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I'm so upset right now. in a week i have my son's dedication. Me and my husband are arguing cause i don't want his sister to come cause i'm tired of all her sh## she has been giving me and i finally went off on her ( dec.26th) and we got into a argument on email on the 29th of dec. i was telling her i'm tired of her always thinking that everything is about alex ( my dh). i'm a part of this family too sorry if you don't like that he married me but he did and you have to accept that and stop being obessed with him. she took me saying obessed was that i was trying to say that she wants to have sex with him. i wasn't saying that at all. no where near that. it was she is always around and always saying his name and always has to be where he is everything is about him or her. and it isn't. i told him that she isnt' invited he said that isn't right. i said is it right that i have to put up with her crap when i see her. now that she knows y i don't like her she will use that against me and do stuff to piss me off more. he can't see that. he sees it as it isnt' fair to her that she doesn't get invited i said well she put that on herself when she started acting like this. so i'm mad because he doesnt' see my point in this. he is making it like i'm the bad person because i'm not inviting her. everytime i invite her here to the kids birthdays she is always anywhere he is i can't deal with it anymore. i won't deal with it anymore. and i said my peace to her and he wants to act like i never said that and she can still come around and act like she wants, and i'm suppose to take it. i really hate having her as my sil. i use to be a really nice person but because i've had to deal with this for so many years i'm this really angry woman now. i mean i have no friends the only people i talk to is my family. i ran them away because of all the anger i've had to put up with for 11 years because of her. everytime i know she is coming somewhere i don't want to go or be there. that is even my own kids parties. i shouldn't have to feel like that. it sucks. and now i have to deal with him saying that i'm being unfair because she isn't invited to the dedication or anything else. i think he thinks things will be worse for the family if i don't but i can't put their feelings before mine, not anymore. i have been screwed to many times by her and can't handle it anymore.
if anyone reads this do you think i'm wrong or should i do what he wants and compromise and let her come and put up with her crap.
I've found that DH's never see what you see when it comes to their family. I don't think you should have to put up with her. I guess the question to ask yourself is if it's going to cause more problems for you if DH is mad and resentful over her not being invited than having to put up with her. I guess another thing to think about is if your DH will actually abide by your wishes or if he will invite her anyways even if you don't want her there. Because if that's the case, then it may not be worth the fight because you won't get what you want anyway. I would try to sit DH down again and talk about her behavior and how it makes you feel. And then talk about the dedication and why you don't want her there or if he's unwilling to keep her away, what he can do to help you and discourage her bad behavior. Let us know how it turns out. Hugs!
I'm so sorry you have to put up with that That must not be fun!
Think about this though...if you don't invite her, your probably burning a bridge. Are you prepared to do that? Will DH resent that?
Is there a way you can invite her but set strong boundaries? I mean, have her come but make it very clear that you are not going to put up with any of her bad behavior anymore (11 years is long enough!).
Also think how this could your kid/s. How will they feel not having their aunt in their life?