Log In Sign Up

Do you get comments?


Forum: Widely Spaced Siblings

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Widely Spaced Siblings LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
March 1st, 2010, 08:00 AM
sarah*'s Avatar Loving My Piglets
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: England, UK
Posts: 33,777
Just popping in from closely spaced siblings, we talk alot about the comments we get when our children are closely spaced especially asking if it was planned that way, we usually get the "you are crazy" comments for doing it so close?

Having widely spaced siblings, do you get the same comments for doing it so far apart? do you take offence to them? what do you usually reply?
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #2  
March 1st, 2010, 12:01 PM
Kathode's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 2,615
Sigh,

Unfortunately, yes. And people can be so rude, like asking if they have the same father and stuff like that! In our case, the 8 year gap is due to secondary infertility, so when people ask why we waited so long to have another, I just want to punch them in the nose!

Really, what I want to say is: Non of your business, and how rude of you to ask! But usually I just answer honestly.
__________________
Kathie






Reply With Quote
  #3  
March 10th, 2010, 11:49 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 276
I have three closely spaced kids and now we'll have what I consider a wide space (almost 6 years) when this one is born. This was totally not planned and it's so obvious to me that this baby will look like an "oops" to everyone.

The ultrasound tech asked me if this baby was my husband's first!!! (assuming the other kids have a different father... which I guess I can understand, I just could not believe that she asked me that!)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
March 11th, 2010, 08:34 AM
mom2pne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Janesville, WI
Posts: 2,279
I did get comments when I was pregnant with my twins and after I had them. There's almost 10 years between them and ds#2. But most of the comments were why are you having more children after having a child who has health issues and is delayed. I always said cuz I'm being blessed with them!
__________________
Simone SAHM to 5 boys Trenton 19, Tyler 17, twins Peyton and Eli 7, & Lennox 4
My Chart
Reply With Quote
  #5  
March 24th, 2010, 07:02 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 267
Because I have 7 there is obviously a big gap between the oldest and the youngest, and smaller gaps between say, the middle two, so I get it from both ends.

For example, I was at the supermarket with Melora and Ashley, who are 6 and 7, and someone asked if they were twins, I said no and said that Melora was a year older, and got the "Only a YEAR? Why did you want to do that to yourself?"

Then, just a few days ago I had to take Ariadne (17) to get an xray done during school hours and had Piper (3) with me and there was a very rude woman there that made the comment to (who im assuming was her husband) whispering, but still loud enough for me to hear, "Look at that, the teenager is promiscuous and has a baby, and the mother takes care of it, dosent it make you sick?"

Felt like hitting her over the head.
__________________
Mum to 7 wonderful children: Ariadne (18) Rhie (15) Jesse (14) Evangeline (10) Melora (7) Ashley (6) Piper (4)



Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 2nd, 2010, 11:46 AM
iCathy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 1,794
I get the "oh, I take it this one wasn't planned..." I have a 10 yr old DD, an 8 yr old DS and my newst DS who is 6 months. Actually, it was planned and with the same father. Imagine that!

Cathy
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my sweet siggy!!

Make a pregnancy ticker
Reply With Quote
  #7  
June 16th, 2010, 11:39 PM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 26
It annoys me when people assume that because someone's kids are spaced apart they must come from different fathers. My younger brothers are only a year and a half apart and THEY come from different fathers. LOL!
__________________

Osker Benjamin - 7.06
June HarperLee - 11.10
Reply With Quote
  #8  
June 21st, 2010, 08:48 PM
P*to*the*ORTIA's Avatar Portia
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fulton, MO
Posts: 4,236
Send a message via ICQ to P*to*the*ORTIA
I've been asked if my first 2 (7.5 yr gap) have different dads.

I got annoyed but just told them we weren't ready for another.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #9  
June 24th, 2010, 03:44 PM
KeriMomof2's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 145
Iv never had any rudness really ds & dd are 5 yrs apart on purpous..my dh and I tried for both...took 8 months to concieve dd & 6 months for ds.
I have gotten the why we waited so long questions ...but thats bout it
__________________
*Keri*I am a Co-sleeping ...Retired-EBF'er "8+years total"...No-circumcision... Non-Vaxing...Home-schooling/Road-schooling ~> College Student Momma, Who loves Blogging<~click to View O' and did I mention I am now a Avon Sales Rep ? www.youravon.com/Keri
Reply With Quote
  #10  
June 30th, 2010, 02:31 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NE MS
Posts: 9,509
I have had many rude comments.
Like " are you crazy?" and "I'm glad it's you and not me" and people assume that he wasn't planned and I make sure to tell them that he was very much planned,because he was.
And the looks I get......
I have a 21 year old and a 2 year old.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #11  
July 3rd, 2010, 02:23 PM
ManInTheMoon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 12,171
I never visit this board, but my other board is slow today and I'm feeling chatty, so I'll chime in.

Mine are nearly 7 years apart. I usually ward off the comments by stating flat out that "I would have liked to have them closer together, but life doesn't always go according to plan". We started trying for the second when the first was 2, but we had trouble conceiving and then had 2 miscarriages with breaks in between to heal emotionally. The comments I do get don't bother me in the least, though. No one has ever asked if they were from different fathers or if the second was unplanned.
__________________
Rochelle

Reply With Quote
  #12  
July 16th, 2010, 06:55 PM
momma23girls's Avatar and one little boy!!
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 663
I have 17, 16, 5 and a newborn and I get comments all the time-- I find it rude. The one I get the most is people asking me if this is my second marriage Like I'd ever get married again... yeah right!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #13  
September 17th, 2010, 08:23 PM
simplycorey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,734
I have 4 closely spaced children (less than 5 years between first and last) and now I am due with my 5th 10 years after my youngest.

