something, too bad we can't afford that right now. The one good thing is that his sister can be a pain on the phone and email, but she lives in CA, so we don't really see her. Especially now since the only way she liked coming was flying out on my buddy passes from work, which are now no longer available to her. Bummer for her. We are hoping to be out by November the latest. We let his mother know what we were planning on doing and even she while is not happy we are essentially screwing his sister over, thinks it is best because even she is disgusted about some of things his sister is saying and doing. But of course instead of telling the spoiled brat off she just tries to appease her. My DF who have I mentioned really is the most wonderful supportive guy one could ever find is leading the charge after I suggested us moving out, finding listings, working on loan paper work, researching neighborhoods and schools while he is at work when it is slow. He definitely makes it all worth it.
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  #5  
August 11th, 2008, 08:35 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 232
Holy cow! I would be livid! Your DH sounds very supportive, good for him. LOL!
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  #6  
August 11th, 2008, 08:55 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 366
You have one of the nicest DF's in the world! You guys will get moved in no time!
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