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My first IL vent in here.........


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  #1  
March 15th, 2008, 08:40 AM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 90
My DH and I have been married for almost 4 yrs now. And I despise his family. Honestly, you will probably be seeing a lot more of me now that I saw this board. These people anger me so often. Where to even start?

Ok.... The latest GROAN.

I had 3 pregnancy losses recently. First was in October, which no one knew about. We were privately TTC. I had another in January that everyone found out about because I wound up in the ER.
I was on bedrest for a whole weekend while my bloodwork was being figured out. They never bothered to call and check on me.. In fact, they kept calling and insisting my DH and kids come stay with them for the weekend, leaving me all alone. MIL came to sit with the kids for my final blood draw, where it was confirmed I lost my pregnancy.
She didn't show any concern for me when I returned with the news. Saw me in pain, physically and emotionally, but left within 10 minutes of me arriving home. Didn't offer to take one or both kids for a bit so I could nap, didn't offer to stick around so I could get my prescriptions (left me hanging until DH arrived from work HOURS later). She just left.

February I got pregnant again right away. Soon after finding out, began bleeding. For 2 weeks the docs couldn't figure out what was going on. It was too early to see anything on the u/s, my horomones were going up but not like they should. I was in MAJOR pain, to the point of doubling over, vomiting, passing out, etc. IL's never showed concern again. Even after 4 ER visits over the pain.
One day I had a bad "attack"..... I got very dizzy and disoriented, almost dropped my son, was vomiting and in severe pain. I managed to get MIL on the phone..... she wouldn't take me to the ER, just said she'd try to get a hold of my DH, who was working 30 mins away. I wound up passing out at home, with my two kids here..... Thank God I managed to get them down for naps when this started.... And my DH found me unconcious in our bed when he got here.

We finally found out I had an ectopic pregnancy, after going in for surgery. They did a D&C, then Laproscopy and found the pregnancy and removed it.

Surprise, Surprise......... No help. DH got MIL to watch the kids during my surgery, but she was already calling his cell on the way home from the hospital to see when he was coming to get them. Then FIL offers to get my Rx's for me....... Then gets here with them and had the nerve to ask for some of my painkillers!!! (They self medicate all the time)

Through everything MIL hasn't been able to keep her mouth shut. Making snide comments about how we can't try for another baby because SHE can't handle anymore of this.... Saying how we are slowly killing her trying to have another baby..... Even going as far as to comment that she hoped I couldn't get in to the OB for my bloodtests to figure out why it was happening; She knew I wouldn't TTC again until I had some answers.
And let me quote her drunk rant from one evening..... She went off on DH, cursing and name calling nasty like... Telling him everything I was going through was all his fault, that he needed to stop, and SHE (again) can't handle anymore. I went off on her saying it was my decision to have another child (and a lot more) and she had the NERVE to tell me "Don't worry Sweetie, you don't have to protect him. I know you wouldn't do this to ME on purpose."

Ok....... She never congratulated me through either pregnancy. She never consoled me through a loss. Never helped out through any of it. Never even spoke of it, except to claim it was hurting her. Talked about us to our faces and behind our backs.

So where does she get off?!?!?!?
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Currently on a TTC Break due to 3 lost pregnancies. Planning to get back in the game in Aug 2008 after a (hopefully) great summer break with the family.
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  #2  
March 15th, 2008, 12:35 PM
Coffee_Bean's Avatar Cuz I got it like that!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,390
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Wow, I thought my MIL was bad. I am very sorry for all of your losses. And I hope that you get some answers on that soon.

My MIL was the same way when I was pregnant with my daughter. I had so many complications, but she never once picked up the phone to see how I was doing. She lives 2 blocks away from me and never stopped by. Now that my daughter is here, she constantly wants to come over and call to see how we are doing. HMPH!

Glad you found this board. These ladies are awesome!! Sorry to say it like this, but I hope to see you around more often!
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Melba

Patiently TTC#2

M/C April 2012
M/C August 2012
M/C March 2013
M/C January 2014
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  #3  
March 15th, 2008, 06:14 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
Welcome to the board, Heather! I'm Stephanne, one of the co-hosts of the ILs board. I'm so sorry for your losses. I hope that you get some answers soon.

Your MIL sound very selfish! And I thought mine was bad! I'm so sorry that you had to deal with her on top of everything else. I hope that you stick around. This is a great place to vent and get out all your frustrations. There are lots of grea girls here who will commisserate with you! Hugs!
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  #4  
March 17th, 2008, 10:51 AM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 90
Thanks girls! I will probably be posting here A LOT over time....... Sad but true. LOL. My InLaws are severly dysfunctional...Just wait.
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Currently on a TTC Break due to 3 lost pregnancies. Planning to get back in the game in Aug 2008 after a (hopefully) great summer break with the family.
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