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I am not in your situation im sorry. But you do need legal help immediately. How long has he been with her? Go to a site called Avvo.com - Expert Advice When You Need It Most its free. they will be able to help you. Its all free legal advice and they can even help steer you in the direction of an affordable lawyer or where to find one. Please keep us posted and I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
No, the state wont always keep a child from its mother. Unless she can PROVE you are she has no legal recourse. You NEED to go to a judge, you can print the papers out on your own. File to have him given back. Better yet, if there IS NO paperwork stating she has any rights to keep him you can call the police and file a kidnapped child and get restraining orders against her. Unless she can prove in a court you are a threat, and it will be her burden to prove, she as no legal rights. Have you spoken to local police? You need to document everything that happens! EVERYTHING! Research the laws in your state and hers. Its important to know. Can you record any conversations with her without informing her first? Find out. Here in AZ and in NM you can record every conversation you want as long as ONE party knows, in other words, YOU know you are recording THEREFORE it is a legal recording and can be used in court. THEN once you find out THAT, you can record everything between the two of you. Get a recorder so you can put your phone on speaker and record conversations, anything you do in person, anything with your son. EVERYTHING you can document is always very important.
UNLESS she has established the custody, which she would have had to take you to court for. Unless you were served with a court hearing or a termination, then its not real. SHe would have had to have you served. GO back to the courts and file for SHOW CAUSE and make HER prove you are a threat. SHE will have to prove undeniably to a court that you are unfit. ANd even then, the judge should have a granted visitation rather than a stripping of all custodial rights. Were you legally served with papers? Or did she essentially throw a bunch at you? have you thoroughly looked at everything to see if its even signed by a judge?
Then you need to appeal to the court where this all took place. If it was a TEMP order, HOW LONG is the order FOR? What exactly does it state in the order? Have you signed up for a court arranged parenting class? Do this ASAP, as you can USE IT (not literally, but you can use it in court). Appeal to the judge that the temp order is no longer needed you need everything you can gather to prove you are of no threat, character statements, clean drug tests, the certification for taking a good state set parenting class. EVERYTHING you can gather to show you are capable of raising your own child. ANY contact between you and the grandmother from BEFORE this happened when you asked him to stay with her, if you can PROVE that it was only meant to be temporary that will help. HOWEVER< the court may also ask why you never called the police when she refused to give him back. The grandmother may try to pull abandonment on you. Unless you can prove she refused to bring him back, but even then, unless you can prove you tried, and the best proof is that of police reports or calls to the police that you made to try to get him back. This will be a long process. But unless the court fully feels you are incapable of raising your own child they will not take custody and all rights from you. You as the mother have more rights than anyone in the world, this is your child, not hers. You need to stand up and assert your rights. temporary orders are not forever, how long ago was the order made? and what were the terms of the order?