I received a ton of rude comments with my four - including people asking if they were from the same father. I was young, so apparently that means I slept around?

This time, it is my second marriage and I offer that information freely. People think I'm crazy for starting all over but I'm extremely excited and very happy and that's all that matters.
__________________
Corey

Mom to: Kimberly (15), Caleb (14), Micayla (12),
Zechariah (11) and Frankie - born 1/3/11



Reply With Quote
  #14  
September 24th, 2010, 08:29 AM
JaxonsMom2010's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Lone Star State
Posts: 4,937
I don't post here, but I tend to lurk...

I have three closely spaced kids (3 kids in 4 years) and then I have a 6 1/2 year gap. My kids are 11, 10, 7 and 6 months.

I get asked all the time if the baby was an oops or if he is my husband's first or if they all have the same dad. I even got asked if the kids were all mine once. I generally just smile and say something smarty in a real nice voice/way.
__________________
Christy - Mom of 5




Reply With Quote
  #15  
October 11th, 2010, 08:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 3,125
I think no matter what your circumstances are there will always be someone with a rude comment. DS is 12 and people have always asked why I didn't have anymore and how unfair it is for him to be an only child. I usually don't comment but how rude, they have no idea what I have or haven't gone through TTC and it is unfair that they ask, they are jus nosy.
__________________


>
Reply With Quote
  #16  
October 11th, 2010, 08:53 PM
mollycat's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2009
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 454
Send a message via MSN to mollycat
Yep, we occasionally get asked if we are taking our grandchild out. Ummm, I know we are a little older, but ................., (Ds1 is 18 and Ds2 is 13). We've had the "are you mad?". We've actually had a family breakdown with SIL who called me "a nutter" for having a baby (at my age).

It took 3 years (and fertility meds) to conceive Ds2, - unexplained infertility, blocked tubes, many years of taking breaks to deal with the emotional sides of these, finally another diagnosis of PCOS, more blocked tubes, more fertility meds, a miscarriage before we got DD.

Another one we got is "I bet you're glad you've got a girl". Ummmm, honestly, it doesn't bother me, after all these years I'm glad I've got a BABY. (and if DH would agree I would gladly go again)
__________________
mollycat (40) & DH (44)
Ds1 (18) & Ds2 (13) { our little angel 18/11/07 8w2d } Dd; arrived 22/12/09

thanks ~Vicki~ for this amazingsiggy.

Reply With Quote
  #17  
October 22nd, 2010, 01:57 PM
mommy2mykiddos's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,209
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie Giselle View Post
Because I have 7 there is obviously a big gap between the oldest and the youngest, and smaller gaps between say, the middle two, so I get it from both ends.

For example, I was at the supermarket with Melora and Ashley, who are 6 and 7, and someone asked if they were twins, I said no and said that Melora was a year older, and got the "Only a YEAR? Why did you want to do that to yourself?"

Then, just a few days ago I had to take Ariadne (17) to get an xray done during school hours and had Piper (3) with me and there was a very rude woman there that made the comment to (who im assuming was her husband) whispering, but still loud enough for me to hear, "Look at that, the teenager is promiscuous and has a baby, and the mother takes care of it, dosent it make you sick?"

Felt like hitting her over the head.
My mom has seven kids, me being the youngest. One of my middle sisters was 15 when I was born and EVERYONE in the neighborhood thought I was my sisters because there was just no way a 40 year old woman would have a baby!
Reply With Quote
  #18  
October 27th, 2010, 02:11 PM
HailandNevansmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 3,990
Once some lady at the dental office.... thought nevan was Hailees kid or something.. i was shocked. We both were. shes only 12.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #19  
December 4th, 2010, 11:06 AM
Crystal78's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Salt Lake City
Posts: 1,304
Hi my name is Crystal. I have 3 boys: Jesse is 11, Lucas is 9 and Emilio is 8 and 2 months ago had my baby girl Aleyah.

I am on both sides of spacing, Lucas and Emilio are 11 mos apart then there is 8 years between Emilio and Aleyah. I get asked questions all the time:
Do they have the same dad? Yes they do
Was she an accident? No she wasnt, she was a surprise.
Are you glad this one is a girl? I wouldnt have asked for a refund if she wasnt.
Are you getting your tubes tied now that you have a girl? Thanks for being so conserned about my fertility, but thats not any of your business. (yes I have actually been asked that a couple times.)
__________________
Crystal, mom to 3 handsome boys: Jesse (04-30-99) Lucas (05-28-01) Emilio (04-20-02) and our sweet princess Aleyah Michelle (10-07-10)

Reply With Quote
  #20  
January 6th, 2011, 10:15 AM
i:heart:you's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Scranton, PA
Posts: 17,012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathode View Post
Sigh,

Unfortunately, yes. And people can be so rude, like asking if they have the same father and stuff like that! In our case, the 8 year gap is due to secondary infertility, so when people ask why we waited so long to have another, I just want to punch them in the nose!

Really, what I want to say is: Non of your business, and how rude of you to ask! But usually I just answer honestly.
This exactly what I would have posted.

It took us forever to get pregnant with our second. And people always ask if the have the same father. The same thing for my parents, I have a sister who is 18 months younger, (my mom had us really young) and my sister is 11 years younger and my brother is 12years younger than me (my younger brother and sister are 18 months apart). People always ask if we have the same dad, we do, but what is any of their business!
__________________


**Thank you Bokkechick for my awesome siggy**
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:18 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0