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mulitples who are 4 and a 3 year old....if we had another do you think it would ...


Forum: Widely Spaced Siblings

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  #1  
April 21st, 2011, 08:57 PM
Motherx3's Avatar <3
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 55
Hi! I have twin girls who are 4 years old and a 3 year old step son. I'm 21 and My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and half. We have talked about more children as we are both financially stable enough to allow for more children, but we wish to wait until about 9 years to conceive, that would mean the children that we have know would be 13-14 by the time baby is born, do you think it would make to much of an age gap where they would have no interest in each other and potentially no bond? I would like to have another child but we do have to consider my health at this point and frankly I would like to raise a single infant the second time around not that having multiples isn't fun because it really is, but I would like to experience one newborn and all that comes with it.
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  #2  
April 23rd, 2011, 10:08 PM
Crystal78's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Salt Lake City
Posts: 1,304
Not only do I have widely spaced kids I am one too, my bro and sis are 9 and 10 yrs older than me. Growing up I felt like an only child, by the time I was old enough to play my siblings had no interest in me and were busy hanging out with there friends. When I was a teen they were out of the house and starting families of their own. Now that I am an adult my sister and I are very close (my brother passed away almost 14 yrs ago) I admit it is something I worry about with Aleyah.

Sorry I can't be much help.
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  #3  
April 24th, 2011, 11:00 AM
D@mnedYankee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,460
I am a widely spaced sibling too. I am 24 and the older 5 are in their 40's and the younger 5 are 21-8, I am closer to most of the older ones now we're adults as for the younger ones I wasnt too into playing with them when they started to but as I got older I have grown closer to them, I will admit though the 13 year old is harder to connect with then the others but he is a 13 year old boy so...
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  #4  
April 26th, 2011, 08:02 AM
Keepin' it real!
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,656
Quote:
Originally Posted by Motherx3 View Post
Hi! I have twin girls who are 4 years old and a 3 year old step son. I'm 21 and My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and half. We have talked about more children as we are both financially stable enough to allow for more children, but we wish to wait until about 9 years to conceive, that would mean the children that we have know would be 13-14 by the time baby is born, do you think it would make to much of an age gap where they would have no interest in each other and potentially no bond? I would like to have another child but we do have to consider my health at this point and frankly I would like to raise a single infant the second time around not that having multiples isn't fun because it really is, but I would like to experience one newborn and all that comes with it.
I am a sibling of a family where we were all 4-5 years apart. My oldest brother and younger brother 15 years apart, knew each other 2 years. (My older brother kind of opted out of the family after that) and have no connection whatsoever. Myself and my little brother 10 years apart do not know each other either. I used to have to babysit him and we were close then, but when it was time for me to leave, he resented me for "leaving him" I think from personal experience, that it's very difficult to have them so close and it's also difficult to have them far apart. I think having them 13-14 years apart will definitely create some issues, but what family doesn't have issues?

It's your choice no matter what, but might I suggest not forcing your teens to babysit the baby? I see that A LOT (and had to do it) with siblings far apart in age and it creates a lot of issues. my parents seemed to forget that C was THEIR baby and not mine. It really sucked to be me back then.

PS. There is no guarantee you'll have a singleton, just thought you might want to know. You are at a higher risk of multiples again because you already had twins....I just wanted to point that out because you specifically mentioned you want to experience having one newborn at a time, but it just may not be in the cards. I had one at a time and then had twins, so I can tell you twins is definitely harder, but one at a time can be hard too.
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