We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to email@example.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
Where do I begin? I suppose most of you know that my MIL is not one of my favorite people. She has very few redeeming qualities and yet she tries to make DH and I feel guilty because she is a stranger to my DD. Hey, neither of us told her to choose a keg party over seeing her granddaughter last autumn. Neither of us suggested she spend Katie's first Thanksgiving with her boyfriend in a hotel somewhere outside of Syracuse, NY, instead of being in Indiana with the rest of the family. We gave up a day with my family so we could be at her house on Christmas Day (even though all she did was get drunk and curse out our nephew which totally terrified our then five week old daughter). We drove 12 hours on the day after Christmas so we could see my family and introduce Katie to my sister (who was not able to come up for her birth). She claimed to have had a stroke two months ago so DH would rush to her bedside but then once he got there, she was released from the hospital the next morning because all they could find wrong with her was a runny nose and itchy eyes.
Anyhow,I posted some pictures of my DD and my dad yesterday and found a comment from MIL today. It read:
I miss my grandbaby...please let her know she has another grandma..
My response was: We do tell her that she has another set of grandparents and when one of you posts something about her, we show it to her.
The reason Katie does not know her paternal grandparents (yes, my FIL is as bad as my MIL. . . although he seems to have gotten better in the past few months) is that they have made no effort to see her even when they have been less than three hours away from us while traveling from one place to another. Since they are both retired, it isn't like either of them had a schedule to keep, but they seemed to be unable to fit a slight detour (we were willing to meet them at a central location off I-40) to see my precious Katie.
Katie has a great relationship with my parents. They were there when she was born. They stayed for three weeks and then only went home to NC to get things ready for our arrival on the day after Christmas. My mother came back to stay with us while we packed up to move to NC (which was roughly 5 weeks) and she bonded with Katie.
By the way, my mother is battling breast cancer at the moment so there are no pictures on FB or anywhere else of her and Katie (Mother's choice, not mine) so it isn't like there are loads of Katie and Gran pics plastered on my page, hinting that I was announcing to the world that Katie only had one grandma. (yes, this is rambling, but I am irked)
During Katie's first three weeks of life, my MIL was doing things with her boyfriend (dinner theater, trips to see his friends and by her own admission. . . lots of sex) and could not drive 10 minutes to see us. During the three weeks between my parents leaving and our going to NC for the holidays, she popped a time or two but could not be there more because she said she 'missed Jer'. Waaa!!!! Poor senior citizen sex fiend can't stand to be away from her lover because she might miss an opportunity for sex. I was being treated for PPD during the weeks I was alone for most of the day and evening with Katie, yet she couldn't be bothered to help us.
A part of me wanted to post something crabby as my response, but I love DH too much to blast his mother all over FB. An inlaws forum on a mommies board is a place I will blast her however because it is easier to let it out here than let my frustration simmer inside me. I don't need any more blood pressure issues.
I can only imagine how hard it must have been to not tear into her. lol. I don't know that I would have had that kind of strength, since my dh is pretty much indifferent to my mil. He's never defended her to me! lol