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Forum: Widely Spaced Siblings

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  #1  
July 25th, 2006, 09:23 AM
*Stacey*'s Avatar life=laundry
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 14,362
I'm Stacey(24) married to Kevin(32) mommy to Emma(5) and Cadence who will be joining us in November.

I just had a question about your experience with having a new baby around someone who has been an only child for almost 6 years. Emma is doing great so far, but she has been acting really clingy lately, and I just don't want her to think that the new baby is going to take away her time with me.

*I had Emma from a previous relationship and this will be DH's and I first together.....but Emma's father has already had another baby (who is almost 1) with his current GF and Emma acted very strange about the whole situation (it was to the point that she didn't even acknowledge the fact she had a sister). I don't know what happened with that whole situation to make her feel that way, I just don't want her to think the same way with this PG......and I have been doing everything I can think of to include her in the pregnancy (she has been to every doctors appointment and U/S...she was even there when the U/S tech told us it was a girl!)*

Anyways....anyone have any other ideas/advice about getting her involved?
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  #2  
July 25th, 2006, 09:52 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My sister went and bought a gift from the baby to present to my nephew when she had her second child. And she took my older nephew out and had him pick out a gift for the baby. They were planning on exchanging them at the hospital but ended up doing it when they got home.
Other things is to let her help pick out some clothes for the baby when you go shopping, let her feel important in the decisions. Of course you are probably going to have to buy an outfit for her too or something else. Hmm, maybe help her write a letter to her baby sister. I am just throwing the rest of these ideas off the top of my head right now. If I come up with something else, I will let you know.

It was a little easier with my DD because she had a brother here already and a brother at her bio fathers house so she was totally used to it. Now that she is almost 11, she really is not that helpful anymore. She has her friends and other things going on just for her. Since my youngest is special-needs and the school counselor knows this, she invited Marissa to be in an after-school program that had limited space so she could have something just for her to do since a lot of my attention is drawn to the boys.
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  #3  
July 25th, 2006, 11:07 AM
melissa29624's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i have a 5 yr old and an almost 3 month old and i did exactly what you are doing! also..a lot of people gave her gifts at my baby showers (2)! and when hannah was born, some people brought her some gifts to the hospital to make her feel special! i talked to savanna alot about how much i loved her and that the baby would never take away that love...etc!
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  #4  
July 25th, 2006, 04:36 PM
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oh yes getting her involved is great! you might even discuss middle names with her if you haven't already decided and let her give her input. Also I make a point to get something, anything for my other kids when I have to get something for the baby. That makes them understand that I love them just as much. Another thing we did was make t-shirts for mygirls to wear when ds was born that said "Evan's Big Sister" we just got plain white shirts and they decorated and painted it themselves. when the baby comes, involve her again, let her cuddle with her and kiss heras many times as she wants,etc. i'm sure she will do great don't worry!
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  #5  
July 31st, 2006, 06:37 AM
mommyx4's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
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Hi-I have2 girls(and 2 step sons) who are spaced by 6 years so I understand what you are going through. Kelsey(my 8 year old) not only had to handle the fact I was getting married and she was getting 2 step brothers but that magically 1 year later she has a new sister. We also included her in everything from doctor appt. to naming her. Gramma and grandpa bought her a big sister shirt and gave it to her at the baby shower. She has done wonderful and is a great big sister. But I won't lie there are times that she makes comments about remember when we could go do this or that with just us two. My biggest advice is to make sure after the baby is born to continue to include her and to try to set a day aside for mommy and big sister. We don't do it often but I try to take just Kelsey out with just us two at least once a month. Good luck she will do great.
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  #6  
July 31st, 2006, 06:47 AM
jbc0827
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I did the same thing you did, had Melissa come to the u/s where we found we were having a girl. She also went to other appointments with me as well. I bought a gift for her from her baby sister that I gave her at the baby shower. We also got her an "I'm the Big Sister" shirt. We also let her help us pick out clothes and different things we needed for the baby. We also painted wooden letters that spelled out Mackenzie's name to hang on the wall of the nursery. We also let her stay home from school the day her sister was born and she was at the hospital when her little sister was born. She was in the lobby with my MIL and was the first one let in the room (even before MIL) to meet her sister.

I hope this helps. Maybe her dad and his gf didn't involve her in the events leading up to the baby being born. Are they treating her any different? That could be the problem.
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  #7  
July 31st, 2006, 08:26 AM
*Stacey*'s Avatar life=laundry
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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Thanks everyone!
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