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Annoyed... but not sure if I need to get over it...


Forum: Inlaws

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  #1  
October 26th, 2008, 02:33 PM
lindsayb63's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 2,204
Hello everyone!

I have a step-mother-in-law that has pretty much be completely un-interested in my husband and I until we got pregnant. We used to live in Atlanta nearby and never saw her... never heard from her... eventually the lack of family cause us to move back "home" to NY where my parents and my DHs mom lives. I don't need to go into details, but she has been very hurtful to my husband and I, so we pretty much do not associate with her at all anymore.

Anyways, when she found I was pregnant through DH's Dad, she text messaged me to say congrats. Now she keeps emailing me saying how she wants to be called "Granny" and and just alot of other crap.

I'm really annoyed that she still doesn't obviously care about us, because she can't seem to call us (only text and email)... and now apparently wants to be an active Grandmother. I haven't talked on the phone to her since right after we moved (she didn't come say goodbye) and she was wasted... this was over 6 months ago.

What do I do in this situation? I consider her to be severely mentally unstable and don't even want my kid to meet her (I know that won't be possible... but I can wish it...) Do I need to get over this? Anyone feel the same way about someone?

Thanks,
Lindsay
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  #2  
October 26th, 2008, 03:38 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
Well, the good news is that you already moved away! I know that it's terribly annoying that she only becomes interested when a baby is in the equation, really there isn't much she can do except annoy you with texts and emails. Thankfully it's not phone calls! Do you think you will have to see her often? My MIL is extremely unstable but I have to put up with her for DH's sake and it sounds like you may have to do the same for FIL's sake (I'm assuming they are still married??) You don't have to like her though. I'd just keep contact to the bare minimum without upsetting anyone. When she says she wants to be called "Granny" just say ok. I hope she doesn't come visit often for your sake. Hugs!
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  #3  
October 27th, 2008, 10:44 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 384
I wouldn't even dignify that foolishness with a response. She is prolly fishing anyway to see if it is safe to pick up the phone...ya know, how close she can really get. Keep shutting her down. Keep it brief and let her know you aren't planning on letting her get all warm and cozy...without actually having to say it ya know?
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  #4  
November 6th, 2008, 09:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,652
At least be thankful you don't live close to her. I have the same problem with my MIL. She drives me insane. I feel the same as you, I would rather pretend that she didn't exist. My MIL wants to be updated on everything and be there for the birth, because after all, like she has said, we have no right to keep the baby from her. Well I would just prefer never to hear from her again, it would make life so much easier. I'm sure you feel guilty about not wanting her around, because I know I do and I feel like I should be grateful that she cares enough to ask. My only advice I have is to just keep the peace. I paint a smile on and as I aways tell my husband, I give an academy award winning performance at every family function.
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