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  #1  
December 17th, 2008, 10:55 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ohio
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Here's the current situation in a nutshell:

I am 8 months pregnant. My boyfriend (and father of my baby) and I currently live with his mother, stepfather, and 8 year old sister. We were previously living in an apartment, but since becoming pregnant, they offered to let us live with them until we got enough money saved to move out again. It's been about 3 months since we moved in, and about a month ago we learned that his mother and stepfather will be getting a divorce. She can not afford to live by herself, and thus has recruited her son and I to move with her.

I am very nervous about this. These 3 months haven't exactly been horrible, but I'm worried that once the baby comes into the picture she will try to take over. How can I be respectful but still have boundaries?

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  #2  
December 17th, 2008, 03:35 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
That's a really tough situation to be in. I know you feel badly for her but reality is that if you can afford to move out on your own, I would. She's going to have to make it on her own eventually. You don't want to live with her forever. If you do find a place together, then it would really help if there were a natural division to the place you are living, for example bedrooms that are seperated like one in the basement or main floor and others upstairs. It would also help if your room was big enough that you can not only fit your bed, the baby's needs, and a small sitting area and tv so that you have a retreat, a place of your own. Even better if you have say a basement area that has bedroom, other room, and bathroom so that all you share is the kitchen. Living together will naturally create problems and invasion of privacy because you will be in such close quarters. Hugs and good luck!
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  #3  
December 17th, 2008, 07:12 PM
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Quote:
That's a really tough situation to be in. I know you feel badly for her but reality is that if you can afford to move out on your own, I would. She's going to have to make it on her own eventually. You don't want to live with her forever. If you do find a place together, then it would really help if there were a natural division to the place you are living, for example bedrooms that are seperated like one in the basement or main floor and others upstairs. It would also help if your room was big enough that you can not only fit your bed, the baby's needs, and a small sitting area and tv so that you have a retreat, a place of your own. Even better if you have say a basement area that has bedroom, other room, and bathroom so that all you share is the kitchen. Living together will naturally create problems and invasion of privacy because you will be in such close quarters. Hugs and good luck![/b]

I do feel badly for her. But my boyfriend won't 'leave his mom'. He thinks she is his responsibility and he has to take care of her.

And the other thing is, is that we can't really afford to live by ourselves right now either. My job is not reliable at the moment. I was getting 30+ hours a week, and now I'm only getting an average of 15. That's definitely not enough to be able to take care of a baby and a house/apartment.

The house we're looking at has two floors. She said we could have the top floor which has 2 bedrooms and a bathroom.

I'm just really nervous that there won't be any boundaries. I want to be able to be our own family separate from her if that makes sense.
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  #4  
December 18th, 2008, 07:17 AM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
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That would work pretty well for you then. I would consider setting up the second bedroom as living area for you and your family rather than a bedroom for the baby. Have a couch, tv, desk for your bills etc, the baby's swing, maybe even a small fridge and microwave so you can keep snacks and things up there so when you want to you can just chill in your own space, you're all set. I'd talk to your BF and tell him that you want it clear that the upstairs is your space and that there is no reason for anyone to go up there without an invite or permission.
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