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New to this board!! Starting over when first set are teens!!


Forum: Widely Spaced Siblings

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  #1  
February 2nd, 2011, 01:51 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 46
Hi!! I am new to this board. I have been posting on the WTTC board for a few weeks. I was just married in July 2010 to a wonderful guy who does not have any biological children. I was a teen mom the first time around, and currently have a 16 year old non-biological son, 15 year old biological son and a 11 year old biological daughter. DH(who is 34) and I(who is 32) have been talking about kids for 2.5 years, and I am now starting to get excited about having a baby or two with him. But it is going to be like I am starting all over, and I have such mixed feels about it. The father of my first two left when they were really young, and I have been a single mom almost all there lives, which has been a struggle. I am now done with college, have a great career, wonderful children, and an absolutely amazing DH. So I know it will be different, and has already been different (DH is reading all the TTC books and starting to make life style changes), but I am still really nervious. Have any of you had such a big age gap, and how was your experience? We are going to start TTC in the middle of July, so I have five months to mentally prepare myself for starting all over.
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  #2  
February 2nd, 2011, 08:57 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Salt Lake City
Posts: 1,304
Congratulations on your marriage and for finding a great guy!

My kids ar 11, 9, 8 and almost 4 mos. For me I found it easier with the 11 yr age gap, my son is so happy to be a big brother and he is so helpful with his sister, my other 2 boys are big helpers as well but my oldest is more eager.

Good luck TTC can't wait to have you be an "official" member of the club!!
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  #3  
February 4th, 2011, 11:59 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,250
My DS is 14 and my DD is 8 months. My DH and I thought we were done having kiddos a long time ago My DD was a HUGE surprise, to say the least! I was so worried about the age gap. I worried that they wouldn't be close or that my DS would get sick of having a baby around after it was just him for so many years. But I have been pleasantly surprised that the age gap hasn't made much difference in the way he loves her. Now, he still won't change any diapers but I can tell her loves her just the same.

Good luck to you and I will throw lots and lots of baby dust your way!!
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  #4  
February 4th, 2011, 03:12 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 46
Thanks
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  #5  
March 1st, 2011, 01:42 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: California
Posts: 37
I can relate to your situation and your hesitations. I had my first two, son and daughter, by the time I was 21. I ended up also being single while they grew up and just got married at the end of 2005. I always knew I wanted more kids but as time when on and because our kids were so much older, I wasn't sure if I wanted to start all over again (My husband has older daughter also). We ended up being surprised with a son in 2006 and now I'm currently expecting our daughter, due in April 2011. In summary, as of next month, we will have the following ages in our home: 20, 17, 16, 4, newborn!

My main point was to reassure you that things work out and usually the worries we have seem to disappear during all the excitement and busyness. There are definitely challenges w/ blended families and with feeling like you're leading a double life; one in a teenage world and one in a baby world. Also, I feel guilt for my older two that they didn't get to experience their childhood in a two parent household like my younger two will.
But....for every challenge, there are twice as many payoffs. I love the relationships between my teens and 4 yr old and how unique my 4 yr old is because of this. I love that my teenagers know every episode of WordWorld by heart, that my older son teaches my 4 yr old to skateboard and play guitar, that my daughter builds the biggest and best forts ever for him, that they offered to sleep on his top bunk until he got used to his new room, and best of all...that my daughter and step-daughter see how absolutely challenging and un-glamorous being a parent can be and are therefore in no hurry to rush down that road!!
Good luck...it will be great!!
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  #6  
March 2nd, 2011, 06:31 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Salt Lake City
Posts: 1,304
I can't wait until my older boys can play more with my daughter!l
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  #7  
March 3rd, 2011, 02:53 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 46
Mommy2B thank you for your post. That sounds wonderful, and I am looking forward to bring more children into my house.
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  #8  
March 18th, 2011, 11:58 AM
kara74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,389
Congrats on your recent marriage!

I have 13 and 14 year old sons and I'm starting again with my third due October 7. I was remarried in January 2006 and this will be my husband's first. I'm a little nervous about starting over again so I'm glad to meet others like myself who can relate.
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