Log In Sign Up

Grrrr Can't Win!


Forum: Inlaws

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Inlaws LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
November 25th, 2008, 02:38 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
Posts: 22,176
Send a message via AIM to Chunky Monkey Send a message via Yahoo to Chunky Monkey
OK I know I said I usually get along with my MIL. But I recently found out there's a catch to our friendship.

Recently we went through some hard times. I am not going to elaborate, as it would be a book by that time. But my MIL was SOOOO quick to blame me and told Scott that until I get a job blah blah blah that I am not welcome in their home.

She told Scott this but any time I have seen or talked to her she has been super nice to my face.

I know Scott isn't making this up because I was sitting right there and my MIL does not talk soft at all.

I HAVE been looking for a job. But it's hard to find one to work around Scott's work schedule and/or the kids school schedule. And if I find a job that requires putting them in daycare then I would be only working to pay them, KWIM? I WANT to work. I love being home with the kids, that is why I want to find one where I am home with them when they get off school...but I get sick of looking at the 4 same walls, especially since Scott works 24 hour shifts.

Gahhh I just can't win!


I told Scott that I could care less if I am welcome after I get a job. She needs to apologize to me before I even think of setting foot in that house. And I have the mindset that if *I* am not welcome, neither are my children since they are all a part of me.
__________________
Thank you KimberlyD0 for my absolutely beautiful siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #2  
November 25th, 2008, 03:15 PM
koalasandduckies's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Maine
Posts: 830
Send a message via AIM to koalasandduckies Send a message via Yahoo to koalasandduckies
I totally know how you feel! My MIL says I need to get off my lazy ##### and get a job, yes that is all well and good get a job, but if I do that I lose the state aid I am getting not to mention all of y money would go to daycare. So it isn't feasible right now for me to have a job when I can't work around DH's. So I feel for you!


PS I don't let Savannah over there without me there because they have made me feel unwelcome on more than one occasion.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my very cute siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
November 26th, 2008, 04:08 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
Posts: 22,176
Send a message via AIM to Chunky Monkey Send a message via Yahoo to Chunky Monkey
Exactly! And everything is all fine and dandy as long as things are going ok. But as soon as anything bad happens then the entire blame falls right on me. I am sick of it!
__________________
Thank you KimberlyD0 for my absolutely beautiful siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #4  
November 27th, 2008, 12:59 PM
koalasandduckies's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Maine
Posts: 830
Send a message via AIM to koalasandduckies Send a message via Yahoo to koalasandduckies
I totally know how you feel. You should have been a fly on the wall today. Their favorite pastime I swear is to get us all together for dinner, then sit there and pick me apart until they have said everything they can say and I feel like trash. Lets not even get into the fight on the day I was due about everything. To sum it all up though, I got pregnant just to be in their family, I should have 'killed the thing' when I found out about, I am a horrible mother because I don't keep the house clean enough and I can't provide for both of the girls and I am a lazy ******* ***** who does nothing but live off of people. Oh the joys of holidays.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my very cute siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
November 30th, 2008, 12:46 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
That's the worst when they are nice to your face but talking behind your back. People tend not to think about the fact that when mom goes back to work someone has to watch the kids and daycare is not cheap!! I agree that if you aren't welcome then the whole family isn't welcome since a family is a united unit and can't function with a piece missing. Hugs and good luck!!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #6  
December 3rd, 2008, 08:00 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,652
Heck if it were me, I would consider it a fabulous vacation to have a reason not to go over there!
__________________
*Natural Birthing, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, baby wearing momma to 2 amazing children, Micah (5-22-09) and Reagan (4-21-11)
Reply With Quote
  #7  
December 10th, 2008, 10:50 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
Posts: 22,176
Send a message via AIM to Chunky Monkey Send a message via Yahoo to Chunky Monkey
Quote:
I totally know how you feel. You should have been a fly on the wall today. Their favorite pastime I swear is to get us all together for dinner, then sit there and pick me apart until they have said everything they can say and I feel like trash. Lets not even get into the fight on the day I was due about everything. To sum it all up though, I got pregnant just to be in their family, I should have 'killed the thing' when I found out about, I am a horrible mother because I don't keep the house clean enough and I can't provide for both of the girls and I am a lazy ******* ***** who does nothing but live off of people. Oh the joys of holidays.[/b]
OMG that is horrible! But I have to say, I feel like there is more important things in life than keeping a spotless house. Now there is a difference between "lived in" and "trashed." Mine is lived in. I am sure your IL's would be appalled by the way MY house looks but my MIL has nothing to say about mine....hers is actually trashed. When Scott came to live with me, all his clothes and everything he brought had a strange smell to them, it took forever to get rid of the smell! It was kinda like oil for cooking, since his parents deep fry almost anything you can think of.

At holidays they don't spend much time picking me apart as his siblings tormenting my DH. I have heard it all....since he looks the LEAST like my FIL, he is the milk man's son, that his mom sat down to have a BM and out Scott came, etc. He has heard this all his life. And until I heard all this, I wondered why he had self esteem issue. I know why now.



Quote:
That's the worst when they are nice to your face but talking behind your back. People tend not to think about the fact that when mom goes back to work someone has to watch the kids and daycare is not cheap!! I agree that if you aren't welcome then the whole family isn't welcome since a family is a united unit and can't function with a piece missing. Hugs and good luck!![/b]
Oh that's exactly what they do! And I am still looking for a job. Something EITHER around Scott's work schedule or around the kids school schedule. I can't afford daycare. And I feel I would be working JUST to pay them!

I asked Scott about how he felt about us not going and he said it wouldn't be the same without his wife, therefore he is not going either.


Quote:
Heck if it were me, I would consider it a fabulous vacation to have a reason not to go over there![/b]
Oh I do! Going to the IL's for the holidays is very stressful anyways. We stayed home for Thanksgiving. We are going to *mostly* be home for Christmas, then go to a friends house for the afternoon/evening.
__________________
Thank you KimberlyD0 for my absolutely beautiful siggy!


Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:53 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0