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Forum: Inlaws

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  #1  
March 19th, 2010, 07:04 AM
girlggc's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,053
Hi, I'm Rachel. I'm still TTC, but I'm stressing already in regards to the inlaws. First, I should mention that we live in a 2 bedroom apartment in their basement. Yes, we pay them rent; we are not freeloaders. There are a few reasons we live with the inlaws. First, DH is handicap and most apartments just don't fit his needs in regards to handicap showers, flooring, etc. Another reason is that my father in law is really not doing that well and the doctor told him not to do too much, so I help out around the house in regards to lawn mowing, snow shoveling, bringing groceries in, etc. This is necessary because my mother in law has a torn rotator cuff and physically can't do a lot. My sister in law, who also lives in the house, has a slipped disk and was told not to lift anything heavier than a milk carton. My aunt in law (DH's aunt), who also lives in this house, has breathing problems and really can't do much. Yet another reason we live here is that we're allowed to have our dogs, plus there's an added bonus of a nice yard for them to run around in since the property is an entire acre. Another good thing is that when we have kids, this house is in a better school district than DH and I would be able to afford were we living on our own.

For the most part, we all get along pretty well. However, I do have a few gripes, mostly in regards to our ttc. See, my mother in law can be overbearing at times and she's already made a few comments that worry me. First is in regard to christening the baby. See, I'm Jewish and the inlaws, and DH, are Catholic. Anyway, my DH and I have agreed to raise our child/ren as Jews. Well the Jewish religion does not christen/baptize. In fact, it goes completely against the Jewish religion, so DH and I have agreed not to do it. I informed my mother in law that I don't want to baptize any future kids (we were discussing beliefs in general and I was explaining that Jews don't baptize) and she said "Well, you'll baptize them and then raise them however you want."

Another comment that makes me worry is that I really don't want anybody waiting in the waiting room while I'm in labor. Call me selfish, but that's how I feel. I feel that DH's attention will not be completely on me since anyone in the waiting room will want regular updates from DH. I casually informed my mother in law of this, because we were having a nice chat, and she said "Oh, I'll be there."

Another comment that was bugging me is that somehow the subject of finding out the baby's gender came up, I think my DH brought it up. Anyway, I want to know and he doesn't. So I said that I'll find out and just won't tell him. My mother in law said "You'll tell me." Uh, if I'm not telling my own husband, why would I tell her?
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  #2  
March 22nd, 2010, 12:29 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Home
Posts: 5,644
Unfortunately, since you are living with them, you won't be able to get away from them and their comments.

As far as the other issues, your DH has to back you up. He needs to tell his parents what you have both agreed on.

baptism - you're the parents, if you're not baptizing them, then you're not baptizing them.

waiting room - you can't keep anyone out of the waiting room, but if you really don't want anyone around, then don't tell them when you're going into labor.

Good luck!
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