[Urchin]

Hey guys!

I have no children yet, but if I do decide to have more than one (I am pretty sure I'd be content with one child, but who knows, I don't even have that yet ) I want them to be spaced further apart.

D is a little less thrilled and wants them closer together because he feels like they won't have a "bond" if they are 4-5 years apart.

I personally think spacing our children out further will allow me to "cope" better with raising kids, feel like I can be there for both of them more, and also benefit financially when it comes to putting them through college, etc. I also think that spaced children can bond just as well as those who are born closer together.

For those of you who have kids spaced further apart, what is your experience? What benefits (or "downfalls") have you experienced so far with having kids spaced apart?

[Wendeeda]

From my own experiences. I think you're both right.

They will be able to bond if they are far apart but the bond will be different (not in a bad way) and may depend on the parents more to keep everyone close. They won't have the same group of friends or attend school together and they won't go through "stuff" at the same time. One could be be planning a wedding while the other is still in Junior High which is the case with me and my sibling. When I was planning my wedding. My brother (5 years younger) was still in Jr. High, and my sister (11 years younger) was still in elementary school.

And because of issues with our parents we all tended to be scattered geographically AND emotionally.

However over the past couple years my sister (11 years younger) and I have found commonality in our lives and become very close.

Of course my example is just one example. My best suggestion would be to not worry about it. Have your first child and when you both feel ready, have your second.

And in the case of my 4 children... 17, 11, 11, (not twins) & 1. The space difference works out very well. Everyone gets along and I do enjoy only dealing with ONE little one at a time.

[Mommy2B...again]

I think all siblings will have a bond but the age difference definitely determines the type of bond. I have 2 older kids, 17(boy) & 16(girl) and the bond they have is enviable sometimes. They do fight like any teen siblings but they are also best friends. They go through the same things and can relate to eachothers "teen angst." I also have a 4 yr. old son who will be just about 5 when my daughter is due and my 4 yr. old is almost like an only child. I notice a HUGE difference in raising him with no close siblings and raising my other two together. He is always needing our attention and wanting us to play with him or asking older brother and sister to play. Not complaining about it but it is nice when they have a built in playmate. I know he will have that with his upcoming sister but it will take a while for the age difference to even out. If I had to choose again I would've planned this current pregnancy so they would only be a couple years apart. It is easier when they are close because you are doing the same things for both at the same time. For example rather than needing to go to the mall with one while the other just wants to go play at the park.

[Crystal78]

I have it both ways the age difference between DS1 and DS2 are 25 mos and between DS2 and DS3 is 11 mos and 8 yrs between DS3 and DD.

For me it was harder when they are closer in age because they are all fighting for your attention at the same time, now they are older they can do for themselves while I am doing things for the baby and they are more eager to help out. I have had a few instances of a little bit of jealousy with DS3 because he was the "baby" for 8 yrs and felt he was being replaced we just kept telling him no matter what he will always be my baby as will his brothers and sister

[Sorilla]

You can not reuse fashionable clothing if they are far apart, lol!