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Ok here's how it is. My husband and daughter and I are living with my inlaws. He is going to school and i'm working. I am paying for our insurance, and some of our food, and almost 100% if everything for our daughter. Half the time we stay at my parents house as well, mostly weekends but sometimes during the week and my mother watched my daughter sometimes when I work during the week if my husband can't. We have had lots of problems with MIL in the past since we got married last year. Since my daughter was born in Sept. she has been worse. We stayed at my parents house for a month and a half after she was born cause I ended up having a Csect. and since MIL and FIL work and my mom doesn't we figured that would be best since my hubbie goes to school everyday during the week.
My MIL was SO rude and mean when we weren't home for that time she even threatened to kick us out quite a few times because we didn't come home when SHE wanted. Once we finally went back home she was better for a while. Now she is being horrible again saying she doesn't ever get to watch her granchild since my mom watches her most of the time when I work (I work MAYBE 2-3 days a week...) even though as soon as i'm back home from work she gets to see her. and on the other night she gets to see her whenever she wants! We left Haley (my daughter) with her last sunday and when we got back I tried to take her from MIL and she kept holding onto her tight I had to pull pretty hard to get DD away from MIL, (not hurting Haley of course...) and not only that but earlier in the day we were at my parents and she called to ask when she was getting to watch HER baby. I was like "david will be back later." (my hubbie) and she was like "i don't get it?" I told her her MY daughter will be there later. That seemed to shut her up about that...
And NOW she is trying to claim my DH and DD on HER taxes. We have been going on about this for over a week and she was telling me oh you won't get anything if you claim them only what you put in... I told her no and showed her the paperwork showing otherwise. Well after she had looked at it and we came back later that night (same night she tried to hold onto my DD) she told us basically THIS is how its going to be whether you like it or not. She was going to claim DD and DH and they would give us some of their tax return.
Now the only reason she's trying to claim them is because they end up oweing. Well DH and I DONT have any other way to get money and if we don't get this money it will leave us in their house even longer. She is blaming us for her marriage not doing so well right now, she's blaming us for her debt (even though if she didn't think she could handle my DH's school she shouldn't have paid for it) and some other things. She tried telling me she could claim my DD without our consent WHICH I found out is NOT true because we go back and forth so much between houses they couldn't. She has told me some other things that are not true about our taxes as well that i've proved her wrong on.
She is now telling us if she claims my DH and DD she will give us back a certain amount. DH and I were going to file together and give them a certain amount to help with their debt and IF she gave us the amount she says she will we will be getting a TINY bit less then us doing it the other way only his parents get more on top of that.
My DH has basically agreed with her mother most of the way and neither of them really believe what i've told them even thought i've been right about almost everything about it. DH thinks we owe it to them to do this. I really don't believe my MIL right now because she has told us different things everyday about how much they owe/what we can or cannot do, so I really don't trust them to give us that money back.
Its hurting DH's and I's marriage really bad and his mom is the reason it started. She has other family she could turn to for help but won't so instead is asking her son and I for the money WE desperatly need to fix our cars/pay off OUR debt/save to get out of the house.
Am I being stupid because I don't want to go along with her agreement? My DH trusts his mom of course but after everything that's happened I don't think I can. Should I just trust them and end all of this and if we get screwed over we will move out/not have anything to do with them?
Thank you so much for my beautiful siggy Meganpixel!!!
First, welcome to the Inlaws Board, I'm Stephanne the host of this board. I hope that you come back often.
Now to the problems. Does your DH work at all? If so and he made at least $3500 your ILs cannot legally claim him as a dependent relative. They absolutely cannot claim your daughter on their tax return because she is your qualifying child. The only way they could claim her is if she was not your qualifying child. So there are definately legal issues with what they are proposing as far as your tax returns. You can see IRS publication 501 for information on who can be claimed as a dependent. You have the legal right to claim DD on your tax return and really you should claim DH too but of course he has to sign so I guess it's up to him what he does. I would tell them that is what you are going to do and that they risk IRS audit and penalties if they go ahead and claim her anyway. I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time living with them. I agree that you need your tax return to try to get out of there as soon as possible. I've never heard of a situation that goes well when living with relatives for an extended amount of time. I can hardly take more than a week of visiting with even my family who I love. You need your own space. That's the only way your MILs possessiveness of your daughter is going to every get better too. You are going to have to just ignore her and do what you need to do. I wouldn't leave my children with my MIL alone for any amount of time. She complains occasionally and I'm sure I'll probably hear about it when this baby is born because I had my parents come to watch my older son instead of them. But I need to do what is best for my child. Hugs!!
Actually I did find out they can claim her, I called the IRS to see if she was wrong and she can claim her ONLY if I sign and paper along with DH, and my parents. And my parents won't do it unless I can talk them into it. My husband only worked for a month or two last year and made less than $1,000. I really want to claim my husband as well because I can't get any EIC for my DD if I don't file with DH. The only reason that my DH is wanting to have them do it is because they get money out of it as well and won't owe anything - but if they don't end up giving us the money they promise we are pretty much screwed. I have been trying and trying to find a way around this where I can show my husband its stupid for them to claim her and him but he won't listen to anything I have to say.
Thank you so much for my beautiful siggy Meganpixel!!!