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They hate me..


Forum: Inlaws

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  #1  
July 24th, 2006, 02:58 PM
duality's Avatar Miss Mama
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,158
Woohoo, this will be the PERFECT board.

Brandon and I are still just engaged, but his parents HATE me. When we first got together, they were okay with me, but after I had our daughter they began to hate me. Brandon is still living at home so that he can save up enough money to allow me to continue staying at home with the baby. He works full-time and is in his second year of college on a scholarship. His relationship with his parents wasn't so great when I came into the picture, but now the bad feelings between them have spread to me. We frequently went out with his father for lunch dates and whatnot when I was pregnant. Pat (his dad) and Cece (his stepmom) came to see me in the hospital the day after I had the baby. His dad asked us to bring the baby over when she was a few days shy of 4 weeks, and did nothing but give me crap for everything I do with my daughter. She takes a pacifier when she's tired, and of course he had something to say about that. I breastfeed her, but formula is better because unless you have a perfect diet (which he pointed out I don't) you're starving your baby, blahblahblahblahblah. (this coming from a man that lets his 2.5 year old son run around screaming BANGBANG with toy guns while drinking COFFEE from a bottle..) After that, he never asked to see the baby. Instead, he tried to have Brandon's car taken away so that we couldn't see each other. His stepmother began taking his phone and sorting through our text messages and tried to keep his phone from him. His dad preaches on and on for hours to Brandon about my evil non-believing ways and tells him he prays that Brandon will see that he needs to stop feeling sorry for me because we have a baby. I've never done anything to these people, and they hate me. My entire pregnancy I was told by his mother that I wasn't drinking enough water (I live in AZ, lady. I had pre-eclampsia and no matter HOW much water I drank and how much sodium I didn't eat, I swoll up. Nothing I could do about it.) and was preached to about how I need to eat this and this and this. I was eating too much fruit and there was just too much sugar in it, blahblah. His father would frequently tell him that I'm "not going to want to get up with the baby in the middle of the night" and that I need to take the soother away because she'll cry for it, blahblah. These people detest me, and I have no clue why. We're looking for an apartment right now and expect to be moved in together within the next couple of months.. after all the rambling, I DO have a question.

How do I deal with his parents after we move out? We're trying to pick a date to get married, and most of them are fairly soon - within the next year. He's said that his parents won't be invited to whatever kind of wedding we choose to have, and he says that they won't be invited to our apartment, but I'm not so sure he'll stick to his word, as they ARE his parents. Do I ignore them, or do I stick up for myself? They've insulted me and called me incredibly rude names many, many times. Do I just be the bigger person, or after he's moved out, do I say something?
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  #3  
July 24th, 2006, 03:40 PM
Meegan
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Posts: n/a
Sounds alot like my inlaws...they think I have "taken" their baby boy, like they own him or something. When in fact, I have made him happy and given him a child, and them a grandchild. But it will never be good enough I don't think. At least you have your man on your side, he could be the guy who sides with his mother all the time, and that REALLY takes its toll on the relationship (we almost didn't get married). But keep a smile on your face, don't let them know they get to you (it makes them even more mad), and kill em with kindness!!! I try it and it seems to work most of the time, I can tell she cringes when I act sweet as candy lol!
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  #4  
July 24th, 2006, 05:00 PM
duality's Avatar Miss Mama
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,158
There have definitely been a few instances where Brandon has taken his father's side, and it really irritated me. He stuck up for the man when he assualted the two step kids with his 2.5 year old son in the other room. Lately he's started to realize that his father can't walk on water and that what he says is very uncalled for. I do think that he is jealous that Brandon is no longer a child and is growing up and starting is life. I think it makes him uncomfortable that even though I'm not the kind of person he wanted to see Brandon marry, we're happier than ever.

I've told Brandon that all bets are off when we are living together and he's no longer living under their roof - I told him that if one thing is said that I find rude, I'm going to defend myself and it won't be pretty.
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